VICTIM OF PATRIOTISIM

Reads: 28  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
I AM A PATRIOT BUT I BECAME A VICTIM OF PATRIOTISM WHEN I PURCHASED A PRODUCT THAT TURNED OUT TO BE NASTY.....

Submitted: July 27, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 27, 2012

A A A

A A A


 I believe in proactive solutions. I don’t just sit on TV complaining about how tired i am of the sausage, i go out and be the change, you know? Betta recognize.
One of the things i do is i buy Ugandan-made products wherever possible. It is all in the spirit of supporting local industry.
Last evening I became a casualty of patriotism, however, when I bought a locally- made processed juice product. It was a hot evening, I was tired, my throat was parched and my soul which is so in love with Uganda longed to see her industrial development.
So I got into the shop, picked up a bottle of something orange and Ugandan bought it and took a sip.
It didn’t suck, not at first. At... first it was refreshing and sweet and my soul sang the first two bars of our national anthem, [THANKS TO THE LATE KAKOMA[R.I.P]]. But then, right on the heels of the sugar came something else. Something hot and slimy and sticky in the sticky way that stuck to the roof of my mouth for the next few hours.
Eugh.!
I would have spat, except that I was on the streets OF KAMPALA and patriots don’t spit on the street. That’s you lot who do such things.
The aftertaste was something I am, unfortunately, not entirely unfamiliar with:
Armpit, people. It tasted like armpits.
Now, when I got home and announced this to my sister and brother about my findings concerning this juice, they asked me questions. Not the questions I expected. I thought I would be asked things like, “How then shall we improve Uganda’s production if when we make juice it tastes like underarms? Let us brainstorm and find solutions!”
Instead I was asked how I came to know what armpits taste like.
As if it’s not obvious.
Only Rasta men don’t know what armpits taste like. Or very rich people who have their hair cut by hygienic barbers. The rest of us (especially the patriots) get our hair cut by the common man and, the common man does tend to have more pressing issues on his mind than deodorizing. So when he is going about his business, reaching to cut the lower left of my head, for example, his armpit will find itself close enough to my face for my taste buds to pick up the fumes.
And the fool I was I opened my mouth to say, “Common man, please don’t lean over. Twist the chair around instead.” In doing so, I inhaled some of the air.
That is how I know what armpits taste like. And they are what that juice tastes like. Now that we have that out of the way, can we discuss about improving Ugandan products?


© Copyright 2017 bryan jonan. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More True Confessions Articles

Booksie 2017-2018 Short Story Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by bryan jonan

life's blessing

Article / Romance

past non fading memories

Article / Fantasy

pearl mighty adventures

Article / True Confessions

Popular Tags