The Meeting of the Vegetable Bosses

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

something must be done about the tomato problem.

I think most of you know who I am.  However, due to some changes in territory, there are new bosses running things that might not be so familiar.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Thomas Ato, Tom to my friends, and I control the vegetable business here in Chicago.  Not all of Chicago gentlemen, but I'm working on that (ha ha!)

I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice.  The reason I've called you here today is to discuss a trend in the tomato side of our business I find very disturbing.  I think I can safely say anything bad for business is bad for all of us.  Am I right?  I'm sure you realize I'm talking about the recent increase in violence, especially against the tomatoes.  Now, I'm not singling out any one person here.  I think we all have a share in the blame.

The reports I've received have gotten worse every day.  A week ago in Detroit, three tomatoes were found peeled and sliced in the street.  Out in Cleveland, one was found behind a dumpster completely stewed.  Even here in Chicago, a tomato was found in a hotel room diced with chipotle chilies.

But what disturbs me the most are the recent events in New York.  I'm sure you've all heard about the fire roasting.  And then this morning I read in the paper:  Tomatoes Crushed in Madison Square Garden.  It says here one was crushed with basil, and another with Italian herbs.  Gentlemen, if there's one thing I know, it's we have to keep the Italians out of our vegetables, especially the tomatoes!

Believe me, it's getting bad out there.  Instead of a tomato coming home from work and spending time with his wife and family, he's going to a bar and getting sauced.  And who can blame him?

This cannot go on.

So, are we in agreement?  Yes?  Good.  Alright, now let's go sell some vegetables!

Submitted: November 23, 2013

© Copyright 2023 brucek. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:


Mike Stevens

I say funny, you say fewny, but no matter how you slice it, its a great write!

Sat, November 23rd, 2013 3:17pm


just don't slice my tomato.

Sat, November 23rd, 2013 7:53am


???? I'm not sure but I think I probably am doing something wrong. I'm so confused!

Sun, November 24th, 2013 5:43pm


the underworld vegetable bosses think the recent violence is bad for business. can't let the italians muscle in on the tomato racket. maybe thomas will make them an offer they can't refuse. that's thomas (tom)ato. wink wink.

Sun, November 24th, 2013 1:40pm

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