I never thought I'd feel so empty inside. All along, I knew I'd be alone for a while, without you here, but I underestimated the true feelings of loneliness. I can't seem to get over this depression, and my world feels much darker without you by my side to hold me while I cry. I miss you, babe, and I wish you could arrange a flight to come home. I need your presence near, to brighten my day like you used to.
Going away to war had been your choice, and I let you follow your dreams. In a way, I'm glad you're getting to do what you'd always wanted to do. You're a hero to everyone, and setting a good example to our country for what you're doing. It'll be nice for you, but for me, I'm experiencing hell. I have no one here for me anymore, until you come back. And that's just so far away, eleven months. I can't possibly spend eleven months in deep depression, with the world closing in on me. You've only been gone three days, but it feels more like three years. I can't stand it when you're gone.
As I'm sitting here in my room, allowing the darkness to consume me, I can't help but stare at your half of our bedroom. Your bed is still made so neatly, the way you always kept it. The scent of your cologne still lingers in here, and it just smells so much like you. The tears don't seem to have an end, and I'm afraid I might flood the house with my emotions. I'm tired of picking up the broken pieces of my heart. I've even started slitting my wrists with my razor. I'm sorry, I just can't help it.
I remember the day you left. I watched you walk away, and even kept track of every step you took. I still remember how many – twenty-three – just before you turned around the corner, and disappeared out of sight. I'll always remember that number. Our love was so strong, and I refuse to let that go so soon. I love you James, and I want you to know that.
I hope you will get the chance to read this letter, if you're not busy in battle. If you receive it, please respond, if you have time. I love you.
Sophia Rose threw herself down on her own bed, howling loudly over the thought of James out in war. Where he was was indeed dangerous, and she feared for his safety. What if James was shot and killed while out in battle? How would she live on without him? She only hoped he'd manage to keep himself safe somehow, and come back home as soon as he could.
She sealed the letter shut, and dragged herself down the quiet road she lived on. She entered the post office at the end of the street, and sent the letter out to Afghanistan, where James was temporarily residing. Crying softly to herself, she returned back to the hell she currently called home, and slumped down on the couch. She felt almost as if her life had no purpose anymore. What was the point to life if she didn't have the man she loved right next to her? Why would she want to live if she knew that her husband's life could be lost in a matter of seconds? How would she know he wasn't dead already?
The walls in the house appeared to be closing in on her, and she wanted to scream. She had an incredible amount of stress on her shoulders, and had even taken two weeks off work to stay home and sulk. The curtains covered every window, darkening the house, and Sophia preferred it that way. This allowed her to seal herself off from the world, so no one would attempt to communicate with her, and no one would know of her existence. James was constantly running through her mind, only depressing her more.
Sophia decided to take a short nap, in attempt to forget about all that had happened. She climbed slowly into James' bed, breathing in his scent through the sheets. A flood of tears ran down her cheeks, and it took a few hours before sleep finally dragged her under. She dreamt of James, imagining he was holding her tightly, comforting while she cried, and kissing her when she needed it most. She never stopped thinking of him for the whole time she'd slept.
The sound of the doorbell rang throughout the whole house, and it startled Sophia, nearly causing her to topple out of bed. Who would want to disturb her during her rest? By gazing at the clock, she realized she'd slept for seven long hours, and nightfall had settled in. The house was much darker, and it was difficult for Sophia to see where she was going. Her fingertips swept across the surface of the wall, allowing her to locate which part of the house she was currently in. Her hands hit a smooth surface, and she knew she'd hit the railings on the stairs.
Sophia nearly fell down the stairs in her exhaustion. She felt twenty years older than she really was. With the rest of her strength, she unlocked the front door, and swung it open. It took her a moment, but when she saw who was there, her jaw dropped, and she screamed.
She fell into his arms, sobbing with joy. They embraced, and Sophia breathed in his scent. James was finally home to help cure her depression. She still wouldn't let herself believe that it was James who was holding her tightly. Her dreams had come true. After spending a few moments in a tearful embrace, Sophia pulled away, and stared into his unique, emerald eyes.
“What... I can't believe it...” she stuttered. “Why did you decide to come home?”
James cleared his throat. “I missed you, babe. I'm thinking of returning back to my old job, so I can be near you all the time. I couldn't stand three days on the opposite side of the world. I spent my time deeply depressed, and now that I'm home, I can have you here to warm my heart and make me feel special.”
Sophia smiled. James had quit being in the military, just to spend time with her. He'd never gotten the letter, because he'd already been flying home when she'd sent it out, but that was okay. She couldn't believe what he'd done for her. As they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed powerfully, they both knew that they'd never have to worry about missing each other again.
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