Martin

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This story is about Martin who's suffering of depression.

Submitted: September 06, 2008

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Submitted: September 06, 2008

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Martin
It had been a long time since Martin had been close to a human being. The social worker approached him and shook his hand. The sudden experience of being so held caused an explosion inside.He was in that odd mood currently in that depressive suicidal time at the moment so he hid all the sharp pointing objects. If he read his own mind pretty odd questions accumulated as a result: Who are you? What do you want?
He had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia for this condition of his and most of the time to escape the problem, a way to escape and not to feel like he was just becoming consumed by it he would bury himself in his books. Reading had become like an addiction. They call it an addiction because it is something added to your life, that you can’t function without because it has become a part of who you are. His addiction of three years was reading books on philosophy. They were his way to escape the pain and trouble of his life. Martin thought a philosopher was a man who never ceased to question, never stopped to experience, to observe, listen, hope and dream extraordinary things. He himself was obsessed with the meaning of Being, what belonged to himself. He sought evidence of himself, to have something concrete, to have a simple awareness of something present at hand, a need of factuality , to want to know that he existed in the world, that human beings are always reaching out and existing beyond themselves or else that human beings are also constantly falling away from Being.Though Martin faced the same existantiaistic and spiritual problems as the rest of humanity he felt he experienced them more deeply more lucidly and bitterly acknowledged the ultimate meaning of nothingness. Though Martin was irritated with himself for taking things so seriously in his own mind he thought himself a genius even if people seemed to treat him
a lesser stature then a human being. He saw himself superior to most people of whom he considered barbarians and who he saw as dangerous capitalists possessed by a fever of technology and were products of an unrestrained organization of a corrupted society.Thus he chose to live alone and isolated. In order to reach him, his social worker had to drive to a small town then further into the forest until the road became a patch and all human habitation became scattered and invisible. His living conditions were primitive ,
his books were few and his only relationship to the world were his white sheet of paper;
Martin had also been accused of professional dishonesty at the local newpaper where he had held a position as a columnist because he believed he believed in creating his own opportunities and destiny though he would swear that every decision he made was guided by his own individual conscience, the self itself that forced to resolve itself and always keeping in mind that life progresses towards death. Shaping his life in the face of being in progression towards death, enduring and dreading in silence the ultimate truth in Martin eyes was more authentic and not forfeited. Existence and the authentic person recognized no friends no fellows but instead is alone for the sake of own integrity and faces his own death alone. Also Martin thought for the sake of hi integrity a man should be resolute and remain fixed in his vision, he should cut himself not only from men but also from animals and from the whole of living. For doctors and professional staff Martin was looking at life through the eyes of a madman and had argued with Martin he that his theory as elucidation of Being failed miserably and that the central theme of Being was not being concerned with life at all, with what is and is there and continuous and perennial as nature for instance that is theory was based all the finititude of man. Also Martin based the meaning of human existence in the temporality of man but he did not allow place for intuition or mystical grasp and though nature in our mind is essentially temporal it is also creative and active.
Did their opinion really make a difference to Martin? Not really. He argued that accepting things as self given we spare ourselves much grief in the long run,. He believed that choosing to live alone and isolated from humanity was also a new approach to living a “new science of being” and therefore another approach towards an encounter of truth..
This vision created a negative impression on the professionals and especially the social worker and she thought that the result of therapy of progression and accomplishments were always meager that the social worker would wonder why they even bothered with it and though she warned him over and over that this sort of nonsense would not do further , Martin though stricken with fear trembling for his words he would shout for her to leave him be or sometimes even threatedn to sew authorities for imposing on him and not respecting his privacy and rights and because she feared further hostility and defiance and fury she would stop lecturing him and listened instead.What was Martin looking for? What was wrong?  She asked herself, he was not really psychotic, he was not neurotic as far as tge traditional diagnosis category yet he was severely disturbed individual with deeply abnormal interpersonal relations. Martin had been living in isolation with nothing but space and wilderness around him. The social worker noticed that his whole life revolved around books and sheet of writing paper and it seemed to her that he wanted nothing else but be left in peace and to read and write that she she wondered whether she should even bother coming here when the next month came around.
 
