Tales of the Life of an Alcoholic

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
about my drunken days after my husband left me

Submitted: October 01, 2007

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Submitted: October 01, 2007

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God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.(From Unknown Author to Me)

My Tales are First then I have listed some text from an unknown author With information On Alcoholism. Please Read This all. If not my words then read the bottom half

These are my Tales.
My drinking started just on the weekends, Then turned to one extra day a week, Then everyday it seemed.
I at first thought I didn’t have a problem with it. I told my self that My problems was my personality. I was very shy and people at the bars accepted me for who I was. I had never felt like that before.I was an excellent pool player, and loved to compete against people it was fun. I'd take on two guy's and beet them both. They were pissed but at the same time they loved that, I was an excellent pool player. I could attract anyone and everyone in a bar and I ate it up. I just thought I was addicted to the attention not the alcohol at first The alcohol was there yeah but that wasn't what interested me at first.When my ex husband left for an older women things got worse. I drank morning, noon, night, at church, at softball games, just where ever. I carried a water bottle with me and poured clear alcohol in it no one even knew the difference. It didn't even smell like alcohol, just told people if they asked that it was a fruity water.I had quit my job that I had been working at for 3 years, I was a Kennel Tech at Petland. I moved in with my parents. Then one night I got a stupid Dui. After, I got a job in the town I was born in at My Distant Cousin's Bar she had just opened, I was a cook. I worked during the day and at night, I'd drink. I got to know the Bartender, He was really nice, and very smart, and had many friends.One evening my co-worker said did Mark (bartender) say something to you. I said no Why ? She wouldn't tell me I was curious so I started Hanging around after the bar closed and helped him clean up, play a few games of pool then go home.After a few days of this he invited me to have breakfast, so we went and ate. That night things turned intimate. Just a few innocent kisses. I had fallen In love again. Didn't think that could happen cause I was still stalking my husband trying to get him back. But It did, and I was falling in love with Mark.
We acted like nothing was going on at work but people knew for the way we acted around each other, and they knew because I refused to leave when the bar closed for the night. I was in love but yet I kept drinking. Thought that I could but couldn't he tried to help, taking me to alcoholics anonymous but he didn't know that my water was spiked.He knew I had recently gotten a dui and he tried to help me all he could but things just got worse.I got fired from the bar Out of Jealousy. The manager liked Mark and the excuse was for my firing , You are embarrassing my company , by drinking after hours. I told them your retarded, I never caused problems in here that's no excuse. Two weeks later Mark Quit. Was unhappy cause he couldn’t see me everyday.I then became a land surveyor worked that job for 2 years. I found a guy that my ex husbands girlfriend had been living with and hooked him up with a job there he also was a drunk. We had something in common. Plus I used him to get information on my ex husband. We'd drink on the weekends mostly together. Mark didn't like this but I needed a drink to get my mind off my ex husband.I became pregnant with Mark's child and lost it due to the drinking at four months of pregnancy in September I was devastated. So more and more I drank with Gary my co-worker, Mark became more jealous of me and I thought we'd split up actually We did we had gotten an Apartment together and he had taken my stuff to my grandmother's but later that day we made up and we brought the stuff back .In October it was time for me to go See my probation officer, he actually was a school mate of mine, though I never talked to him. Some one had snitched on me and. He tested me for Alcohol that morning and I tested .048 at 8:30 am Unfortunately I went to jail for 30 days . Was pissed all to hell. I know it had to of been Mark but he swears up and down to the day it wasn't him. The P.O. only knew what Me and Mark had known So That’s why I think it was him. So I spent 30 days in the click thought this would be good for me I didn't want to drink when I got out but as you know I was becoming an alcoholic and went straight back at it.My boss kept my job for me we were really close. Him and he's wife were an older couple from Missouri and they had taken I liking to me. I also Had been there first women Surveyor and was damn good at what I did. They got me Involved with They're side job Quixtar, the new Amway. Wasn't very good at it because of my personality. But I humored him by setting up meetings with people and letting him help me talk. They even invited me to Missouri To the Adams Mark Hotel across from the Arch gate way to the west. It was beautiful (David Emmit Slagle passed away this year due to Cancer God Bless His Soul). Anyway I went back to work and began taking alcohol with me. Gary as well did to I had to pick him up b/c he didn't have a car and we drank through out the day together sneaking to a bar on lunch as well.One night I had my son . Actually We had been trading weeks with him and I did the most stupid thing I had never drank during the weeks I had him. But one night I had become stressed and drank, I was at my grandparents house And they were gone, It was late. about 8 or so I had passed out and was woke up with what the heck are you doing sleeping do you see what trysten has done . He had gotten a hold of a permanent marker and Colored all over the Kitchen cabinets I was so Embarrassed.About in the middle of December I had gone out with Gary again that night we were by my sisters house and Decided to go and see If we could stay there for the night Her boyfriend started arguing with me and pushed me out the door and I hit the concrete, I got up and decked his ass. And He then again pushed me down and Was about to hit me And Gary grabbed him. We left and he called the cops on me They picked me up on the freeway and took us to the station And gave us a breathalyzer test Thank god I passed don't know how but I did. I called Mark He came and picked me up. I didn't dare tell him I was with Gary again. We went and got my car and I took off to go get Gary, Mark hot on my tail. Wasn't supposed to be driving cops told me to pick my car up in the morning. Anyway I got Gary and we managed to get away from Mark and I drove to work and let myself in and we staid there for the night cause I couldn’t go home to Mark to embarrassing, and I didn't want the argument.A few weeks later I was at my parents house and I told them I needed help. They said like what I said I don’t know Im drinking to much did you see what I did to Jonathon. He deserved it though He pushed me first.Another week went by and I was In a bar alone during the day . All of I sudden I see cops Pull up out the window and My dad behind him. Don't know how he found my car because I had hidden it behind the building. Dumb luck I guess I tried to run out the back door But my damn Uncle was there. Tried to run Out another Exit and A cop was there tried to run around the bar but they had me surrounded. DAMN!!! My dad and my uncle took me to Talbot Hall an Alcohol rehab and Admitted me. I was trying to get a hold of Mark On the phone And Couldn't hadn't talked to him in days. I know he had to be worried. They nurse gave me A sleeping pill but I had so much alcohol in my system that it didn’t matter. I had been drinking Beer mixed with A Rusty nail And sucking im down Probably had about ten or so . I heard the elevator coming up as I was trying to reach Mark again As soon as the nurse stepped out and the door almost shut I darted out. I hitched a ride with some old black man to Mark's house. He was having a nervous breakdown was about to kill himself. I showed up and we comforted each other I told him I was sorry and What I had been through that night. We then went to get my car and it was gone so we drove to my parents house and there it sit I got in and tried to start it and Wouldn't you know it My DAMN dad had rigged it so it wouldn't start what an Ass.A few days later I got my car back cause I needed to get to work. And I needed to Take Gary to work also. Its January by now Me and Gary went out again after work . drinking and playing pool as always. Gary had disappeared for I while so I went looking for him. I went out side and my damn car was gone So I went next door to the gas station and called mark and the cops and reported my car stolen . Before the cops came I saw him pull back in to the bar I went up drug his ass out punched him in the face jumped in and headed towards grandpas house On my way there here comes the sirens and lights Shit.... I pulled over . They asked for registrations and license I gave it to them They said this car's been stolen I said yeah I found it and the idiots back at the bar where I left him . They said Mame have you been drinking I said what do ya think . I was getting smart with them I knew I was going to jail and I didn’t matter. They said would ya please get out of the car we are going to give you a test. Of course a failed. But Out of No Where He comes my savior to the rescue. Mark Told them what was happening and that'd if he'd let me drive to my grandpa's a few blocks away he'd follow me and make sure I didn't go any where else but with him And Wouldn't ya know I was let go . God was watching over me that Night Again I believe. They did pick Gary up and He spent the night In jail.After that I began to realize and listen to my inner self. That's enough You gotta stop this or Your gonna be up shit creak without a paddle. That night was it. No More. From then on out I had a beer every now and then With Mark's super Vision. He took me to work each day and picked me up in the evening's He helped me through the shake's the misery, and what not. I worked my job for another year until November When I became pregnant with Our son Logan Mark's First Son. He had 5 daughter's Logan was very special to him. His ex wife was jealous though because I gave him a boy She started hitting heavy on the child support . They had 3 daughters together. 2 other daughter s were from previous women. 18 months went by and we had a daughter Bertie Grace named for my grandmother who had passed April 2004. This was the first daughter I had had So we traded. I gave him a son He gave me a daughter. I than k him from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me thorough all my ordeal's . I wish there was more people out there like him to help Other's if it was not for him I d probably be dead or have killed someone by now . He is My savior . Im glad God Led him to Me.

