My hearts bleeds,
It plants death’s seeds,
Upon the mentioning of your name,
It brings my heart so much pain…
I feel pathetic,
Shameful and magnetic,
To pity all and doubt,
And watch you walk about…
You are out going and loving,
I am nervous and ignoring,
The voice that tells me what to say,
And that voice just won’t go away…
I won’t impress you,
I’ll do what I do,
You are happy when you see him,
But only smile at me so thin…
I am just there,
Not bright like a flare,
Just being a friend,
But that’s not how I want it to end…
Submitted: October 19, 2008
© Copyright 2023 CanadianIdiot. All rights reserved.
Comments
Isn't it great to pour your blackened heart out in verse? Well done! Worth the read.
Mon, October 20th, 2008 2:50amvery lyrical as usual. Good stress on the syllables. Thanks for the invite.
Mon, October 20th, 2008 3:49amVery well written. Well done. :) I like the rhyming, too.
-SnowQueen
An enjoyable read indeed!
looking forward to more of your stuff.
feel free to drop by my stuff and comment ;)
Hmmmm, an interesting little piece of work.
I'm not certain if this is your heart, or is it
your best friend drooling over your girl/wife?
Nice work I love rhyming, keep going.
Kind Regards
Splended Job!! I love it! Keep up the Awesome work!! :D
Mon, October 20th, 2008 9:04pmCanadianIdiot:
Well written and expressed emotions. Of unrequited love and continued longing for a loved one. Gave it an "I Like It" vote.
Happy trails,
Ed Bradley.
I am kind of dense about poetry myself, but this poem really makes sense to me. It expresses so much emotion, and it seems to say, even though it seemes inpossible it could happen. Simply brilliant.
Tue, October 21st, 2008 12:40amI really liked in this poem that you will be you, and you change for no one.
"I won’t impress you,
I’ll do what I do,"
I don't even know if you wrote this as first person point of view or from someone else's point of view, but here's my thoughts -
I love the 2nd verse:
"feel pathetic,
Shameful and magnetic,
To pity all and doubt,
And watch you walk about"
That is the worse feeling ever. When you like someone so much, but at the same time you are trying to not be clingy and magnetic. Truly, the last thing we would want from that admired person is pity.
I actually had to go above and look at the other comments people left and also at your responses to see if you wrote it as your own point of view. *Sigh*... dude... I'll try not to give much advice, but honestly if the girl ain't into you like that, don't waste time on her. Look at it this way - you're better off without her. (Maybe not without her, but better off not being in that kind of relationship with her.) When the right one comes along, you will both fit together as if a puzzle piece has been missing and suddenly found. I think there will be no question on either side when it's your soul mate (if you believe in that kind of stuff).
Either way... I enjoyed reading this. I hope that if this situation is still bringing you down, that you can move on quickly... go out... have fun... flirt... rock out with your cock out ;)
hahaha that was so wrong. I shouldn't have wrote that, but oh well... you get my drift... enjoy life!
Author
Reply
That was the single most important thing said to me so far. I'm glad it's coming from someone older than me too, who has gone through all of this before. Really, it means a lot to me! I never really thought I was that much of a poet, but now that you point some of the lines out, I'm saying "Damn, I wrote that?" Honestly, from my heart, thank you. Thank you so much!
Wed, October 22nd, 2008 11:54ami like that..... very much like what i feel when someone wants me to change and i like it just how i am. its refreshing to know someone can write about the same things i feel.
Fri, October 31st, 2008 7:07pmCanadian,
feelings... whoa whoa whoa... feelings........
Hmmm????
I like the way your poem says it better.
Nice Job
That was such a beautiful poem. It expressed your feelings so exquisitely. So sad but so beautiful.
Fri, November 7th, 2008 10:03amExcellent!! I was very moved by this poem as though you were directing your feelings and thoughts toward me! Quite an accomplishment--I am impressed! Now I am speechless ¥¿¥
Tue, November 11th, 2008 3:16pmwoah great piece of work trully filled with emotions i loved it keep on it
Wed, November 26th, 2008 2:52amThat was such a good poem. ASlso, I'd like to thank you for making your poems (well, the ones I've read so far) a little on the "dark side". All of that happy sunshine crap was getting on my nerves.
Wed, November 26th, 2008 1:40pm
Author
Reply
Yeah, I suppose the flower power stuff is getting repetative. Dark poetry is just a way to get anger, frusteration, or just write because it's easy to write about. Plus, I love to bring out fear and scare people with it. It's something Edgar Allan Poe did with is poems that I kinda picked up.
Wed, November 26th, 2008 12:06pmFacebook Comments
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That's really cool.I liked the rhyming.It's a little sad.Wanting someone who is with someone else and being afraid to express how you truly feel to them.Great job on this.Keep it up.
Mon, October 20th, 2008 2:41amAuthor
Reply
Thanks. Yeah, as if my life wasn't so jam-packed with crap to worry about, I'm most worried about my feelings... Heheh, it's the bane of my existance. Again, thanks for reading!
Sun, October 19th, 2008 7:42pm