Our Love Is His Sacrifice.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Harmonee was an average sixteen year old girl. But if you take out the average and add in her secret relationship with her best friends boyfriend, how else will it turn out? Faced with a sucide and constant guilt, how will Harmonee face the issues yet to come? (This was my short story entry for a certain contest).

Submitted: April 30, 2011

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Submitted: April 30, 2011

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My fingers interlocked with his. Leaning against his muscular chest, my head moved, slowly, up and down with every breath he took. I could smell him so distinctly; the smell of Axe. Oh how he knew that smell was my favorite, how he knew I couldn’t keep away when he wore that “Essence” aroma.


I looked up to him. He looked so peaceful with his sapphire eyes glistening in the sun’s rays, and his gorgeous black hair dancing swiftly to the wind’s call. Did he know how utterly breathtaking he was? This was almost perfect; sitting here with him, all alone, with no one to possibly interrupt.


His eyes began surveying my face. I wondered if he could tell how happy I was; if he could see the grin starting to form on my lips. Wind blew all around us, but never seemed to even, at the least, skim over our skins. His hand moved. It caressed my hair with ease, as if he was afraid to touch me. Not in the sense of revulsion, though, but as if he were scared he might shatter me, like I was some elegant piece of glassware; strong, yet at times, fragile.


“I love you.” He exhaled toward me.


He loved me. That was the first time he’d ever said that to me. My eyes blossomed with dismay. I loved him, too. Yet, all of these months I had been sitting in the mirror, rehearsing how this would play along and he just threw it out there now? I could see his smile waning, as I debated over how I should reply back.


“I love you, too, Adric.” I replied. I squeezed his hand, easing the thoughts in my head, that this couldn’t really be reality, but it was real. It was too real, and strangely enough, it was better than any moment I had ever imagined of us together.


Relief passed over his eyes. He leaned down to kiss me and as our lips touched, my body tingled as it always had when we kissed. It wasn’t just a quick peck or a kiss where “sparks flew”, but this was unnatural. My whole body shot with an explosion of electric that I never knew was possible for a mortal human to experience before. It sunk deep into my skin and I could feel my heart beat insanely in patterns that were beyond random. It was almost like the heart in my chest grew a pair of wings and lifted upwards; although when it realized it couldn’t get out, it began a hectic path of craze all inside my chest, as if all it wanted to do was burst of passion.


“Harmonee,” he turned his head to look around the area, in which we were sitting. Our wonderful kiss ended. Now, I started to follow the direction of his eyes. We were in an alley. Garbage cans and trash littered around us. I suppose we never realized the horror of the place until we actually stopped looking, or thinking of each other. Adric started to grow uneasy, “This,” his hand gestured in a circular motion, “it’s hard to do, and you know this right?”


My once slight feeling of despair grew when I realized he spoke of our secluded meeting places. “You’re right,” I swallowed, “but what else is there to do? I don’t like sneaking behind her back either.” I began to well up with tears, at the mere mention of her. She was my best friend. Adric was her boyfriend, but his affection for her was nonexistent. He loved me. And doing this was torture upon my heart. I couldn’t lose him, because I cared so deeply for him, yet Paige was by best friend since 5th grade. I never knew how to handle such stressful situations, and one like this? Well it was just too much for me to handle.


“Hey,” his hand reached to my face when he realized I was about to break down crying, “You mean the world to me. I hate to see you cry, it breaks my heart into pieces when I see it.” Pulling his other hand away from the ground, he wiped away my tears that had rolled down my cheek. “I’ll figure this out, okay? You don’t have to do a thing.” Lifting my chin up, so my drooping eyes could connect with his, I shook my head solemnly.


He was amazing. He was riveting. He isn’t as bad as you might think. A cheater? No, not really. But more of he once had a crush on Paige, but as time grew on his love for her faded. I knew they wouldn’t last long. They had nothing in common at all, and the fact that Adric and I knew each other 4 years longer than him and Paige ever would, only puts us one step closer together.