Now for the inspirational part For all those children out there head my words That can't wait till they turn 21 one to drink. Drinking aint all its cracked up to be its misleading. One minute your out having a good time with friends. Thinking its all cool. It is at first. but then the next. It turns into going out for a drink instead of going out with friends. It creeps up on ya. You think You don't have a problem. You make up excuses to your self. Don't do it like I did drinking every weekend, every weekend turns into three days a week then four days a week then drinking before work then drinking at lunch and etc. Alcohol is a drug It is addictive You don't know it at first because it's a new experience. Why people like getting drunk I have no clue for When you wake up in the morning you may be sick, you may have a head ache, You may wake up to someone you don't know and end up with some kind of Disease. Thank God I never went Home with any one For if I had I 'd probably have some kind of disease right know. I was more interested in drinking than sex.For all those out there that think that they may have a problem YOU DO listen to your self It's your own body telling you to stop Your hurting it . Or it may Be God speaking to you. Please get help. Noone will think Your stupid And If they Do to hell with em . Its Your Life and They should stay the hell out of it unless there family. Those people are the devil tempting you into further Drunkenness. You may end up getting a Dui I always told my self I wouldn't but Wouldn't Ya know it did happen to me. I drove excellent with beers in my system So I thought. All it take is the right time and the right place for them sneaky bastards to pull up on your tail.For all of you out there that have friends that you think have a problem tell them they do. Get other friends and family members to tell them that they do have a problem. They NEED HELP. Go to an AA meeting grab a book and mysteriously place it where they'll find it. Give them Lots of room though don't storm in all at once. Go about it a little at a time. Sometimes they know they have a problem and All they need is a little push in the right direction . They do it on there own. Some time you just gotta Put your foot down like my dad did and snatch em up Don't be afraid to ask the police for help 7 times out of 10 They 'll do it.

