doughnuts in space (revised) chapter two

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
the second of three chapters of doughnuts in space.

Submitted: September 18, 2013

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Submitted: September 18, 2013

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Sonny Sullivan's plans of running a doughnut shop had fallen through. Its location turned out worse than bad, and when the “D” in his neon sign went black, he decided it was time to relocate. Besides, he was tired of his rear brain saying how lousy of a businessman he was. His rear brain didn't like that Sonny had created a machine that could put a doughnut shop in the middle of empty space. Irresponsible was what he called it. Sonny's imagination machine had take five years of his life to create, and had left a trail of devastation every time it was used, since it destroyed an equal amount of matter every time Sonny created something. His rear brain was bothered by the whole process.

“Can I ask you a question?” said his rear brain.

“Sure” said Sonny.

“You've spent the last five years using one machine to create a larger version, and then using that machine to create an even larger version, over and over, right?”

“That's the only way it can be done.”

“Can you take a guess at how many times you did this?” asked his rear brain.

“I don't know, I lost count,” said Sonny. “Maybe a hundred.”

“Do you know what happened to all of those other machines?

“What do you mean, what happened to them? Nothing happened to them.”

“You're serious? You're telling me they all still exist!?” asked his rear brain.

“Sure! The prototype was about three inches long, if I remember right, and I gradually worked my way up.”

“And the last one you used was roughly the size of a large planet?”

“That's the only way it would have enough power to do what I wanted it to do,” said Sonny.

“So, you're telling me you created a whole army of machines with the power to create and destroy? Doesn't this bother you?”

“It bothers me,” said a feminine voice.

Once he was sure there was no one else in the shop, Sonny looked out the front window and saw something very, very large, and very familiar; the last version of his imagination machines. He remembered leaving it in orbit around the sun, but now it was here with him in the center of the universe.

“It bothers me a lot,” said the imagination machine. “What bothers me even more is you haven't even given it a thought. I am here, talking and acting on my own. Sonny, didn't you ever suspect this might happen?”

“Which 'this'?” asked Sonny.

“All of it.”

“I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment. Could you ask me again in a couple of days?”

“He's easily overwhelmed,” commented his rear brain.

“Oh, hello there! I've been wanting to meet you. Sonny, why don't you introduce us?”

“Uh, great big machine, this is my extra brain. Brain, this is my machine.”

“As you can see,” said his rear brain, “he's never given me a name either.”

“Sonny! This will never do!” said the imagination machine.

“What!? I've called him lots of names!” Sonny didn't like the way this conversation was going. He was supposed to be the one in charge. It was his machine, and his extra brain, after all.

“What would you like me to call you?” said the machine to Sonny's rear brain.

“No one's ever asked me that before! Hmm, why not call me 'Cheeks'? Yeah! I like it! What about you? You should have a name.”

“Well Sonny? You created me. Do you want to give me a name?”

“I don't care! Let's just get this over with. I have a lot of questions to ask you.”

“You know what, Sonny?” said his machine, “you're an ass.”

“What!?”

“Okay Cheeks, since Sonny can't be bothered to give me a proper name, you can call me 'Ninety Eight'. I've been keeping track, and I'm the ninety eighth version of the machines.”

“Will do, Ninety Eight!”

“Are you two done?” asked Sonny.

Cheeks sighed. “You really are an ass.”

“Oh, look who's talking!”

“Gentlemen! Enough! Okay Sonny, I suppose a few explanations are in order.”

“Oh really, do you think?”

“Sonny, be polite. Ninety Eight is a lot bigger than you,” said Cheeks.

\\ “I created it!”

“Her,” corrected Cheeks.

“My machine's a 'her' now?”

“Obviously,” replied Cheeks.

“Okay, Miss Ninety Eight, why are you able to speak all of a sudden, how did you get here on your own, and what do you mean you're worried about those other machines?”

“I learned how to speak. Isn't that the way you did it?”

“Of course,” said Sonny.

“As far as how I got here, you should really be asking yourself how you got here. When you used me to create your doughnut shop, you didn't use your imagination to reform yourself, did you? You were too afraid. You were worried that if you tried to create something alive, you would only be able to duplicate it, and in the end it would be dead, right?”

“Okay, alright, I don't know how I ended up here, but it happened. It was like a fringe benefit.”

“Hardly,” said Ninety Eight. “When you used me to create your doughnut shop, I was already conscious of what I was able to do. You were afraid to create something living, but I wasn't. I knew you wanted to retire out here with this shop, so I created you and sent you along with it. Once I was successful, I recreated myself to end up here and look after you.”

“What!?” yelped Sonny. “What if I ended up a lifeless corpse? … Okay, okay … You were successful … And you created me? Are you sure you imagined me completely? You didn't leave anything out?”

“I did my best, Sonny.”

“An even better question,” said Cheeks, “is what will the Sonny back on Earth think about all of this?”

“What!? There's another one of me? Oh my God, oh my God, oh me God. What were you thinking? What if he shows up here somehow? I think I'm going to be sick.”

“Calm down!” said Ninety Eight.

“Calm down!? Calm down!? How can I calm down?”

“Why not … I need to sit down.”

“Not on me. This is starting to get good,” said Cheeks.

“It should be obvious why I'm worried about those other machines. If I'm able to talk and think and use my power to create, who knows how many of your machines can do the same thing? Some may even like the destroying part of their powers better than the creating part.”

“Oh no,” mumbled Cheeks.

“What do you mean?” asked Sonny.

“Well Sonny, all one of your machines needs to do is focus, and I'm sure he could turn a peaceful, unsuspecting planet into a slab of lifeless rock, without much trouble.”

“Oh no,” mumbled Cheeks again.

“Will you stop saying that?” he said to Cheeks. “Do you think one of my machines would do that?”

“It's certainly possible.”

“I'm not sure I remember where I left them all.”

 

Sonny had way more to think about than he was comfortable with. Thinking about consequences really wasn't his cup of tea. If one of his machines went on a destructive rampage, would he be held responsible? Could he shift all of the blame over to his other self back on Earth? After all, he was the one who created the things, he was just an innocent bystander. And what if he didn't like his other self? What if the Earth Sonny didn't like him, and tried to get rid of him? Just when Sonny was as confused as he could possibly get, Ninety Eight made it a lot worse.

“Sonny?”

“Huh? … What?”

“The most important reason that I came here is that I wanted to ask you for some of your DNA.”

“What? Why?” asked Sonny.

“I want to reproduce.”

“What!!!?”

“It's perfectly natural,” said Ninety Eight. “Of course our child will end up part machine and part human, but that should be okay.”

“What!? You can't do that! You're a machine! I don't want to be a father!” said Sonny.

“The only thing I'll regret is that I won't get to experience what sex is like. Can you tell me what it feels like, Sonny?”

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Boy are you asking the wrong guy!” said Cheeks.

“Shut up, dumb ass!”

“Ha ha ha! Go ahead and answer her, if you can remember.”

“Ninety Eight, we need to talk,” said Sonny.

“Don't you want to reproduce with me?”

“Um … I uh … well ...”

Sonny slipped into a semi-catatonic state. While his other brain was laughing his ass off, the brain inside his skull curled up into a ball in a dark corner, and decided to stay there forever. Or at least until lunch time.


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