The Stormy Green Menace
Tony was a slow little shit. He couldn't play football, he couldn't play baseball, and he really really couldn't play track. He was a fucking little loser bitch who got picked on
by all the bigger kids.
It all changed one day after school. He was trying to ask out a girl, Tina, who was goddam sexy. She had long brown hair, big boobs and a nice ass. She actually laughed at him, and he went home fuming. As he walked the 3 blocks to his home, he noticed a sudden thunderstorm forming. Just fucking great he thought to himself.
He was halfway home when it happened. He stopped to tie his shoe, then when he stood up he glanced up at the sky. He saw a white flash above him and a streak of lightening rushed down and met him in the face.
He was blind. Everything was white. He couldn't FUCKING SEE!!
But then the air started to clear. Sounds which had been muffled were coming in clearer now. Everything was returning to normal. He lay there for several more minutes, waiting for a nurse to come in. He was sure they had heard him screaming. He wondered how long he had been out, how long he'd been in the hospital. When all his libido finally returned to him, he sat up and looked around.
Tony was still laying on the fucking sidewalk. No one had found him, no one had taken him to the hospital. Fucking bastards
He pushed himself up off the pavement and looked at himself. Surprisingly, the lightening seemed to do little damage. His clothes were charred and barely hung together in a few spots, but otherwise he was fine. He picked up his bookbag, then threw it back down. He didn't need it anymore. The plastic of the bag was melted and all the books were burned to a crisp. Fucking great.
He walked about thirty feet when he heard a buzzing sound. It was really quiet, but at the same time he could hear nothing else, like it was the loudest sound in the world. He felt wind on his back. He turned around and saw a ginormous spinning silver disc hovering a hundred feet above the ground. It gradually lowered itself to fifty feet, then eight small hatches opened around the bottom. Tiny cylindrical objects emerged, one from each hole. He immediately saw they were thin little spider legs. They touched the ground and the ship stopped spinning, dropping several feet but still held up by the legs. He couldn't understand how those tiny legs could hold up such a massive object. Actually, he didn't give a shit. IT WAS A FUCKING ALIEN SPACESHIP!!!
A tiny door opened and a platform emerged, lowering itself to the ground. Tiny shadows appeared at the door. When they came into view, Tony couldn't help but laugh. They were each about fourteen inches tall, with four arms each. They were literally pencil thin, and they almost seemed to use the wind to propel them. They had short legs and extremely long thin arms, tipped with three fingers. They were all practical beige. Their heads were tiny. They looked like eyeballs with a tiny amout of tissue around them.
"Y'all some ugly little..."
He never finished his sentence because one of the aliens raised a tiny little metal object which emitted a red flash.
Tony awoke to find himself inside the ship. He was tied down, and naked on a metal table. There was a hole where his ass was. He screamed. He shouted for help. He tried to break free. Not a goddam thing did anything to help.
"I wish you'd shut up"
He turned his head and saw Tina was tied down next to him. And she was naked. Despite the current situation, he couldn't help but stare. She was naked. Holy fucking shit! She looked so much better than he could have ever imagined. And he imagined it a lot when he was in his bedroom. She ran her eyes down his body and saw his erection. She laughed. That whore.
His attention was taken by the aliens. They were gathered around them with long metal objects. Apparently they collected them. Each was tipped in a clear sphere with what looked like a camera. Oh shit. The table he was fasted to spun over and he found himself facing the floor. He heard moving and shuffling, and Tina said "Eww..that's gross." But then he heard her scream, followed by a wet squeelching sound. This was followed by the metal camera-tipped rod being shoved up his ass. He screamed.
An hour later he sat there dazed and confused, unable to formulate proper thought. He found himself forgetting the ship landing. There was a ship, wasnt there? He felt the memories fade away, one by one. He faught to hold on to one memory. And as he was dropped back onto the ground from the ship, he sank into unconciousness with the thought of Tina's perfect titties in his mind, and the puzzlement at where he had seen them.
Tony awoke and wondered what the fuck had happened. He had been walking, then suddenly he was lying on the pavement asleep. He had dreamed something weird. The only thing he could remember was Tina's boobs. Oh GYAHD her boobs. And oh GYAHD his ass hurt. He got up for the second time and started walking.
He walked another block when he heard a loud sound, like metal screaming. He turned around and saw a toxic waste truck from the local plant fishtailing around he street corner behind him. It slid sideways on the road, heading straight for him. He was frozen, panicked. It rolled onto its side and the metal container ruptured and thousands of gallons of glowing green liquid exploded from within it, like a man having an orgasm. Well, more like a woman who can ejaculate, since it was a big hole. Anyway.
Tony stared as the stuff rushed at him and he finally found his speed. He ran, as fast as he had ever run before. Faster. Ten feet later the waste caught up with him and knocked him off his feet. He slid on his back, then was pushed onto his front side, rolling down the street in the sludge. He was finally able to stand up, but he was now covered in it. He winced as he felt it start burning him. It was burning through his skin, his clothes. It was just then he heard something over head. He looked up and saw a white light growing in the clouds.
"Oh fuck. Not again"
Twenty minutes later Tony woke up, the now-familiar sensation of having been struck by lightening throughout his body. Again, he was miraculously unhurt. He in fact felt better than before. The sludge was no longer eating through his skin, in fact the burns had actually healed. He found it funny, but his mind kept wandering. His clothes were almost gone. He was reduced to a few scraps and his boxers. They had a few holes in them, but they'd been protected by his jeans. He got up and brushed the dirt and leaves off his body and started towards home. It was dark, so he decided to run - and was home.
© Copyright 2016 cactus. All rights reserved.
Book / Fantasy
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Humor
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