the end at the end of the road

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

the ending of a series of humor skits written by brucek and zin dar

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To make sense of anything in this skit, the reader is strongly encouraged to read, in order

1. A curve in the road ahead, by Brucek

2. A curve in the script ahead, by Zin Dar

3. Rose at the side of the road, by Brucek

4. Cat at the side of the road, by Zin Dar

Zin Dar enters his own skit to help Kecurb escape, thinking that he would be able to exit along with him. However something goes awry and just like that he finds himself stuck. He asks Brucek for help and suddenly a wild chair appears.

Zin Dar: Hey! This is the best you can do? A wicker rocking chair?

Chair: Dude! I'm not a rocking chair. I'm a ROCKIN' CHAIR!! Like Rock and Roll man! I'm talkin' about music, dude! You know, Zeppelin? The Stones?............The Beatles?

Zin Dar: Fuck! This is supposed to help me?

Chair: Be cool man! Bruce sent me to help you. He wants me to give you a little tour and then take you to the end of the road.

Zin Dar: Oh, that sounds all right. Then I can get out of here?

Chair: Sure man! But first you need to get a little more mellow. You're freaking me out. HEY BRUCE! CAN YOU SEND ME MARY JANE?! (A crude, three inch long home rolled appears in the arm of the chair) Hey, can you light me up?

Zin Dar: That's not marihuana, is it?

Chair: Dude! It's for medicinal purposes only! Hey, if you don't have a light, I can probably get Bruce to.........

Zin Dar: No, I've got a lighter, but you know I don't smoke that shit.

Chair: Shshshshshsh. You'll hurt her feelings man. (Zin Dar flicks his lighter) You're going to have to hold it up to my wicker, man. Ya see, I can't move my arms.

Zin Dar: Sorry. (Zin Dar holds the joint up to the chair as he starts to light it)

Mary Jane: Aeeeeeeha!! Ahhhhch! Aeeeeah!! Stop!! (Zin Dar jumps a foot into the air and then furiously starts to flick off the lit end off the joint)

Zin Dar: YOU MEAN IT'S ALIVE!!?

Mary Jane: You're God damn right I'm alive. Gaaaaah! That hurts! Chair! Why do you always try to do that!? You don't see me going around trying to set you on fire, do you?

Chair: (sighs) Aww man, I'm sorry. It's just been so long since I've had any.

Mary Jane: Come on! You get high so much I'm surprised you're not floating off into the atmosphere.

Chair: I'm a Rocker!

Mary Jane: You're a Pot Head!

Zin Dar: OK...........Let's argue about this later. What did you mean earlier about giving me a tour?

Chair: Well, Bruce heard you were a little on the philosophical side so he wanted me to show you how cool this world is before we go to the end of the road.

Zin Dar: Cool?

Chair: Yeah man. Heavy.

Mary Jane: He's from the sixties. I'll be happy to interpret for you if you want.

Zin Dar: No, I've got it. OK.............so..............what do I do?

Chair: Dude! What do you think you do with a chair. You sit on me!

Zin Dar: I don't want to sit on you.

Chair: Man, just park you ass on here and we can slide on down the road.

Zin Dar: Are you sure?

Chair: I've never seen a nicer set of buns! Go ahead and sit. Then we ride! (Zin Dar settles himself into the chair) This will take a little while. Might as well relax. Want me to rock for you?

Zin Dar: Sure.

Chair: There's a lady who's sure

All that glitters is gold

And she's buying a stairway to heaven

And when.........

Mary Jane:OKaaaaay! So, what part of the world are you from? I noticed a little bit of an accent.

Zin Dar: I'm from Norway.

Chair: Hey! I was still in the intro man!

Mary Jane: Why don't you try humming to yourself.

Chair: You just interupted one of the greatest rock songs ever made!

Mary Jane: No, I interupted you trying to sing one of the greatest rock songs ever made, there's a big difference.

Zin Dar: Guys! I'm having a really bad day. Can we just get to where we're going?

Chair: You got a problem with me talking to the man?

Mary Jane: Please do.

Chair: I've got a question for you guy, who do you think kicked ass the most at Woodstock, Richie Havens doing "Freedom", or Santana doing "Soul Sacrifice"? I was at Woodstock ya know.

Mary Jane: He was on the front porch of an old lady's house three blocks away.

