A Clown's Painted Smile by Candice Ann Moraga

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
The life of a performer...

Submitted: July 08, 2013

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Submitted: July 08, 2013



A Clown’s Painted Smileby Candice Ann Moraga


Every time that I was hit

Every time I was forced to submit

Each time I felt like shit

It was all I could do to endure it

A little piece inside of me cried

A little piece inside of me died

More hurt and rage I am forced to hide

More blackness and darkness festers inside

I cannot seem to make it right

I cannot seem to turn towards the light

Peace hovers just out of my sight

And nightmares haunt me in the night

Will this shit hold me down for all my life?

Will it cause me endless and ceaseless strife?

Will no one deem me a suitable wife?

Will I never feel safe, though I carry a knife?

Won’t someone see the good in me?

Won’t someone love me, and set my heart free?

Won’t someone make me squeal with glee?

And won’t someone kiss this damn bruise on my knee?

It’s killing me – all the pain I conceal

I want to forgive – I want to heal

People don’t like when I show the real deal –

Makes them uncomfortable when I reveal

I can’t even write on the back on that page

The ink shows through, hard pressed from the rage

I thought that I would feel better with age

I’d be somehow older and wiser – a sage

The mask I’d adopted to hide my pain

Has, of my existence, become the bane

All sweetness external – a Candi cane

Inside the turmoil, the storm clouds, the rain

But people don’t want to be brought down

They prefer a forced smile over a frown

And this is a cold and heartless town

Where they jam-pack the bars – In their beers, they drown

Once again, I am forced to play the clown




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