Sariety of Vpoonerisms

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A variety of spoonerisms with the slip of the tongue :P

Submitted: August 27, 2010

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Submitted: August 27, 2010



A student was told "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain" (intending to say "You missed all my history lectures," "lighting a fire," "wasted two terms," and "down train," respectively). He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter of course," when he meant to say, "You'll soon be mad as a Hatter of course." Others include, "Let us raise our glasses to the queer old Dean," ("dear old queen"), "We'll have the hags flung out," ("flags hung out"), "a half-warmed fish," ("half-formed wish"), "Is the bean dizzy?" ("dean busy'), "Go and shake a tower," ("take a shower") and "a well-boiled icicle." ("well-oiled bicycle"). He supposedly began a speech to a school of girls sitting on hard seats by saying: "What am I to tell this audience of beery wenches?". (What am I to tell this audience of weary benches?") Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include "The Lord is a shoving leopard," (instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd"), "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," ("It is customary to kiss the bride") and "Mardon me, padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?" (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?")"Flutter by" is an oft-cited example of a spoonerism that has not lost its original meaning.

A true story the famous Dr. Spooner found himself in quite a situation when he was invited to a very formal occasion in England an occasion at which it was necessary for people to appear in pairs, whether they happened to be husband and wife, significant other, or whatever. And as luck would have it, at the last minute, Mrs. Spooner felt ill, wasn't able to go, and Dr. Spooner hurriedly raced around and found someone else to go with him. As he greeted his hostess, he said (and in his so popular way of fouling up the language) came up with this particular Spoonerism. Instead of saying "Oh good evening, Mrs. Wellsley. I'm so pleased to be here. And you will be pleased to know that I have, due to the illness of my wife, produced a substitute", he said: "You will be so pleased to learn that because of my wife's illness, I have managed to seduce a prostitute."

Spist of Loonerisms...Oops I mean List of Spoonerisms

1.Bater Wottle – Water bottle

2.Right Facism – Fight Racism

3.Sparking Pace – Parking Space

4.Chilled Greese – Grilled Cheese

5.Joking Smacket – smockingJacket

6.Teepy Slime – Sleepy time

7.West Bestern – Best Western

8.A blushing crow – crushing blow

9.Tease my ears - Ease my tears

10.A lack of pies (A pack of lies

11.It's roaring with pain- It's pouring with rain

12.Wave the sails - Save the whales

13.leed of spight - speed of light

14.slow and sneet - snow and sleet

15.Drain Bamage – Brain damage

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