Chair: I could still hear all the music.

Zin Dar: uh.......that was before my time.

Chair: Well, which song did you like better?

Zin Dar: Richie who?

Chair: Havens, man, Havens!! What kind of music are you into?

Zin Dar: I like all kinds of music! I just don't know any of those oldies.

Chair: Oldies?!

Mary Jane: It's time you started to face the facts, Chair.

Chair: I ain't facing shit! That was great music.

Zin Dar: What in the hell is that?

Zin Dar points up to the sky ahead. Everywhere he looks are more roads, some near to the ground, some far, far away, some on an angle, some intersecting the road that they're on. Thousands of them.

Chair: That, my friend, is the way Brucek imagines everyone's creativity...........It's a lot better if you're stoned.

Zin Dar: What, everyone has one?

Chair: Everyone creative enough does. See, we're all on our own creative journey man, with our own places and characters and scenery. Isn't it cool?

Zin Dar: It's amazing! Do I have one?

Chair: I don't know man, do you?

Zin Dar: I hope so.

Chair: And right up around this next curve is the end of the road...........................................Hey Sign!

Sigh: Hey Chair!

Chair: He sure does get around.

Chair and Zin Dar slide on down the road and around the curve. A few hundred feet off to the left of the road is a large beat up looking brick building. As they approach the entrance Zin Dar is able to read the sign above the door. It reads "End of the Road".

Zin Dar: The "End of the Road" is a bar?

Chair: Not just a bar. This is Brucek's place. It's where all of his characters hangout after he's created them. Come on man, let's go get a drink.

Zin Dar and Chair enter the bar. The place is busy and loud, with all sorts of interesting people and creatures walking about and laughing. And drinking. The bar is long and narrow, and runs the length of the room to the right. To the left is a large open entryway to another long narrow room, with many chairs and tables set up facing a stage where a rock band is setting up it's equipment.

Chair: Hey Bruce! Guess who finally made it dude!

Brucek: Is this Zin Dar!? Hey! It's really great to meet you! I was wondering when you would show up.

Zin Dar: Wow! Brucek in the flesh. (looks around) You have a bar in your own skit? This is a nice place. And you're the bartender. Cool! All right, all right..........um.........I'll have whatever comes in a large glass and tastes like beer.

Brucek: You got it! (starts to pour his beer) Yeah, I was able to make some arrangements for BOOKSIE to go offline for a few hours. Everybody said they wanted to be here.

Chair: Excuse me guys, I just need to go talk to my man for a minute. (Chair slides over to Merlin and transacts some business in a shadowy corner)

Zin Dar: Well, what's going on?

Brucek: We're celebrating the end of the skit! Thought we might as well go out with a bang! You should recognize a lot of these guys. Line's over in the corner curled up on the floor. I'm afraid he got started a little too early...........Kecurb and Rose you already know.

Kecurb: Glad you could make it Zin Dar.

Zin Dar: Thanks!

Brucek: They've been talking a few things through, getting to know each other better.

Zin Dar: Well, that's good.

Brucek: And Sign and Roll are in the other room shooting pool. We even have a CCR cover band that will be starting in a few minutes. You'll like them. They're good.

Kecurb: You know, I've been thinking about that Bruce. You're the creator of this skit. You have the power to do whatever you want. Why not have the real thing? I would love to see Creedence live.

Brucek: You think I should?

Kecurb: What the hell!

Brucek: You're right, what the hell!

Brucek reaches to a shelf below the bar and brings out a large spiral bound notebook. He takes a pencil out of a glass jar on the counter and starts to erase a few lines of the skit. At the same moment four distinct pops can be heard from the direction of the stage. Brucek then writes new lines into the erased space and a different band appears.

Kecurb: Creedence Clearwater Revival. Holy shit. You did it.

Brucek: Circa 1970, I hope.

An electric buzz flows through the bar, from the stage back to the farthest corners. Conversations stop in mid sentance as recognition begins to dawn. Finally, someone is able to push the words past the lump in their throat and say, "That's John Fogerty!". When the electricity reaches Zin Dar a tingling feeling crawls up and down his spine. From the frozen, rapt attention of every single person and character he realizes that something very special is about to happen and he's going to be a part of it. With simple, practiced motions of John Fogerty's hands he begins to play. And Zin Dar instantly recognizes the song.

Zin Dar: Is this really CCR?

