Saturday nights gin, Sunday morning prayer

Reads: 402  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Bentley didn't know she fell so short of his expectations.

Submitted: February 13, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 13, 2010

A A A

A A A


The sheets were cold as I turned over in the bed, and my warm flesh hit the cold sheets, cold air escaped my lugs as i made a cold shake, it's to cold to be doing this, its to cold to be alive. I blinked as the sheets were ripped away from my body and fell onto the floor slowly like a para shoot from the sky. She was fair skinned with her long red hair curved around right shoulder and pulled to the side with a beautiful broach,her voice was scratchy but also smooth and childlike, she had amazing green eyes that lit up in the early morning light that shown through my window, \"Good morning Ashton, its time for Sunday school so hurry up..\" she made it halfway out the door when she looked back once more, \"Wear something nice please and don't wear your hair down.\" She took the pill bottle off my table beside the door and shook her head, i could see pain but ignored it. \"Thank you..\" My mother wasn't exactly great at approaching conflict when it came to me, in fact.. She never admitted something was wrong.

My hardwood floor was cold on my feet as I walked to my dresser and grabbed my blue jeans, i slipped them on and laced up my white heels with them. I slipped off my white tank top and snapped my bra on. \"Hey there beautiful,\" arms wrapped around my stomach as i jumped what felt like off the floor. \"Dear lord Bently!\" His laugh made my heart jump to, his blue eyes locked on my stomach and i knew he noticed the cuts that lined me skin, i kissed his soft gentle lips and pushed him off as i grabbed my white blouse and began buttoning it up \"I thought i locked my window last night, how did you get in here?\" He hopped on my bed and handed me my necklace and ring off the table as his beautiful gentle, loving voice filled my ears, \"must have forgotten to babe.\" He got on his feet and kissed me again,brushing his soft hands through my dark brown curls that fell over my shoulders. \"Stop, stop,\" my laugh made him smile through our locked lips, \"I have to get ready,\" I could barely speak through my laughs. \"Baby you look amazing, you don't need that make-up, come on\" He kissed me again as i turned to look in the mirror and fixed the smeared eye liner that fell into the bags of my sleepy eyes. \"You smell like gin Ash...\" I could here the fear in his voice, he handed me my purse as i grabbed a piece of gum and kissed him again, \"I just needed something to help me sleep sweat pea...\" He took my hand and he slid the ring he had given me last year onto my finger and wrapped his arms around my waste. \"Drive safe, and I will see you after church beautiful, bye.\" He kissed me once more and slid out my window as my cell phone began to ring the annoying tone and repeated over and over NEW MESSAGE NEW MESSAGE NEW MESSAGE until i could dig it out of my bathroom laundry pile to open the text message.

From: Bently (: Reading: WE WILL TALK ABOUT THOSE CUTS AND THAT DRINK LATER DNT THINK I 4GOT.

I sighed, slipped my pill bottle into my purse, put on my gold necklace Bently handed to me earlier and began to send a message to my mother

To: Mommy Reading: Hey I'm sick i'll make it to service but I don't feel up 2 going 2 bible study so ill c u l8ter.

I hit the send button and grabbed the car keys off my table, I made my way down the hallway, listening to the sound of my heels hit the hard floor then the concrete as I walked to the car. The seats were cold as i started the engine and backed up. I had driven down this road a million times and every time I feel a little more sick just knowing how dissapointed people would be if they knew i was heading to a liquor store, i walked in and grabbed 3 mini shots of gin and watched as they shoved the into a bag. The cashier was a family friend, who just so happened didn't care if i drank and didn't care if my parents did care. He was tall with dark brown eyes, they were red and he had dried blood around his nose, he had obviously snorted coke in the last hour and was ready to pass out,he handed me the bag and gave me a look, i knew what he wanted but i walked off anyways, took the bag, shoved it in my purse and hurried my way to the church.

Grace Baptist... Only the most hypocritical, psychotic, and fake church in all of Texas, but nobody cared, all they cared about was the preacher, his son, and her, Becca. She sat seven pew's in front of me, smiled as she watched me walk by, somewhat lonely, the light shined off her brown hair. It was that same head of hair i had fawned over, wished i had for months, she was beautiful and in some way lonely but still elegant. Nothing on her spelled \"Im-perfect\" she had everything, the wonderful husband, the beautiful child. The feeling of walking into a room and not being stared at for her past, but her beauty.

