Decay (A Pitiful Man)

Reads: 365  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A troubled relationship, ends in a brutal way.

Can you figure out who died and why?
This is sort of a snare to gather comments and I'm curious to see if any one can.

Decay (A Pitiful Man)

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Filthy maggots worm their way inside,

Devouring away the bruised flesh.

Consuming evidence of a foul demise,

Of a mere two weeks fresh.


Tossed to rot in a vacant alley way,

Alone I shall decompose.

There is nothing you could possibly say,

Into the ground our love corrodes.

See those vulgar marks on my wrists,

Those are stains of the devil’s hands,

Your torturous destruction persists,

Nothing, but remnants of a pitiful man.



Submitted: November 19, 2010

© Copyright 2020 BulletofCorruption . All rights reserved.

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mytruepower2

I actually liked this one quite a bit, because it sounds like the beginning of an epic story, or a legend of some kind. There's a flavor to it of grief and tragedy, in an almost Oedipus sense, and yet, that's never how the legend ends.

Still, I hesitate to say that it feels incomplete, because it's the kind of poem that others could derive story ideas from, and to give birth to further art is one of the higher achievements of poetry. It feels like there should be something else here, but at the moment, I can't say what. A-

Tue, December 7th, 2010 8:22am

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Wow, thanks! I didn't not see this to be worthy of an A, seeing as though I scribbled it down on the back of my history homework. Which my history teacher than thought that I was a tad bit troubled, but then again I suppose we all are.
Thanks >;)

Tue, December 7th, 2010 5:23am