I promise....

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I think this isn't very good personally... but am just posting anything that pops into my head...

Submitted: May 07, 2011

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Submitted: May 07, 2011

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……………………… I may not always be perfect… It is hard sometimes you know? To never let you down or make you sad… and make you cry. I will never do it on purpose… you mean way too much for that. If I ever do I am sorry. I will never forgive myself believe me. I could never see your tears fall and say its okay… because I know… as those tears are falling… your heart is braking and you are in pain. Maybe not physically… but I know… those tears always mean that pain… that pain that makes everything around you bad and everything inside you turn bad.

I will always to try and be perfect... to never let you cry to never let you fall a thousand miles… and inch is too far. But… there may be a time when I have to… for the better… let you fall into something… and not fall down… let you fall out of something and let you land safely on the other side. Even if you lose your balance at first, you would soon become stable again… while I am still on the floor… but maybe... one day that would be for the best… to let you stumble to help you get back up. But really… that is only as a last resort, it’s not even an option… not even a possibility. Remember how much I love and need you… remember sometimes I am very selfish and could never face losing you… never let you fall… because you are and will always be mine. So don’t ever worry. It will happen soon enough; we will live our dreams and be happy forever. Never worry. I love you and need you. So this can never change. Even if in the end I have to let you fall…. Remember I will always love you. That won’t and can’t change… so for now goodbye my love… goodbye… I love you… goodbye for now.

There will come a time when we will meet again. A time when I will be so lucky to see your smiling face… when I will be able to hold you and say I love you once more. But for now it is goodbye. There is no other way around it. No other way then this choice… that believe me Is the hardest choice I have ever made. To leave the one I need… to leave the one I love. But you must understand that for now… there is no other way for us to do this. Goodbye I love you… and please wait for that day… the day I can finally see that smiling face and hold you in a warm embrace. I am so sorry… I love you… goodbye. …………………………………

She held the letter in her tight grip. Holding it like it was her only life source. How could he of done this… taken it all away again… and he wants her to wait for him again, to wait for him to come back. How could he… think she could get through it again… and let her feel that pain that he knows she will always feel… even if he wrote this pointless letter to try and stop that feeling of utter pain that she is now feeling.

Tears rolling down her face… falling onto the pictures that he left behind… of their children he has once again left again. Why would he do this? How could he protect himself by running away again? Why couldn’t he just face what he has done…?

Years have passed since that terrible night… that he will forever regret… but that night happened… and she stilled stayed beside him. Comforting him and making it all okay… even when it was hard sometimes… to look into the eyes of a killer… to look at the man she loves so much… and then remember what he had done all those years ago.

She take the letter in her hand… and knows there must be something that she must be able to do… to get this all to stop… all she wants is to live a normal life and not have to hear him cry himself to sleep each night… thinking she was asleep. She knows … that if he just turns himself in… it will all be fine. He may have to go to jail… but after… if he comes back out… he wouldn’t need to do this anymore. His conscience would be clear and he would never have to run again… leave her alone again. But she knows deep down… that he is too scared to do the right thing… to do the thing that would make their lives so much easier.

So today is the last time… today she would have to do the thing she really didn’t want to do. But it is for the better. If she doesn’t do it nothing will ever change. Nothing will ever be normal again.

She took the letter in her hand and placed it on the desk beside her… she gathered up the pictures and walked into the neighbouring room where her children slept so quietly… she gave them each a kiss softly on the forehead and closed their bedroom door.

She slowly walked down the stairs and took the car keys from the draw and went to the front door. She knows what she has to do… to finally tell them… tell the world that she is married to the one that they had been looking for, for almost twelve years. She reached the door and took a second look at the place they had called home for just under a year. Placing her hand on the handle she started to think… what if she never came back… what if she was classed as an accessory to the murder of that poor little girl. She took a hesitant step back… what if she could never see her perfect little angels again? What if they had to grow up with two parents in jail? She took a final step back… deciding the risk was far too big.

Walking back up the stairs… feeling guilty about each step and once again walking by her children’s door… still silently sleeping, slowly opening the door once more she looked upon the face of her little angel… looking up at her… with tears in her little eyes.

“… mummy… he’s gone again..?” wiping the tears that were pouring from her eyes.

“Yes dear… he has gone again… but its okay.. it will all be okay… please come over here” slowly bending down she took her little girl by the hand and slowly pulled her towards her… “It will be okay.. I promise you…”

“Okay mummy… please stop crying… you said it will be okay remember? …he will be back. He will come home again…”

“Yes my little girl… now go to sleep… a long day tomorrow…” This was her last chance to do what was right… slowly walking back to her room making sure not to wake anyone again. She knew that it had to end… to get them away so he could never hurt them again. She once again went to her bed to await the nightmares ahead of her… or maybe... just maybe… the future would have a happier outcome… a better future… without him.


© Copyright 2018 LauraJWilliams. All rights reserved.

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