Dangerous Mind Games

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
To feel or not to feel? What do you really want? The mind is a very dangerous place...

Submitted: November 11, 2010

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Submitted: November 11, 2010

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The mind is a dangerous thing, its depth imperceptible, incomparable, and infinite. In that boundless vacuum for knowledge and thought, you still get tangled. You don't know what you want.

I want him, my first love. I want to hear his voice without fear, succumb to his arms without hesitation, forgive him without the past. I miss his scent, his touch, our fun memories and our late night calls. I loved him with all my heart, mind, soul, and body.

I want to stay away from him. He's no good, not good for me...to me. I'm sick of it. I can't stand nor comprehend his twisted sense of humor that breaks my heart every time I hear it. I can't take it anymore. I won't stand it another minute!

I've been distant from it all, detached. The feelings were half-hearted, as if it was someone else. the twisting, twirling emotions rampage through my violent, turbulent mind: confusion, devastation, anger, love, agitation, so many different feelings for one person, the extent being so indescribable! I'm glad for the detachment because when I go to sleep at night, I think. That's why the mind is so dangerous. As soon as it gets a moment of rest, thoughts race, bringing hot tears to my eyes. I enjoy being numb to the shattered remains of my heart.

But feeling nothing is no way to live! Feeling nothing is...well nothing! I want to feel! The pain, the joy, the anger, that is life! But it's too much.

So much turmoil...chaos...pandemonium. Conflicting thoughts and feeling prick my eyes as tears every night in the dark. I'm lonely without it, without him, but miserable with the pain. It's my only companion now...


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