Brucek: Sure is.

When he begins to play something magical happens. Toes start to tap all on their own. Goofy smiles light up faces everywhere. A few eyes begin to tear. And this is what they hear.

-

Left a good job in the city,

Workin' for The Man every night and day,

Bet I never lost one minute of sleepin',

Worryin' 'bout the way things might have been.

-

Big wheels keep on turnin'

Proud Mary keep on burnin'

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river..........

-

And no one can think of a time they felt so good.

Zin Dar: This is so cool! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!! DAMN!!

All Bruce can do is smile.

The End


Submitted: August 09, 2011

© Copyright 2021 brucek. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

springsun

Woah...! Awesome ending, Bruce! :3
Bringing everyone back in a super-nice bar is just the perfect way of ending this superb series... I'll miss reading it, though... :(
I honestly don't have words to describe this. I'm utterly stunned. And a little bit sad. But you made me smile, regardless of the fact this is in fact the end.

Describing your (and everyone else's) creativity as roads was just ingenious! What better way of description can ever be found?

*Button clicked*

Tue, August 9th, 2011 7:39pm

Author
Reply

all good things have to come to an end sometime. i'm you enjoyed it as much as you did. thanks.

Tue, August 9th, 2011 12:52pm

Zin Dar

Awww... It's the end...
*crying*

SO THEY are the ones who made "Have you ever seen the rain?" I just found it on youtube as you mentioned it in the skit. I've heard that song before, and of course liked it. I'll be honest to say that I haven't heard "Proud Mary" before, but I'm listening to it now ^^
You hit it somewhat good... I do listen to most types of music, it all depends on the song, all though my favourite is plain music (and sometimes 80's rock).

Hmm... I found an error somewhere in here, which I ignored at the time, but can't find back... What the hell :-P
Very good work that you DIDN'T interpret the roads things FOR me, because I always like to make up my own mind :-P You hit the spot on that one. Creativity was certainly well pictured in roads ^^ But that makes me wonder, did we actually get to the end of the road of creativity? Did we hit the dead end? Does the road continue AFTER the bar, or is the extra creativity added to the start of the road? Or how is the "end of the road" moved around this (both literally and metaphorically).
I really liked your way of doing this, it was certainly a good ending, but it was sad :-( I'll miss these pieces. They were so good.

"I'll have whatever comes in a large glass and tastes like beer." Funny enough, that could actually have been something I could say. That is sort of a comment I could tell someone, all though I wouldn't drink just "any" beer... I like it with strong malt flavour, without too much fanciness ^^

Also: Sort of funny that you added the detail with where I'm from, kind of cool.

Very funny chair, cool that you brought the sign back up, all though I almost wished you would bring the line up too, but what the hell :-D

Genius that the smoke could talk to, OF COURSE IT HAD TO! Ironic that Mary Jane calls the CHAIR a pot head huh?
You always put in great work to your characters and you did so once again.

This wasn't your most funny and it wasn't the BEST story line in the series, but it certainly was the BEST part, due its well written ending. It also display how much greatness you can put into characters, EVEN me!
"I like it" clicked, and I hope everyone else reading the skit will enjoy it too.
I hope to see you soon Bruce.
Farewell, I'll miss you.
(pop!)

Tue, August 9th, 2011 7:57pm

Author
Reply

thought i'd better hurry up and end it before i ran out of ideas. yeah kind of sad that it had to end, but i thought it at least ended strong and that was what i was hoping for. this whole this was a blast man. thanks tons!

Tue, August 9th, 2011 1:09pm

Mike Stevens

This is Officer Friendly of the Literary Police. We've been keeping on eye on Booksie, concerning stories that condone heavy drug use, and your story is the poster-child of the kind of story's we're looking for. Kids read this kind of trash, and, at first, they start out with light reading, but soon they graduate to heavy reading, and finally then to hardcore reading. I'm obliged to report this, unless you share your writing with me. Excuse me. "What? Oh really? Thanks." Ah, I've just been informed that you already share your writing with whomever wants it. So I guess I'll let you 2 off with a warning, this time. But rest assured, we'll be watching you 2 like a hawk, so you'd better not step out of line!

Nice finish, Bruce!

Tue, August 9th, 2011 9:05pm

Author
Reply

that just happened to be the funniest comment i've ever recieved. good stuff! i'll bet you're sitting in a wicker rocking chair!

