Horoscopes For The Recently Deceased

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

originally published here and then later in The Alarmist, I hope to include this in my next book.

Aries:  Your death my not be final.  Someone unforeseen may be working on your behalf.  Look for a sign.

Taures:  The funeral was a success.  Your final wishes are being heeded.  Be at rest.

Gemini:  Contact with the living is vital.  You may find spirits to guide you.  Reach out.

Cancer:  Your loved ones are confused.  A seance may be needed.  Answer their call.

Leo:  All your projects are finished.  Start nothing new.  Your purpose is in the afterlife.

Virgo:  You're not responsible for the living.  Leave them to their mistakes.  Be content.

Libra:  Your death may not have been an accident.  Consult your fellow spirits.  Don't leave this to chance.

Scorpio:  Someone wants to contact you.  Issues may be unresolved.  Keep your channels open.

Sagittarius:  Your body will soon be found.  Don't allow your soul to wander.  Things aren't as bad as they seem.

Capricorn:  Your energy level is low.  Starting something new may lead to disappointment.  Your death may be a blessing.

Aquarius:  Your fate is not decided.  Eternity hangs in the balance.  Be careful what you wish for.

Pisces:  You are greatly missed.  You have caused sorrow for loved ones left behind.  Expect visitors.


Submitted: July 31, 2015

© Copyright 2020 brucek. All rights reserved.

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Comments

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Mike Stevens

Bruce, the line 'Your death may be a blessing' jumps out from the page and slaps me upside the head, as does 'your death may not be final', and 'your body may soon be found'!

Fri, July 31st, 2015 5:19am

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well don't think about death too much. I'm sure your body will be found sooner or later.

Fri, July 31st, 2015 9:29am

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B Douglas Slack

Interesting concept here, Chris. I would have never thought of this. ~Tom

Fri, July 31st, 2015 1:23pm

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er...Chris?

Fri, July 31st, 2015 9:29am

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B Douglas Slack

I have NO idea where 'Chris' came from, Bruce. Sorry about that. Maybe I'm channeling someone else.

Fri, July 31st, 2015 1:23pm

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Chris was that other dead guy. No worries Bob.

Fri, July 31st, 2015 9:30am

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Insane Membrane

This is your best piece yet ... Great idea ,very amusing Bruce

Fri, July 31st, 2015 4:00pm

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Reply

Thank you, thank you! I thought this would tickle you.

Fri, July 31st, 2015 9:32am

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Karim Jessa

You come highly recommended. I came... only to find myself dead --- killed by your humor. This is why I never read horoscopes.

Sat, August 15th, 2015 5:41pm

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I do? What a lot of smart people there are on Booksie! Sorry I killed you. Just one of the risks you take reading my stuff.

Sat, August 15th, 2015 11:29pm

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