 
Martin
It had been a long time since Martin had been close to a human being. The social worker approached him and shook his hand. The sudden experience of being so held caused an explosion inside.He was in that odd mood currently in that depressive suicidal time at the moment so he hid all the sharp pointing objects. If he read his own mind pretty odd questions accumulated as a result: Who are you? What do you want?
He had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia for this condition of his and most of the time to escape the problem, a way to escape and not to feel like he was just becoming consumed by it he would bury himself in his books. Reading had become like an addiction. They call it an addiction because it is something added to your life, that you can’t function without because it has become a part of who you are. His addiction of three years was reading books on philosophy. They were his way to escape the pain and trouble of his life. Martin thought a philosopher was a man who never ceased to question, never stopped to experience, to observe, listen, hope and dream extraordinary things. He himself was obsessed with the meaning of Being, what belonged to himself. He sought evidence of himself, to have something concrete, to have a simple awareness of something present at hand, a need of factuality , to want to know that he existed in the world, that human beings are always reaching out and existing beyond themselves or else that human beings are also constantly falling away from Being.Though Martin faced the same existantiaistic and spiritual problems as the rest of humanity he felt he experienced them more deeply more lucidly and bitterly acknowledged the ultimate meaning of nothingness. Though Martin was irritated with himself for taking things so seriously in his own mind he thought himself a genius even if people seemed to treat him
a lesser stature then a human being. He saw himself superior to most people of whom he considered barbarians and who he saw as dangerous capitalists possessed by a fever of technology and were products of an unrestrained organization of a corrupted society.Thus he chose to live alone and isolated. In order to reach him, his social worker had to drive to a small town then further into the forest until the road became a patch and all human habitation became scattered and invisible. His living conditions were primitive ,
his books were few and his only relationship to the world were his white sheet of paper;
Martin had also been accused of professional dishonesty at the local newpaper where he had held a position as a columnist because he believed he believed in creating his own opportunities and destiny though he would swear that every decision he made was guided by his own individual conscience, the self itself that forced to resolve itself and always keeping in mind that life progresses towards death. Shaping his life in the face of being in progression towards death, enduring and dreading in silence the ultimate truth in Martin eyes was more authentic and not forfeited. Existence and the authentic person recognized no friends no fellows but instead is alone for the sake of own integrity and faces his own death alone. Also Martin thought for the sake of hi integrity a man should be resolute and remain fixed in his vision, he should cut himself not only from men but also from animals and from the whole of living. For doctors and professional staff Martin was looking at life through the eyes of a madman and had argued with Martin he that his theory as elucidation of Being failed miserably and that the central theme of Being was not being concerned with life at all, with what is and is there and continuous and perennial as nature for instance that is theory was based all the finititude of man. Also Martin based the meaning of human existence in the temporality of man but he did not allow place for intuition or mystical grasp and though nature in our mind is essentially temporal it is also creative and active.
Did their opinion really make a difference to Martin? Not really. He argued that accepting things as self given we spare ourselves much grief in the long run,. He believed that choosing to live alone and isolated from humanity was also a new approach to living a “new science of being” and therefore another approach towards an encounter of truth..
This vision created a negative impression on the professionals and especially the social worker and she thought that the result of therapy of progression and accomplishments were always meager that the social worker would wonder why they even bothered with it and though she warned him over and over that this sort of nonsense would not do further , Martin though stricken with fear trembling for his words he would shout for her to leave him be or sometimes even threatedn to sew authorities for imposing on him and not respecting his privacy and rights and because she feared further hostility and defiance and fury she would stop lecturing him and listened instead.What was Martin looking for? What was wrong?  She asked herself, he was not really psychotic, he was not neurotic as far as tge traditional diagnosis category yet he was severely disturbed individual with deeply abnormal interpersonal relations. Martin had been living in isolation with nothing but space and wilderness around him. The social worker noticed that his whole life revolved around books and sheet of writing paper and it seemed to her that he wanted nothing else but be left in peace and to read and write that she she wondered whether she should even bother coming here when the next month came around.
 
