I thought I saw a bug

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A therapy session goes awry.

Submitted: June 25, 2014

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Submitted: June 25, 2014

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A patient sits in a chair just opposite the desk of his psychiatrist, who is taking notes. She pauses to think and lays down her pencil.

BANG! The patient reaches out and smashes his hand down on her desk.

Psychiatrist: Would you stop that!

Patient: I thought I saw a bug.

Psychiatrist: That's the third pencil of mine you've broken this week!

Patient: Come on, don't be so upset. You're my psychiatrist, you're supposed to be patient with me.

Psychiatrist: I'm sorry. I just can't understand why you keep doing that.

Patient: Why do you have bugs in your office?

Psychiatrist: There aren't any bugs in here.

Patient: That's because I keep killing them.

Psychiatrist: Okay...so you think you see bugs?

Patient: Not anymore. I've killed them all.

With a shaking hand, the psychiatrist slowly opens the drawer of her desk and removes another pencil.

Patient: Oh good, you have another one.

Psychiatrist: Yes. (The psychiatrist takes a steadying breath) Perhaps we should talk about your childhood again.

Patient: There's really nothing to talk about. There aren't any snakes in here, are there?

Psychiatrist: Do you think there are snakes?

Patient: There could be. There were bugs.

The psychiatrist's phone vibrates, and after checking the display, she places it down on her desk.

Patient: Did you hear something, just now?

Psychiatrist: That was my phone.

Patient: No, I don't think so.

Psychiatrist: Believe me, it was only my phone.

BANG! The patient leaps up and slams his hand down on her desk again.

Patient: Got it!

Psychiatrist: What!?

Patient: Rattle snake.

Psychiatrist: You just broke my phone!

Patient: Sorry about that. A rattle snake bite is very serious.

Psychiatrist: This has got to stop. I just got that phone!

Patient: At least I killed the snake.

Psychiatrist: WHAT SNAKE!?

Patient: It was right there on your desk, next to all of the lizards.

Psychiatrist: Lizards?

Patient: Oh yes. Don't worry though, I like them. I wouldn't hurt your lizards. They eat the bugs.

Psychiatrist: You can go now.

Patient: But my hour isn't up!

Psychiatrist: Trust me, it's over.


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