Tue, August 9th, 2011 7:34pm

ToniTaylor

No. No. No. No! You can't just end your skit like that! The ending was great, but that's not the point.
I'm really going to miss the skit. It was so good, brilliant, and funny.

Tue, August 9th, 2011 11:16pm

Author
Reply

well give some ideas for some other things to write and i'll try my best, but i'm all pooped out on this one. when i start to feel nervous about writing something instead of excited (because of the pressure of trying to be freshly creative instead or funny) then it's time to call it quits. if you want to participate in writing something unique and interesting with me (just like i just did with Zin Dar) i would concider it. come up with an idea and bounce it off of me. i'm open. i am glad you liked these skits. thanks for encouraging me onward.

Tue, August 9th, 2011 7:44pm

VampireCigk

that was a very good and totally awsome ending bruce!!! :D i loved the entir script!!!

Wed, August 10th, 2011 2:34am

Author
Reply

thanks. it was a lot of fun to write. i'm glad i could bring laughter to so many people.

Tue, August 9th, 2011 7:46pm

AemmaBella

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! Why?!?!????!!?!?!? *cries* it was supposed to last longer why did you end it so soon?!?! Oh poo! I really liked this series :( you have the perfect ending but why now!?!? *sniffle* oh well it was fun while it lasted. You guys did a great job though!
~Belle

Wed, August 10th, 2011 5:36am

Author
Reply

i can't believe i'm causing so much grief! i'm sorry everyone! i didn't want it to slowly get worse and worse and so disappoint myself and everyone else. so what do i do? i disappoint everyone. i'm sorry.

Wed, August 10th, 2011 7:17am

BooksRule

Fantastic ending to a fantastic series ^^ Sorry it took me so long to get to it ... had a major disaster involving corrupt files. Trust me to forget to back up -.-

Gonna miss reading this, but you did a wonderful job here! Happy to see sign back too, and I've no idea how you come up with the characters you do xD

Fri, August 12th, 2011 11:26pm

Author
Reply

i have no idea either. it's the dialogue that i love so i have to have somebody say the words. seems only fair. after all. right? glad you liked it, i know i'm enjoying your work.

Fri, August 12th, 2011 6:23pm

SultryCharli

You are such an inspiration...laughing all over the place too late to clean it up!
Thank you
Charli

Thu, November 24th, 2011 7:50am

Author
Reply

you either work nights or you never sleep (i work nights, so i'm supposed to be up right now, it's my day off!) as far as that piece, boy oh boy, i thought i was writing something good and instead they were all angry at me because i was ending it. i don't know if your opinion of the old tv show MASH is the same as mine, but i've always thought that they let it go on way too long. i was just trying to quit while i was ahead. i was afraid my creative juices would dry up. glad you liked it. CCR was one of my all time favorite bands. i'd give a very valuable piece of my anatomy to have a chance to see them live. they broke up years ago, so i'm glad i never cut anything off.

Thu, November 24th, 2011 12:04am

Wilbur

Well, Bruce, I just gave Zin Dar hell for the rose rock and condom and outhouse real little boy-man humor stuck that frankly leaves me OUT, and then I read the comment above mine, and Xin Dar said it was you - and - anyway, I'll go back and make my apologies. And on the whole this has certainly been an - introduction? Eyeopener? wonderful when it's the zany stuff you do so well. Zin Dar, too, though I only read his part of this series. So far.
Now I go to conquer (no, I doubt that very seriously) - I go to check out your latest and newest. With high hopes. Straight high hopes, though in my life I have known ... yes, well.
Many regards, Connie

Wed, February 15th, 2012 2:38am

Author
Reply

well, i thought i did the second one tastefully, even though it was racier than the other two. there was quite a lot of pressure for me to continue the series, and i was grasping at straws creatively. there's only so much up there that i can pull out, so eventually i resorted to "potty humor". once again, i'm sorry if i offended. i tried to make it all in good fun.

Wed, February 15th, 2012 8:10am

Lacy Cornwall

This is so fun, Bruce. I love your humor. Check your email for what I have so far.

Fri, December 14th, 2012 1:12am

Author
Reply

thank you lacy! hey, i thought teri was reading this! what's up with that? what, are you two room mates or something? glad you liked it though!

Thu, December 13th, 2012 6:38pm

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