I think she can tell now, though. How he just grows more distant of her, but I don’t want to see her suffer, as if he is disgusted with her, because he isn’t. Adric still loves her, but as a friend, only as a friend.


“We should start heading home,” He said looking down at his watch. It gleamed in the little light beaming down on us, and I could see it read 8:00 PM. It was getting darker out now, and he was right, I needed to get home before my parents did. If they caught me out, I’d be dead. Especially if they asked me where I had been, and, trust me, I suck terribly at telling lies. “Are you going to be okay, baby?” his hands reached toward mine as he held them tightly. Almost as if he were afraid he’d never see me again.


Trying to get myself more together, I replied, “Of course, I will. No need to worry about me.” Adric smiled his pearly whites my way and chuckled quietly. He pulled me up with his strong strength, and we began to walk home.


There was something spectacular about being with him. Even walking the dark mysterious streets, I felt safe, with my hand intact with his. We hadn’t spoken the whole walk home, but that was alright, because I enjoyed the silence. I loved him so much; it was unbearable to think about separating from him tonight.


“Promise me one thing,” Adric said as we edged to my front door.


“Anything,” I said almost too quickly.


He shuffled his feet on the ground. His loss for words, struck me with shock. Adric always knew what to say and how to say it. So why would he be scared now? “Promise me that no matter what happens, you and Paige will never let me being with you break down your two’s friendship. I know how much she means to you.” He cleared his throat; was there more to say?


“Adric, what’s the matter?” I put my hand upwards as I slide my hand from his neck down to his waist.


“Just. . . Just promise me Harmonee?”


“I promise.” And that was it. Adric turned away toward the dark. The street lights were dim, so my eyes struggled to keep track of his motion as he grew farther and farther away. I already missed him.

~ ~ ~


There was a call. It was late at night. My head was foggy, and throbbing to an unknown pain. Looking down to my cellphone I could see it was a number I had never once seen before. The big flashing numbers on my clock read 3:00 AM. Who would be calling so late?


“Hello?” I harshly spoke into the phone. I was upset someone had the nerve to call so late. But when the weeping voice came in upon my ear, I was thrown back with shock.


“H-Harmon-ee-,” the voice cried with exasperated breaths.


“Paige?!” I shot up out of my bed. I was scared now. Actually, I was terrified, and I knew Paige would never call me this late unless it was actually an emergency. “Paige, calm down hunny,” I whispered into the phone, trying to ease her down, even though my own conscious fears were shooting to all conclusions. Did she find out about me and Adric? Did he break up with her? Is she in trouble? WHAT’S WRONG?!


“Can… Can you come over?” She struggled to breath as hiccups set in. She was a mess.


“Of course, I’m on my way.” I got out of bed, and proceeded to get dressed. It didn’t take me long to throw on some sweat pants, and throw on a jacket over my layered tank tops. Soon I was out the door, grabbing my keeps to my Impala and speeding down the rainy roads.


I began racing through explanations in my mind that I could tell Paige about how sorry I was. How truly in love Adric and I really were. Or maybe how she deserves someone better. And to be honest, I didn’t know what to expect, I couldn’t even narrow the idea down. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I told myself I’d just have to face it when I get there. I’m sixteen, I can handle this right? I’m reasonable, mature, responsible, right? No one was there to answer, although I found myself slipping to thoughts of Adric. Of how we would be here to just bounce the words back into my face claiming I was all of them and more. He would kiss me and squeeze my hand, and my world would just melt around me to a place where it was only me and him. Forever together.


Pulling up I saw all the lights in the house were on. Paige was emancipated and lived on her own in an apartment. She must be terrified to be alone right now.


Rushing out, I was drenched in rainwater, while around me the sky lit up for split seconds every time lightning would strike or thunder would roll. Banging my fists on the door, my panic finally set in. I hadn’t realized how upset I was until I realized how much of an insane person I probably looked like to be screaming at a door in the pouring rain. Lights across the streets flipped on, as if it was row by row, light by light, and nosy little neighbors peaking their head through their lit up curtains.


