Dear Timothy Verse 86:82

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Tim finds God

“Dear God”

By Rudy

Dear God,  I understand that you created the universe in seven days.  Now Im not going to question the logic there because you’re God and I’ m just little ol’ Tim.  But throw me a bone here.  How did you do it.  I’m thinking there are two possibilities.  Either one.  Your book is a gross misintepretation, although through no fault of your own given that it was written by “man” after you taught them the language that you know and they probably lost the dictionary you gave them because now we use the alphabets created by the romans I think, and I know how you feel about that bunch after what they did to your son. For all we know we’re only getting their side of the story.  Two, that you actually did create the universe in seven days and that I should believe you without evidence.  I went to church recently and I realised that they still hand that statue with Jesus on the cross.  You’d think they’d be more respectful of the man that died of our sins.  What those damn bastards Romans had hanged him.  They must have known somehow that some years down the road later that there would be men in white robes burning large crosses on the lawns of a certain ethnic groups.  It would have been less threatening to set a rope on fire outside your house.  It just doesn’t seem as threatening to me anyway.  You know people are starting to doubt you.  I have some questions that I would like to ask you if you don’t mind.  I don’t think that you’d mind, you’ve been awful quiet, you really are a great listener.  First, did you make a talking snake.  Why did you make him evil.  Why did you kick Lucifer out of heaven.  Why did he not want to stay in heaven.  I see you talking a lot about him in your book.  I don’t want to judge too quickly but I’d like to get his side of the story too.  Why did you not like fresh farm fruits and product, you know that caused a scuffufle among those two boys.  I don’t want to tell you how to do your job but really it seems like you’ve been kinda rela..

Tim.

That’s no way to pray.

I’m not praying I’m talking to God.

That’s no way to talk to God.

I’m just making conversation.

You can’t speak that way to him.

How do you speak to him.

I just get him to bless the people I love and to embrace his warm presence in my ife.

That sounds like an awful lot to ask for someone you don’t really have a conversation with, you should get to know him a little better, like what I’m doing.

Just say your prayers and get to bed.

Fine.

Sorry about that, she can be kind of naggy, but I deal with it, you know sometimes its nice to have people around you so that you don’t feel too lonely.  I don’t know if you have anyone up there with you.  I know you have us and that’s a full time job in itself, but you don’t really manage us do you, you just kind of let us do what we want when we want.  Why is that.  Do you not think we can be better managed?  Also do you think you would ever plan to being the universe together, you know they’re still trying to build spaceships and such.  That costs like trillions of dollars that we can use for missionary stuff to spread your word.  If you could give them a hand I think that it really would be a win win situation here.  Just something to think about I guess.  Anyway back to what I was saying , I really do hope you have someone up there with you, I know there are angels and stuff but really I’d like to see you have someone like a Mrs God.  I’m not sure how many Gods there are in the universe,  is there a community of you?  Im just wondering if maybe there isnt a community or that something happened to that community that you turned to creating people.

Tim.

Im still talki.. praying.

You’re not praying.

You don’t know that.

No one prays that long.

Someone who truly cares does.  Theres no time limit to praying.  You don’t set the regulations for prayer duration time.  I can pray all I want.  I can be the monk of a church but instead of meditating for days, I’d just pray for days.

Fine.  Just hurry up and finish it, said Martha giving up on reasoning with Tim.

Anyway as I was saying before I was rudely interuppted.  Was there a community of you?  Or did you get shunned by the community, I mean facts are facts here, you send people who don’t believe you to eternal hell, you had an affair with a married woman, you then told your son he is the king of some people that don’t really know who he is, then when those people gets ticked off and put him on the cross, you then claim that he died for everyones sins.  I mean I’m just saying you sound a little kinda like someone who got shunned from their community.  See what I mean about letting the romans use the language they created on your book.  Gross gross misinterpretations, im sure im not even hearing your side of the story anymore.  But I could be wrong, it’s the god damned internet that spreading this, their words not mine.  You know my friend Bob thinks that you don’t even exist.  If you didn’t exist it would be like as if I was talking to my self right now. Wouldn’t that be craz..

TIM!

Amen.

 


Submitted: July 08, 2014

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