DoUbLe

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Its all in a feeling, a moment... a thought...

Submitted: June 28, 2008

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Submitted: June 28, 2008

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This feeling now, this hollow feeling of mixed emotion, guilt, and running parallel to my actual existence. I’m here but not really, because in my mind I am somewhere else. It hurts, not just me, but if those around me were to know the truth - they would also hurt. I have been like this since as far back as I can remember. Surely my double life will not go unnoticed forever? Sex, lies and house music, we all have our demons right? What is wrong with me? How can I allow myself into this place of darkness? Having a child I can deal with, but being with one person for the rest of my life? Oh, Lord, I am such a disappointment. I have him stuck in my mind, I think about the boy all the time, like the others before him... Perhaps I should just accept that this is who I am? I crave excitement the rush of a non mediocre lifestyle and new things, life bores me easily. I search for distraction and trouble? Wow, that’s really crazy...
I’m meant to be alone, that must be it... I have love right now, I have built my whole life around this love, but I’m probably going to mess it up... That’s what I do... I’m never happy, I’m always searching, I always find myself in compromising situations because I enjoy getting myself into them...
Fuck! I need help... Can anyone help me? Maybe I need to know I'm not the only one?


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