The door was thrusted open, and before I realized it Paige was pulling me inside. She flaunted me about her house until she fell to her couch in the living room, weeping.


“Paige, what’s wrong? Why had you called me over?” I started into Paige’s hazel eyes. They were puffy and red now, and drenched in her tears. Her mascara was leaking all over her cheeks; she was a mess.


Turning around Paige reached for her wooden table stand and on top of it lay a long slender paper. She started to read to me through her loud sobs, “Ms. Router, We are sorry to inform you that on the date of Monday April 4th, 2011 your boyfriend has passed. Adric Renshaw was a victim to a personal suicide and was found at the time of 2:03 AM. You were the only relative family he had and now,” she cut off crying at the rest of the writing. Adric was dead? Suicide?


“No. No. No.” I started mumbling the words throughout the room. How as this possible? I had just seen him not even 6 hours ago. He said he loved me, and I loved him. Why the hell would he kill himself?


My knees began to wobble and my vision blurred; I was about to pass out. Paige was now distracted from her sorrow and looked to me in confusion. “Harmonee, I know you and him barely talked but you still don’t have to fake being upset.” She turned in disgust from the thought I would do such a thing.


Trembling, I fell to the ground. “Paige I’m sorry. So sorry—it’s my fault, all my fault. Sorry ,so sorry,” My world was officially falling apart as I slipped into a trance of only repeating the words “sorry” over and over again. I was probably going crazy by now, for all I know. And this was all my fault. My idiotic need to fall in love with Adric, my fault that I never told Paige earlier, my fault Adric killed himself.


Paige reached down to stroke my hair, nursing me out of the state I was in, “Harmonee, why are you sorry?” She sniffed; I think she knew what was wrong. I think she knew why I was freaking out; she just didn’t want to say it. And she hasn’t said it for these past few months, when she tried so hard to believe that Adric actually still loved her as a girlfriend. She sighed and let go of all of the lies she had been telling herself and looked me straight in the eyes. “ Harmonee, I know.”


“You know?” I gulped. How could she know? Was it all really that obvious?


“Adric left his phone here one night. And you sent him a text; I read through all of them.” She turned ashamed by herself. “At first I was mad, but then I realized Adric and I were never in love. Heck we never even kissed.” Feeling her lips, I could tell Paige was trying to imagine how it must have felt to have been kissed by him.


“Paige, it’s my fault Adric did this. I’m a terrible person aren’t I? I didn’t have the guts to tell you. So apparently I’d rather have my friend’s heart crushed and my love commit suicide all because of me.” My stomach churned at the reality of the words, because it was true. I never said it word by word before, but it’s the same isn’t it? The same idea that I wasn’t caring what happened to the others, as long as I was happy and they were there by my side. I’m a pathetic human being.


“Here.” Paige pulled out Adric’s book bag from behind her front door. “He left this here, and I found a letter in it.”


Reaching for the letter, I read it over Adric’s beautiful handwriting.


Harmonee,


My love and my life. If you have found this letter, then you must know Paige has read it also.


I looked up to Paige and she shook her head.


I had nothing to loose in my life, but you had everything. She isn’t mad, baby, I know she isn’t. We were always just friends. Harmonee, I love you. I love you for everything you are. So I made sure that I was never going to ruin the friendship Paige and you shared or the love you and I prolonged and held on to for so long. Don’t be sad. I know the pain will pass, your tears will dry, and All I will be is a joyous memory. Forever yours, Adric.


That was it. Adric had planned this for weeks, It must have been. Adric I love you, I thought to myself inside my head. At that moment, I could feel a cold breeze fall upon me. A translucent hand caressed my hair while my lips jolted with electric that only one thing could cause. Adric.


“I love you.” The voice called. Adric loved me. He truly did, forever and always just as I had always wished for.


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