when we meet i was blind...Part. 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
(the summary is a poem..)

She’s trapped in her corner
all alone again
thinking if she’s prettier than her,
what does she have on her?
She’s lonely though he’s right in front of her
he’s saying “wait for me”
she’s saying “ok”
but in her mind she wants to say
“Why should I wait for u....u love don’t me don’t you?
U should want to be with me no matter what if u love me”
but she’s to afraid he wont love her anymore.
So what to do now
sit here and wait for a white flag to go up?
I know She doesn’t want to
her Name is Delfina
and she’s always hurting from her mistakes..................

Submitted: February 28, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 28, 2007



Hi.....im Chante'

and I guess im writing in here Because I have no other way to get my feelings out. I am 15 years old and as of right now I am in love with a boy named Anthony Henderson. They call him Aj...... I call him mi amante...because he is my lover and my love. I don’t want anyone else but him in the whole world...and if I ever would try to fight my feelings for the boy..man... then its just me being stupid because I know how much I care about this person in my life. I love him with all my heart...no matter what he does to it. He could drop it and break it...put it back together again...and I wouldn’t care because I love him...but yea to start my story..........

We met in my first period class my freshman year of high school. It was Spanish 1, and he was wearing his football uniform. With the number 56 on front and back.He was the first football player I saw from San G. And I thought he was cute the first time I saw him. But I thought he was too old for me. How stupid was I right?

But Ne-ways, he had a girlfriend, and I wasn’t interested that much. I didn’t believe in love last year until track season...but im going too far. Well one day in class my teacher Ms. Bowman moved all of us around. Aj ended up sitting right next to me up in the front row. We would start talking to each other like friends. He was funny and had a cute smile. And had a lot of manners. I never met a guy like him before. So many thoughts were roaming through my head. Do I really like him or is he just a friend type? I made myself think he was just a friend, all because he was a junior.

The next day, we started talking to each other like we were best friends, it was funny when he would get caught texting in class. I would forever not know his name so I would look on his paper and he would think I was cheating or something. He was like "is this class that hard for you?" I would say, "no, I just wanted to see your name." and that’s when I found out his name was Anthony. But I didn’t know his nickname was Aj till a month later. We would always look on each others paper to get answers...but we were smart, always helped each other out. Until tests...then we had a competition to see who could get the higher score. LOL right!

Well so far we were just friends and I had no idea that he liked me. Until we exchanged numbers, then we would always talked on the phone until 3 a.m. in the morning. For some reason I liked talking to him on the phone like that.

my thoughts were never directed towards him though....

One day Aj came to my house to bring me his I-pod. that was the first time he had ever came over.and thats when i found out that he liked me truely! Before he left, he stood by my doorstep.... and said" Chante, I really like you, i dont know why but i just really like you and care about you and ur just so different from these other girls."from what i remember. And then i shut him down becauseIwas scared. Scared that i was going to get into something i didn't want. But Oh My God! was i wrong. so i had a feeling he left my house that night feeling really bad.

over the next couple of weeks he would write to me in letters at school, Email's, and off of his brothers myspace to try and make me see that he was the right guy for me. Bought me roses one someone elses birthday....Gave me those looks u can't resist when he wants to tell you something but can't find the words to say. But I was Always trying to be with someone else, because i thought that was love. and i made a mistake. And i still make mistakes as i go with this guy that cares for me oh so much.

When all of this happend, i didnt realize that i liked Aj until track season was almost over. because i would always think about him when i was in class...or doing my homework....or just walking around during practice. even at home. But i didnt have the Guts to say anything, why??...i dont know except for how many times i have turned him down...i couldnt just all of the sudden be like" I want u Aj"....well not in that exact way but..close.

Going back a lil the beginning of track season we were't talking that much because i switch my classes so i could have 6th period weight lifting for track. and i started to miss him. but i didnt let it faise me. I was always rnning long distance and jumping...and track was so fun until my parents took me out.:-( well..Ne ways, it was getting to the end of the year, and come to find out my mom is sending me away to live with my dad in new mexico, because her new husband didn't like me. and that just made me pissed because i wanted to tell Aj that i liked him on the last day of school.

I had to move in with my sister out here until my dad came to get me. and i would always try and talk to him on the phone. Then, One day which was like three days before school was over i was on the phone with him. and i was tired and told him" im gonna go to sleep ill call you tomorrow or ill just see u later". and what suprised me was when he told me....

"i love you"

I wanted to say it back so bad! but i didnt know if i was ready for something like that because of past relationship that i dont wanna get into. So instead of saying something smart, i start to flip out.and he gets sad. and hangs up.


Well my dad came and got me three days later. and i left. my sister got me a cell phone and i would always try and call my friends almost everyday not caring how much the bill was. And the first person i called when i got over there..........was...Aj. and when i got there i realized that i was in love with this boy. and i wanted to be with him but i was so far away. but since i hurt him so much over this past year....now he's not ready to love, just like i was!

i was so mad and sad at the same time, That i cried myself to sleep that night in a place that didnt feel like home.i told myself everyday that i was a terrible person for hurting Aj. and i didnt deserve anything. sometimes i still think that way.

::to be continued::

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