Waiting in a silence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Real life story

Submitted: October 21, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 21, 2015



Waiting in a silence

By Ali.M

Baku was as usual windy. It was dark and cold outside. She was still standing in front of the window and waiting for her son to come. Tears made her cheeks completely wet. Her younger daughter Habiba and younger son Rza were at home. Habiba was 10 and Rza was 7. But today she could not think about anything else but her son. Suddenly she could see dark shadow of a man through the window. She stared attentively to find out whether it was her son. But no, it was her husband walking with heavy and tired steps. He came in and his children gathered around him. She was trying to hide her grief as she was laying the table for his husband and children. In few minutes the door opened and a tall, handsome 16 year old young boy entered the house. It was Boyukaga, her elder son.  He stepped forward shook hands with his father, kissed his siblings and went to the kitchen to see his mother. As soon as she saw him in front of her she started to tremble and her eyes filled with tears again. They hugged and she kissed him many times on his face and forehead. He was very surprised to see his mother so sad and in tears. He asked the reason but she did not tell him the truth. When the family finished the dinner Rza and Habiba went to the other room to continue games with toys. She told his husband and son the news that had been killing her all day long. Boyukaga had been called from military office to join the army and take part in the World War II against German troops. Father was sad in his heart but did not show his emotions and instead called this a very encouraging and memorable moment. She handed the official call letter to Boyukaga. He did not show any emotions. He was not afraid or disappointed. The only thing that would bother him could be his support to his family. He and his father were the breadwinners for the family. And now he had to go….but he would go for his country and glory…….

Two days passed and it was time for Boyukaga to put together his power for his motherland. 10.11.1941 became the date that the family would remember forever. Because that day Boyukaga said goodbye to them and left for the army.  Everyone was sad because Boyukaga was not with them anymore. Father was in bad mood, mother was crying almost the whole day, Rza didn’t understand what was going on and Habiba –that small 10 year old girl parted from her hero, defender and soul mate. There had always been special tie and love between Habiba and Boyukaga. Now he was not there. Who would tell her stories? Defend her? And tell her that she was the most beautiful and cleverest girl in the world…… no one….she would wait for his letters…..and she would write to him…..and the war would end soon and he will be back to his sister and family….

Two months later. There was a knock at the door. Mother ran to the door and opened it with excitement. She was so excited because she was looking forward to the letter from her son…She thought it would be the first letter. She saw post officer in front of her. He was dull and did not say anything. Just gave her envelope and disappeared. The envelope she was holding in her hands was the first and last letter from her son. It was official state letter announcing her son lost. Lost-because his corpse had not been found but he was probably dead. As she read these lines sharp sword cut her heart into pieces…she fainted. The life changed its color for her and everyone in the family…. Soon she got sick…she could not bear such heavy grief in her heart and closed her eyes for good. Family was almost broken and scattered around. Habiba had to take care of her family. She cooked, cleaned the house, took care of her younger brother.  Traces of dark days did not leave her. She had lost her brother, she had lost her mother….who would be next?

Years passed but the sorrow did not go away. The World War II was over. The country economy started to prosper. The family lived in the same house. Father seemed to forget all those black days. Rza was growing and was cheerful as usual. Habiba had reconciled with her mother’s death but could not do the same related to her brother…. She kept the letter that killed her mother. It said: “He was lost. The corpse not found. Probably dead.”  But there was not any exact and precise evidence that her brother was dead. This thought had always been with her….Everyone around her told her to throw that thought away…reconcile with the hard rules of life and continue to live….but she did refuse all the thoughts except hers. Maybe he was taken by German troops as a captive…was still alive….far in Europe. But what could she do to find him? No one supported her in this case.

Ten years later she got married and had three beautiful children-two girls and one boy. Her father passed away soon after her wedding. Her brother Rza now lived in the southern part of the region. He was a military officer. She had almost lost all connections with him. Habiba was now busy with daily family cares. Her husband was hard-working man who had also suffered from World War II losing his father and two brothers. Habiba told her husband several times about her brother’s possibility to be alive, but he strictly prohibited that type of a conversation. Because all these things reminded him of his family members who were victims of the war.  Habiba however did not give up the thought. She still believed that he was alive. Then why did not he come back? Why did not he write a letter? Maybe he did not have opportunity for that. Maybe circumstances did not let him announce his being alive. Love for his brother did not allow her think that he was dead.  In two years she got the news that her younger brother died in car accident. She participated in funerals, but was not so much deep in sorrow as she was for Boyukaga. Her hero was always with her….She often dreamed of him…..

Years passed as seconds.  Life was moving on. Her children grew up got married, had children and her family grew year after year….All her children knew her family story, but she did not let them take her brother’s name for her grandchildren. She thought that it was not right to use someone’s name as a memory for him while there was chance that he was alive…This thought was still with her. She was still hoping that one of her grandchildren would take the matter seriously and would help her to find out the truth.  She now had seven grandchildren, but the one of them was the most beloved for her. Her elder daughter’s first son and her second grandchild. This young boy listened to her life stories with high interest and always asked questions about the details….

Baku 2015 July 6. That young grandson is now 22 years old man with higher education and international career. His name is Ali. Yeah Ali. It’s me the author of this story. My granny Habiba is now 75 and still lives with hope that her brother  is alive…or even if he is dead she wants to know everything about his life and death…..I am about to make my granny’s wish come true. I have quite a lot friends in Europe and today I am starting my tour to Europe as a part of my vacation. But I will go there on business –to find my granny’s brother. I have already informed her about my journey. She is so excited……..

I have found several organizations working with refugee and captive issues. It will not be easy,but I will do my best……I am packing my belongings as I have a flight today to Berlin at 4.30 pm…..I hope that by time my granny reads this story I will have found out everything about her brother……..


Two month later (September 2015) I was back from Europe with very important news for my granny.


PS: I am the only family member who has right to name my future son after her brother (Boyukaga)……to keep his memory alive……




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