 
Martin
It had been a long time since Martin had been close to a human being. The social worker approached him and shook his hand. The sudden experience of being so held caused an explosion inside.He was in that odd mood currently in that depressive suicidal time at the moment so he hid all the sharp pointing objects. If he read his own mind pretty odd questions accumulated as a result: Who are you? What do you want?
He had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia for this condition of his and most of the time to escape the problem, a way to escape and not to feel like he was just becoming consumed by it he would bury himself in his books. Reading had become like an addiction. They call it an addiction because it is something added to your life, that you can’t function without because it has become a part of who you are. His addiction of three years was reading books on philosophy. They were his way to escape the pain and trouble of his life. Martin thought a philosopher was a man who never ceased to question, never stopped to experience, to observe, listen, hope and dream extraordinary things. He himself was obsessed with the meaning of Being, what belonged to himself. He sought evidence of himself, to have something concrete, to have a simple awareness of something present at hand, a need of factuality , to want to know that he existed in the world, that human beings are always reaching out and existing beyond themselves or else that human beings are also constantly falling away from Being.Though Martin faced the same existantiaistic and spiritual problems as the rest of humanity he felt he experienced them more deeply more lucidly and bitterly acknowledged the ultimate meaning of nothingness. Though Martin was irritated with himself for taking things so seriously in his own mind he thought himself a genius even if people seemed to treat him
a lesser stature then a human being. He saw himself superior to most people of whom he considered barbarians and who he saw as dangerous capitalists possessed by a fever of technology and were products of an unrestrained organization of a corrupted society.Thus he chose to live alone and isolated. In order to reach him, his social worker had to drive to a small town then further into the forest until the road became a patch and all human habitation became scattered and invisible. His living conditions were primitive ,
his books were few and his only relationship to the world were his white sheet of paper;
Martin had also been accused of professional dishonesty at the local newpaper where he had held a position as a columnist because he believed he believed in creating his own opportunities and destiny though he would swear that every decision he made was guided by his own individual conscience, the self itself that forced to resolve itself and always keeping in mind that life progresses towards death. Shaping his life in the face of being in progression towards death, enduring and dreading in silence the ultimate truth in Martin eyes was more authentic and not forfeited. Existence and the authentic person recognized no friends no fellows but instead is alone for the sake of own integrity and faces his own death alone. Also Martin thought for the sake of hi integrity a man should be resolute and remain fixed in his vision, he should cut himself not only from men but also from animals and from the whole of living. For doctors and professional staff Martin was looking at life through the eyes of a madman and had argued with Martin he that his theory as elucidation of Being failed miserably and that the central theme of Being was not being concerned with life at all, with what is and is there and continuous and perennial as nature for instance that is theory was based all the finititude of man. Also Martin based the meaning of human existence in the temporality of man but he did not allow place for intuition or mystical grasp and though nature in our mind is essentially temporal it is also creative and active.
Did their opinion really make a difference to Martin? Not really. He argued that accepting things as self given we spare ourselves much grief in the long run,. He believed that choosing to live alone and isolated from humanity was also a new approach to living a “new science of being” and therefore another approach towards an encounter of truth..
This vision created a negative impression on the professionals and especially the social worker and she thought that the result of therapy of progression and accomplishments were always meager that the social worker would wonder why they even bothered with it and though she warned him over and over that this sort of nonsense would not do further , Martin though stricken with fear trembling for his words he would shout for her to leave him be or sometimes even threatedn to sew authorities for imposing on him and not respecting his privacy and rights and because she feared further hostility and defiance and fury she would stop lecturing him and listened instead.What was Martin looking for? What was wrong?  She asked herself, he was not really psychotic, he was not neurotic as far as tge traditional diagnosis category yet he was severely disturbed individual with deeply abnormal interpersonal relations. Martin had been living in isolation with nothing but space and wilderness around him. The social worker noticed that his whole life revolved around books and sheet of writing paper and it seemed to her that he wanted nothing else but be left in peace and to read and write that she she wondered whether she should even bother coming here when the next month came around.
 
 


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