She sat, bible open reading and still somewhat lonely, but perfect. This was what i wanted, this is how i wanted it to be when people saw her again, to be able to say hello, but not become detailed friends again. This is what i wanted right? This is how i saw it in my eyes when i saw her again. Oh but how she looked sitting in that church pew. \"Thats what a daughter of christ looks like..\" I whispered as everyone sang along with the music, she was amazing, Becca Wright was godly in every way,daughter in law of the most godly person i know, the preacher.

He wasnt like other people inside my small church, he didn't say one thing then do another, he wasnt a hypocrite. No, heavens no, life was to important to waste with sin's for him. He was a man of God. Not like the rest of this place, full of lies.

Don't get me wrong now, each and every church will have its people, the ones who go through motions, say im this then do that. Poor,poor Becca, when she hugged me that faithful church service, well she had no idea the music ended and i quickly slid down in the pew, making sure to be silent as i wiped away the tear that fell onto my notebook and wrote every thought. The service was long, we all stood to sing before prayer as I quickly grabbed my purse and pulled out my keys and went home to sleep off the hangover, and forget the weekend, for my sake, and Bently's. We would never talk about this weekend.

Tonights fight with my mother was same as all the others, \"You can do better, you can be better..\" So on so forth, I'm use to it, Bently held me closer tonight after he climbed through my window, as he left he kissed my head and told me he would see me after school, he had graduated last year so now I'm forced to survive without him. I could feel the cold sweat coming down my forehead, it dripped down across my eyebrow and splashed onto my cheek. It was a bitter sweet sensation, i could feel the salt from my warm tears mixing with the cold sweat. I sighed and locked my door as i collapsed onto the hardwood floor, i slowly crawled to the bed and pulled out the black case, it felt heavy as it sat on my lap.

It seemed like forever taken its tole as i unzipped the black case and took out the shiny metal blade i held between my small fingers. I placed it on the floor in front of me, the music that played drowned out the sound of my tears crashing on the floor, the room began to spin as the blood trickled slowly down my wrist. My eyes were puffy as i wrapped my arms around my legs and sat there on the floor. My alarm went off as i stood and turned off the loud buzzing sound that echoed through my room. I zipped back my case as i felt i could cry no more, placed it back under my bad and wrapped an ace bandage around the cuts i made from the night before, grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on over my cold clammy legs and pulled on my brown snow boots on over them, snapped on a bra and put on a lace tank top, then pulled over my school spirit hoodie, fixed my make-up that remained on my face from the day before, grabbed my purse and books, slipped my cell in my pocket and drove that long drive to \"Clemontines high school.\"

I slammed the car door and walked to my locker, slowly getting ready for the long, long school day. \"Where were you?\" I could recognize the voice before i saw the face, his dark eyes blinked with confusion as he looked into mine, i stood there, wondering if he could see the pain, or if he saw how puffy my eyes were or if he noticed anything at all besides it had taken me longer to answer than it should have. \"Family emergency, I.. fell asleep.\" My voice faded and i quickly picked up where i stopped, \"Actually, sorry, i just was tired and forgot that we had plans for that bible study thing, I'm sorry..\" I meant it, i hated standing people up. Specially Carson, he always meant well, always tried to get me into this church youth group of his. \"This is the third time you have fallen asleep Ash? This bible study means alot to me and i wish you would come instead of blowing it off.\" He looked down as he lifted the books from my hand as i stummbled with my locker.

\"Maybe, i really was tired Carson? Or maybe i actually was busy with something, or maybe that Jesus guy doesn't want me in church cause like you always say let fate take its course? If God wanted me to be there he would give fate a map and make it take its course..\" The metaphore i had used confused even me. \"I went to the morning service, I just forgot Carson its fine i'll go next time just drop it..\" I said in a rude tone, i didn't mean to be rude, i just didn't want to deal with this right now. Carson handed me my book and we started walking to our theology class, the one and only class i didn't want to skip on a daily basis. We sat our things on the desk right next to each other, me being sure to place my bag on the desk where i could text and not be noticed, taking out my notebook and sat down continuing with Carson.

\"Or maybe Ashton, you just are afraid!\" His voice echoed and i shivered with a shock of surprise. \"Afraid for once you will have to stop putting on this perfect act and step up, admit that even you have problems and that maybe just freaking maybe you dont want to admit that someone thinks you can make it, God knows you can make it! Stop being a coward and step up!\" I watched in awe as Carson took his things and moved a few desk over, bowing his head and got silent, cradling his head in his hands.


© Copyright 2020 caitlynbecca. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

More Young Adult Short Stories