The Queen Fades Away

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

She is old, definitely 11 since that is how long she has been on the throne with us; maybe 13 or 14 with an average life span of 13-15. She wanders the entire yard in her outings to relieve herself. She circumnavigates the outer edge. I don’t know if it’s to maintain her internal GPS since she is almost blinded by cataracts or just the wanderings of an old lady.

She is old, definitely 11 since that is how long she has been on the throne with us; maybe 13 or 14 with an average life span of 13-15. She wanders the entire yard in her outings to relieve herself. She circumnavigates the outer edge. I don’t know if it’s to maintain her internal GPS since she is almost blinded by cataracts or just the wanderings of an old lady. She is either deaf or just willfully ignores me. She is strong and devoted and a mother of three. She has been a great companion to us all, but more so to her master, her constant companion for most of her years who is a continent away pursuing his own future without her. She routinely wanders to the front door, the bathroom, and his room looking for him. I don’t know if she feels loneliness or sadness in his absence, but I feel it for her as she wanders about on her daily search.

Recently, I caught her walking in a small concentric circle in the yard, unable to stop as though a brain synapse failed and she was stuck in a sad cycle of life’s approaching epilog. She stumbles for no apparent reason and walks into things not typically in her known path. It saddens me to know what is coming and sends me back forever ago seeing my mom on her death bed rambling on, gently, about something not even she probably understood; mentally walking in circles, and I recalled my own leaving just four short years before in May of ‘75’ to pursue my future, and leave her behind to wonder about her life as she stumbled those final steps in an alcohol induced state after the last of us, my younger sister by 3 years had turned eighteen; the same path her sorry husband took so many years before, but without living the hardship of raising 7 children and losing 2 others within their first year of life; the coward who ran away at the first sign of difficulty?

 

Toby, The Queen's 'not so better half' pays her no mind, oblivious to her difficulties and slow deterioration, much like my mom’s ‘not so better half’ who was oblivious to the life time of difficulties he subjected her to through his cowardly abandonment of his responsibilities as a man, as a father; safely tucked away in his drunken stupor at the bottom of a bottle with only one mouth to feed and his only concern being where will the next drink come from. He gave me nothing as a man, but was generous enough to leave me his genetic propensity for addictive behavior which made a contribution to my life that may have proven beneficial, but not without pushing me to the edge of the alcoholic abyss on more than one occasion.

 

This Queen, this mother of three and faithful companion of many years will spend her final days being comforted and catered to. In her final moments she will fade away in the embrace of those who love her, not alone in the antiseptic environment of a hospital bed.


Submitted: March 09, 2014

© Copyright 2021 CapoMike. All rights reserved.

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