Two Hands

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
It is an insight to a small part of my life and how i think. I am afraid of never having enough joyful moments in life.

Submitted: August 13, 2013

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Submitted: August 13, 2013

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Two Hands

Our days are controlled by two hands. One is long and slender, the other short and slow. We are the puppets of time. We worship time to the point where even if we are a minute late our schedule is turned upside down and we are thrown into a pool of panic. New York City is possibly the largest offender of this crime; everyone rushing like the white rabbit to arrive at a destination which only keeps you locked up. You spend your day waiting for the tall slender hand to free you from your duties only to be thrown back onto the streets at rush hour, surrounded by a hundred people silently suffering just like you.  You are a mouse stuck on a spinning wheel, going nowhere fast and achieving nothing.

As children we are asked what we would like to be when we grow up; pilots, police officers, doctors, nurses, princesses, hell I knew a kid who wanted to slay dragons. However, this common question plagues the youth of tomorrow’s mind with doubts that there will never be enough months in a year to achieve the dreams that keep them up at night. As a youngster my dreams were few and far between, career options were scarce and at 7 years of age I had only one thing in mind; my dog.

Henry was the first pet I remember having, he was an ex-police dog. Of course he was large and once vicious to the average criminal but my parents had no doubt in their minds when I was crawling all over him and yanking his ears. My memory of him is disappearing with every new thought that becomes lodged into my brain, and lately that’s a lot. I wish I had more time with him. Because time is all it takes to fall in love with an animal. I fall in love with animals every day, I work at a vet clinic and aspire to be a vet, to travel the world and help animals become one with humans again. The only thing stopping me is those two hands. There are two beings inside me constantly voicing their opinions, one tells me to reach for the stars and achieve my dream of helping animals, to support myself and have a worthy life filled with knowledge and understanding of the way animals operate. But the other is a completely different ball game.

It will take you 7 seconds to judge me, I appear small and unafraid of others opinions, my wardrobe is made from countless “Tree of Life” purchases and I endeavour to grow dreadlocks just to ‘Go against the Grain’ as the saying goes. I wish to live a life where time does not control my every adventure. I wish to live a life where I can travel and live freely doing as I please with who I deem necessary. But if I choose to take this path, to enlighten my free-spirited self, where will that get me? When my time comes I want to look at my life and know that I have not let anyone down. If I take this option I am letting down everyone. The question remains, do I want to be happy?

 

My day will come, the day when we stop fighting and just let go. I am not afraid of death for I have encountered him many times; he has knocked on my door and asked to come in, he has taken away the most influential people in my life. He has rid me of beautiful moments to be shared with them; he has rid me of precious time. Two hands have almost defeated me.

At some point in our lives we have to stop, smell the roses and just breathe. We cannot save time, nor can we slow it down we can only enjoy it while it’s ours. Take that demon off of your wrist and listen to the beating of your own heart. It is at this moment and only then that you will be free. Now I am free.


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