Who's the fool now - flash fiction

Reads: 1090  | Likes: 11  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 8

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic

One person thinks they are getting the best of another - but looks can be deceiving

Here I stand in the background again, scratching my head trying to figure out who he could be meeting now. Everywhere we go, he finds another woman to talk to. This one is older than the rest. Wait, what is she giving him? Every other one is giving him papers or small packages. We’ve been taking trains for days and all this time he is collecting things.

I don’t dare ask why he is doing this or what he is collecting. I made that mistake once before and he slapped me and said to mind my own business. But isn’t this my business? Isn’t being newly married my business? My parents never had secrets and here I am only a few days married and I already don’t know what my husband is doing.

I’m watching this one closely though, even though we are far apart, but there they stand where the sun is shining directly on them. Yes, she is definitely giving him something bigger, this one is the biggest I have seen so far. He hugs her and puts this envelope into his jacket pocket.

~~ ~

This is the last stop I have to make. This woman has the last piece of my puzzle. I wait impatiently for this one. They had to send an old woman, damn. Her hands are shaking as she opens her purse, I see the envelope and I want to grab for it but she keeps moving, only her moves are so slow I could die here waiting.

I look up to see my wife, and she is waiting patiently as she has done for all the rest of these. Quietly and slightly out of sight. This way if she is ever questioned, she can easily say she knows nothing, saw nothing. I feel a little bad for her. But she will understand when we get to the next destination.

We got married at the courthouse before we ventured out. I had my requisite witness there. She had her parents. I couldn’t get to these places alone. Many of them would question why a single man was walking into the places. I needed her. Needed a cover. Tonight, she will learn the truth. I can’t wait, I keep faking having a terrible cough and promise to consummate the marriage soon. She is a trusting soul.


~~ ~

“You go shower, I’ll be waiting here for you.” The man says to his wife. “We’ve traveled so much, you must be tired.” He tries to say with sincerity.

Out of the shower she stands and looks around the room. His suitcases gone. A note on the bed. Her suspicions confirmed. ‘Here is our marriage certificate, rip it up. We aren’t married anyway, the guy was my friend. Thanks for accompanying me.’

She sits on the bed and makes a phone call, “Daddy. He took the bait, I’ll take the next train home.”

“Good job honey.”

Submitted: February 11, 2020

© Copyright 2021 C.A.A.. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



I really enjoyed this, I liked the suspense of what was going on, and the different views of the two of them. I did though have a lot of questions, I couldn't quite figure out what either of them were trying to achieve, though I know the woman must have played the greater trick. I still enjoyed it though, it was a surprise to see that the woman wasn't so naive.

Thu, February 13th, 2020 12:05am


thank you for your kind words - I believe what they were trying to achieve isn't as important as the ending

Wed, February 12th, 2020 5:11pm

Karen Haggard

I love stories with twists at the end! Mine are like that.

Mon, February 17th, 2020 10:46pm


Then I will check them out happily.

Mon, February 17th, 2020 2:50pm


nice work,i really enjoyed reading it

Thu, February 20th, 2020 1:37pm


Thank you Ricky67 - always good to hear from unbiased opinions.

Thu, February 20th, 2020 5:59am

james farr

I like how the protagonist uses roll play to avoid confrontation and pull of the crime.Deep psychologically.

Thu, February 27th, 2020 3:17pm


I'm glad you understand where I was going. Thank you for your kind words.

Thu, February 27th, 2020 1:48pm

Nick meraglio

Really enjoyed this story.

Fri, April 3rd, 2020 5:17am


Thank you.

Fri, April 3rd, 2020 6:40am


I enjoyed this little read...Interesting to discover how the "husband" fell for her trick. Thank you for posting this.

Mon, April 6th, 2020 2:58pm


So glad you liked this. I hope you'll enjoy other items I have posted too.

Mon, April 6th, 2020 1:40pm

Babeho Shibah

I love the technique of suspense especially at the end.
Nice story

Thu, April 9th, 2020 8:03pm


Thank you so much, always good to hear someone enjoyed.

Sat, April 11th, 2020 8:49pm

simon arthur

That was some weird story there. I like how each scene is written in a different perspective so I guess the writing competition is on different perspectives. But well done.

I wonder what the mystery is? What's going on there?

Also, could you please read my story Halley's Comet. I would appreciate it very much.

Sun, November 29th, 2020 8:39am

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