AGAINST THE ODDS: Woman of virtues with a Man of Vices

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AGAINST THE ODDS: A woman of virtues with a Man of Vices: Is an article written by Missy for women who are in love-relationships with a man of self destructive habits. Very informational and cautiously written by the Author.

Submitted: August 05, 2011

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Submitted: August 05, 2011

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When a woman falls in love her heart is given openly along with all her God given virtues to the one she falls in love with. Compassion, understanding, caring, nurturing, guidance, faith, respect, devotion, commitment and trust are a few of woman’s virtue and it is to be taken into consideration and returned with utmost respect especially from a man who “claim” to love her back.  At times however, when a woman of all these virtues falls in love with a man whose heart and mind has been shattered by someone in his past, the one he fell in love with before or was in a mutual relationship with, along with earthly “vices” or ways of life that are filled with earthly desire or self destructive habits,  it IS very difficult to come together as “partners in a long term mutual relationship” as one will always live her life with morals and values, the other lives his life with ways that are not only harmful to relationship but also harmful to his partner’s emotional, mental, psychological and at times physical welfare. One always finds herself worrying, wondering and being disrespected if not her trust gets tainted numerous times.

 

 

Sadly enough at times there are women whose been beaten so bad with emotional and psychological turmoil that they lose perspective or focus on tending to their own personal growth and sometimes, they lose themselves in the chaos of love-relationship they over looked what’s important in life. Their own personal growth, they lose their faith in love and someone they are with, they lose the trust they’ve given freely in hope that their partner will place a high regards on them. Some women finds themselves in this emotional turmoil where they are being put into a compromising position whether to stay with the person they’re with, to keep saving the relationship thinking, someday it will get better, or he will change, only to find themselves drowning in self pity, endless crying and sufferings, feeling self-inadequate, alone and empty. While the person they are with, promises them the moon and the stars over and over yet words always contradicts the actions and treatment these women receives.

 

 

When a woman’s heart falls in love, it doesn’t judge nor see the wrong doings of the person she fell in love with. Sometimes it takes years before the other person wakes up from being treated poorly and most of the time, it is either when the relationship has drowned, or broken into pieces, if not both people in mutual relationship has grown so far apart that it is nearly impossible to save what’s left of the relationship. In the mean time prolonging goodbyes, anticipating more struggles and emotional not to mention psychological chaos all these negative emotions can be draining and energy consuming not to mention time spent in a false hope that something will work out. That love will conquer all. Any form of love-relationship requires mutual respect, mutual consideration, mutual hard work, emotions and effort invested for the mutual benefit of each other and the relationship, these are essentials for love to conquer all, these can only be attain if TWO people in a mutual relationship is committed to sacrifice something to achieve the greater good. After all love they say, is a self – sacrifice.

 

 

BUT if the woman of virtues is the only one who gives way and sacrifices everything she is for the sake of keeping a relationship with a Man of Vices who only tends to his selfish wants and needs without regards to everyone around him, especially the woman he claim to love and wants to be with, yet does nothing but to cause her pain, anguish and excuse his behavior and treatment towards his woman by blaming the world, or his vices or people who contributes and aid his vices, if not making promises he knew he will never keep only to keep the company of a woman he knew would be there for him, stood by him because of her God given virtues. In this situation it is necessary to assess one’s position in her relationship and her place in her man’s life.  

 

 

It is heart breaking to hear stories of women who loves too much, who gives too much for the sake of love and relationships while the one they are with, only takes and abuses these God given virtues to women. It is very sad to know there are others out there who use “love” as a passage way to taking advantage of women and it is heart breaking to hear that there are women out there who finds themselves in these type of situation. Others may say “It’s not that easy to get out”, “I love him so much I know he will change”, “I want to keep my marriage”, “He knows I care about him” or “There are children involved” a man’s vices can be anything, drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling and many more.  These are self destructive behaviors, others refers to it as “compulsion” no amount of love can change these behavioral patterns or compulsion IF the person himself IS NOT willing to change, at times they have tried every possible way they can to change, but without professional help they will always fall off the wagon and revert back to their old ways, Compulsion or vices doesn’t go away over night, it requires not only commitment to change but outside intervention.

 

 

Any woman of God given virtue can only take too much, can only sacrifice too much or understand too much, care too much or love too much. But sometimes there are things we just don’t have control of, men with self destructive compulsion needs compassion and understanding, they need their woman’s unconditional guidance, but they mostly need to admit to themselves, they too have no control of these so called destructive behavioral patterns, therefore they MUST seek professional help, attend a community support group, twelve steps program, AA programs (Alcohol Anonymous) or Sex Addiction Anonymous or any forms of professional helps which will guide them through recovery.

 

 

I “Personally” think there is nothing impossible with LOVE, positive self love is mandatory of one’s well being, it is very important for one to have a self respect, self integrity, self discipline and self – esteem. A woman of all these virtues can be exposed to everything opposite to what she truly is and loses her self in a chaos with a relationship with a Man of vices, that’s true indeed, HOWEVER with mutual understanding and commitment, I don’t see anything impossible.  Like the old saying goes “True Love is a self-sacrifice” anything bad can be turned into something good, any form of vices if one admits to himself his own weakness and receives professional help and spiritual guidance can turn into someone worthy of true love, worthy of good relationship and most importantly worthy of a woman’s heart with God given virtues. To all the women out there who may find themselves in these situations, please encourage the one you love or someone you care about to seek professional help before they harm themselves and others around them.  Any forms of self destructive behavioral patterns not only impact the other person greatly, but those around them. Sometimes, it cost families, marriages, relationships or children involved.  Please keep in mind there are things in our lives we have no control of and these things requires intervention. Good luck and I wish you all well.

 

 

 


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