“Steve, we’ve got a major problem.”
Steve and Marco sat in the cushioned chairs in Givoni’s fancy office. It was that royal brown, much like you’d see in The Godfather, but the curtains were drawn and Givoni’s face was far less ominous than it would have been in the dark. He sat at his desk, his hands folded with pictures spread out across his organized desk.
Steve leaned forward, being attentive to the mayor. “What’s wrong?” It wasn’t so often that Givoni asked for help, nevertheless, ask Steve for help.
Givoni pushed the pictures forward on his desk. “We’ve got this… Troublemaker in town. This person seems really familiar just by looking at the photos. I think you’ll be able to see what I’m saying…”
Steve picked a picture up off the desk and was taken aback. While the picture was black and white, it was obvious it was at night time. The photo was of a streetlight, but in the light on the sidewalk was a lone figure staring right at the camera. What surprised Steve the most was how the character was dressed: in a court jester costume with the same style cape, mask, and hat as Steve.
Marco glanced at the picture and had a similar reaction to Steve’s. “Well, they say imitation is the finest form of flattery, right?” The baker said out from under his moustache.
“Who does this guy think he is?!” Steve demanded, “I get that I’m completely awesome, but… This isn’t right!”
“This ‘copycat’, as the police are calling him, has been actually causing problems around town,” Givoni replied, “He’s doing pranks like you would, but they end up being destructive. Nobody has been hurt yet, but there is damage to the buildings and we don’t really have the money or supplies to repair everything efficiently…”
“And thus the backlash of being isolated from the world takes effect,” Steve muttered under his breath with a slight chuckle.
Givoni cast him a glance. He held up another picture of the copycat walking sideways, halfway in a streetlight with their right leg extended and arms swinging to the side. “In this picture, which oddly resembles that picture of Bigfoot, Rick took a photo of them after they set a paint bomb off near his police car.”
Steve snorted. “Paint bombs are so over done.”
“Stephen, focus!” Givoni roared, “You need to hear this or else I’ll just have the police take care of this!”
Steve groaned. “Okay fine, I was just trying to lighten the mood, but I’ll just act my age from now on.”
“And how old is that?” Marco asked.
Givoni took a deep sigh. “I just need you to try and stop this person before anything bad ends up happening. I can’t allow this to develop into a much-”
Givoni was quickly cut off by a canister crashing through his window. Everyone in the room gasped at the same moment. “It’s a paint bomb!” Givon cried, “Get down, now!”
In a split second, Steve dove through the window onto the fire escape outside while Marco and Givoni were sprayed with multicolored paint. Steve sighed out of relief, but was quickly started by the sound of footsteps on the fire escape above him. He saw the figure of someone running up to the roof. He wasted no time spring up the ladder to catch up as quickly as possible.
Steve climbed up onto the top level of the fire escape and was just tall enough to climb his way onto the top of the roof. As he pulled himself up, he thought he was looking into a mirror colored pink. The person at the other end of the roof was definitely the copycat, Steve had no doubt. However the entire outfit was pink and black. Steve looked at the figure on the person and was surprised.
“You’re a girl?” He asked, confused but not letting his guard down.
“What, the pink didn’t give it away?” The copycat asked.
“Well it was either that or you really support Breast Cancer Awareness and you just had extra package in the front…”
“Oh what manners you have talking to a girl that way,”
“I don’t think you’re really in a position to tell me if I’m being polite or not.”
The copycat laughed. “Oh please, you’re such a joke. Everything about you is a joke.”
Steve held out his cloak and made his entire uniform visible. “I think that’s kinda the point…? Look babe, just drop the attitude and-”
“Babe?” The copycat asked, “Please, you ignorant perv, my name is Lucretia, not ‘Babe’.”
“Well my name is Steve, you unoriginal … thing… you…” Steve started stuttering, still slowly stepping towards Lucretia, “Why the Hell are you running around dressed like me?”
Lucretia noticed Steve stepping towards her and, as quickly as she threw the paint bomb into the window, she threw a small box at Steve. Steve felt the box hit his mask and open up into a giant net, collapsing on him and pinning him to the ground.
“Next time, don’t get close to a girl when being so rude or she’ll bite,” Lucretia said with a chuckle. She slid off the side of the building and disappeared.
Steve started thrashing around in the net just as Marco and Givoni came up to the top of the roof. They found a knot on the outside of the net and set Steve free. Steve was about to burst out and tell them about Lucretia, but he stopped and got a good look at them: covered in paint, looking like clowns and some stressed out artist with misunderstood art.
“Oh why can’t I have my camera right now?” Steve asked
“Focus Steve!” Givoni interrupted, “Who was this copycat?”
Steve snapped back to reality. “Well… it was a girl for one. Her name is Lucretia and that’s all I know.”
Givoni’s eye twitched.
“Yes , I know, I got owned by a girl…”
Givoni started walking away. “I need a moment, excuse me…”
After Givoni got off the roof, Marco looked up at Steve. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, Steve.”
“Bitches…” Steve muttered under his breath, “Can’t live with them.”
“And that’s why you’re living in a bakery,” Marco said, “Girls hate the smell of bread.”
“Sure, Steve. Didn’t I tell you I lived in a Playboy Mansion for a few years?”
“No, you never told me anything like that.”
“Well women hate the smell of bread. So you’re safe from women as long as you’re living above my place.”
Steve sighed in relief, “Thank God you’re here Marco, I’m not old enough for women yet. Especially this Lucretia running around. I don’t understand what’s up her ass.”
“And how old are you?” Marco asked, guiding Steve off the roof.
Steve looked at him through the side of his mask. “…Old enough.”
© Copyright 2016 CanadianIdiot. All rights reserved.
Book / Fantasy
Book / Fantasy
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