When a Skeleton Decides to go Bad…
So our heroes, Hunchback and the Fat Kid like any warm-blooded American were taking their two-weeks paid vacation. They were visiting the Beach Islands of Hawkland (the sun is not visible there on account of the millions of hawks circling the island every sing hour of every single day of every single year since 1983). Unfortunately for Hunchback and the Fat Kid their arch villain Billy Bones was also taking his two-weeks paid vacation at these very same islands.
Our two heroes set up an umbrella and two lounge chairs in the sandy beach. “Boy, I wish some of those hawks would scatter so we could get some sun.” Fat Kid said. “What?” Hunchback replied.
“I said wouldn’t it be swell if these birds would allow us some sun by moving out of the way?” Fat Kid said with a little more power in his voice.
“What?” the elder member of the duo once again asked.
“Aww, forget it.” Fat Kid disappointedly said.
Just then Billy Bones walked up to them on the beach. Fat Kid saw him first and said, “What do you want?”
Billy replied, “Taking a vacation like the two of you.”
Fat Kid felt provoked so he said, “Get lost will ya?”
Out of nowhere Hunchback says, “What is he doing here?”
Completely ignoring him Billy says with a grin, “I guess I will be on my way then.” He starts to walk away. “Good riddance.” Fat Kid says in hushed tones under his breath.
As he is walking away Bones says, “I shall attack them while they are on vacation. First, I will feed the hawks tons of bird food, then they will become so full they will have no choice but to poop all over my enemies parade or shall I say vacation.” He starts his evil villain laugh, but is interrupted when Fat Kid says matter of factly, “You moron, you only walked away from us by about ten feet.”
“So you heard everything?” Billy Bones said meekly.
“Yes we did, I’ll even bet my partner Hunch heard it too.”
“What?” Hunchback asked.
“So you heard everything about the birds and the poop and everything?” Bones asked.
“Yeah!” Fat Kid said sounding like he just woke up to the aroma of breakfast burritos cooking. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Fat Kid continued.
“Please remind me again what the easy way is.” Billy replied
“The easy way is you turn yourself over to the police now and save us all a little bit of time.” Fat Kid said with his new found feeling of confidence. “The hard way is you battle me and Hunchback in a game of Dance-Off 2000 the Arcade Game.
“I don’t like either option!” Billy yelled as he started running on the beach to the nearest store to buy twenty-five thousand bags of bird seed.
“I hate when bad guys do that” Fat Kid said very tongue in cheek. “Time to catch this dirtbag!” Fat Kid yelled. Hunchback grabbed the umbrella and stood on the seat of the lounge chair. With a running as best as he could start Fat Kid yelled, “Ving, vang, voom!” and jumped on to the back of the chair catapulting Hunchback into the air which then hundreds of hawks grabbed the umbrella with their talons and quickly guided him over a running Billy Bones and dropping Hunchback right on top of Bones, knocking him out instantly.
Fat Kid huffed and puffed while running to the scene of Hunchback sitting on top of a defeated Billy Bones. Suddenly a hand touched Hunchback’s shoulder. “Great job, boys” a friendly voice said. It was Captain Caddywonkus who just so happened to be on his two weeks paid vacation as well. “What?” a startled Hunchback said. The Captain and the Fat Kid had a laugh at the expense of Hunchback, completely ignoring his question, and leaving him very confused.
The moral of this story is: Without a doubt if you can please take your two weeks paid vacation, however, if you do make sure you do not waste it on a time when your arch enemy takes his vacation to the same exotic destination.
© Copyright 2016 Brian A Garber. All rights reserved.
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Humor
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