This is my Story to Help me Heal, and it is long overdue to be told.

(From Unknown Author)
Alcoholism: A Serious Problem ? But Not Unbeatable!
Because of its legal availability and worldwide social acceptance, alcohol is an easy drug for users to abuse. Alcohol abuse, or alcoholism, is one of the most common and most costly drug addictions throughout the world. The majority of those who consume alcohol do so at least once a week, and, for most people, regular drinking on a social level does not create a dependency on the substance. There are, however, more than 17 million people in the US alone who do develop an alcohol addiction. A person suffering from alcoholism becomes so obsessed with drinking that it often interferes with their personal life, as well as work, family, and friends. An alcoholic craves alcohol and often stays preoccupied with when and where they will drink next. Once a person with alcohol dependency begins to drink, it is usually hard for them to know when they have had enough, continuing to drink until they are nauseas or passed out.Continued alcohol abuse creates a higher tolerance to the substance, meaning the person needs to drink more and more to feel the effects they are accustomed to feeling. Alcohol addiction is a physical dependency as well as psychological, so most of those with an alcohol problem experience a number of physical symptoms if they do not drink, including nausea, shakiness, and sweating.Long term alcohol abuse can cause a variety of health problems, as well as psychological and social conditions. Excessive drinking can lead to heart disease and problems with the liver and pancreas. Neurological problems, sexual dysfunction, and increased risks of several cancers are also associated with alcoholism.When a person begins to consume alcohol at inappropriate times or in unsuitable places, their alcohol dependency will affect their social and personal life. While under the influence of alcohol, an abuser’s actions may cause conflicts with friends and family, often leading to divorce or domestic violence. Children of a person who suffers from alcoholism can experience severe damage to their emotional development, sometimes lasting into adulthood. Excessive drinking can also create problems at work because of poor performance or attendance due to hangovers or other alcohol related incidents.There are a number of different opinions about the best help for a person with an alcohol dependency. Detoxification, which is a complete stop to drinking with the substitution of regulated doses of a similar drug, is one method preferred by those who view alcoholism as a disease. There are also a number of medications available for those dealing with alcohol withdrawal.Moderation Management is a program that encourages moderation of alcohol consumption rather than complete abstinence, with a 17.7 percent success rate in 2002. Counseling and support groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous, are also proven methods of recovering from alcohol dependency. Social and emotional support during recovery is another vital part of overcoming an alcohol addiction.The author of this article would like you to visit
http://www.markhoustonrecovery.com/alcoholism_addiction_and_dependency.php and http://www.markhoustonrecovery.com/sitemap.php.

Symptoms
The difference between heavy drinking and alcoholism is based not on the amount that is being drunk but on the way, the drinking is affecting the life of the drinker.Depression And Alcoholism, Disorders Tied Together
Alcohol is used by people for creating a good mood but in essence it is one of the main causes of depression. Alcoholism will produce many of the signs and symptoms of depression. A.A.'s Twelve StepsPart of the recovery program that A.A. suggests is set forth in the Twelve Steps listed on page 15. Based on the experience of A.A.'s earliest members, the Steps are a record of the principles and practices they developed to maintain sobriety (after many other approaches had failed). If the alcoholic in your life shrinks from the idea that a formal code of behavior will be required, you can put his or her mind at ease. Each member uses the Steps in an individual way. The Steps are suggested program of recovery. Although experience shows that many A.A. members' comfort in sobriety depends, to an extent, on their understanding and acceptance of the Steps, no A.A. member is forced to accept or even read ? them. It is up to the individual to decide when and how the Steps, will be used.
THE TWELVE STEPS
OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.A.A.'s Twelve Steps


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