A Drawer Of Humorous Shorts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just some silly sketches from my notebook. They're coming fast and furious, and i can't seem to stop them. So, of course, I dumped them on Booksie!

Submitted: January 22, 2014

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Submitted: January 22, 2014

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You're Ignorant!

 

Stop being so sensitive, for Christ's sake!  I didn't call you stupid, I called you ignorant, there's a huge difference.  There's nothing wrong with being ignorant.  Everyone is ignorant.  And if you are ignorant, so what?  All that means is you have a lack of knowledge.  There's lots of things you know about, and lots of things you don't.  Damn it, I'm ignorant too!  I'm ignorant about microbiology, for instance.  I don't know the first freakin' thing about it.  Doesn't mean I'm stupid.  And neither are you.  Okay?  Are we good?  Yes?  Good.  (Jesus, what  freakin' idiot)

 

 

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My Royalty Check

 

I just got a royalty check for 51 cents!  Once I cash it, there's all sorts of things I can do with that kind of money.  Just think, I'll bet I can build a tower of pennies and knock them back down, over and over again.  Or, I can lose them under the cushions of my couch, and act overjoyed when I find them again.  Then, I can go out to my car and throw them in the ashtray with last week's chewing gum.  Oh!  I am so excited!  The possibilities are endless!

Maybe I can try bribing Judge Judy, or, better yet, my four-year-old nephew so he'll stop pulling his sister's hair.  If that doesn't work, I can take them to the bank and ask to put them through their coin counting machine, or get in line at the drive-through and make all the other customers wait a half hour while I fill out my deposit slip.  Now I think I'm onto something.  I think I'll write that down on my calendar:  Wednesday - 3pm - Bank.  Ooooo, can't wait!

 

 

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Cody and Kody Be Thinkin'

 

CODY:  You knows, them there homeosapients is some smart cookies.

KODY:  Yeah, problem solvers an' tool users, every one of 'em.

CODY:  That's what I heard!  Sheeeeeeit, wished we coulds be one of 'em.

KODY:  Git out.  We caint be no homosapins, we's just guys, is all we are.

CODY:  Maybe ifin we had more book larnin'...

KODY:  Shoot, Cody, you's can't even read.  What's good a book gonna do ya?

CODY:  Can too.

KODY:  Can not.

CODY:  Can too.

KODY:  Sheeeeeit cuz, you's dummer than a broken brick.

CODY:  Am not.

KODY:  Am too.  That brick hit ya' haid, an' it was so hard, it broke clean in two.

CODY:  Take that back!

KODY:  Ain't gonna.

CODY:  Take it back.

KODY:  Aw, go poke a stick in yo' eye.

CODY:  Ha, good'n!  Well ... you can go chew on a rotten egg samich.

KODY:  He he!  An' you can go fill you drawers with buck shot and bumblebees.

CODY:  Oooowie!  Bet that'd hurt a bit.  Do I gotta throw some honey down there with 'em?

KODY:  Shit no, cuz.  Wouldn't want to mess 'em up.  You's only got's one pair.

CODY:  Ha!  Ain't so, think I got 'nother somewheres.

KODY:  Well dang, it's right there on yo' haid.  An' you thought you was wearin' a hat!

CODY:  Well, I'll be.  Thanks cuz.

KODY:  I'm here for ya, bro.

CODY:  Ya gots that right.  Always are, cuz.


© Copyright 2020 brucek. All rights reserved.

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