Missing You, Dinah

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

CheetahBear's Challenge: Fiona Hamilton has never gotten over her sister Dinah's deat. But when a camping trip falls in her path, who knew that it could change her life forever..........?

We were your typical campers. Sitting by a bonfire, roasting marshmallows, and singing songs. One of them sang, “Camp Rock! We really rock! Camp Rock! No need to talk!” It got a big round of applause, but not from me. The only sound that came from me was my rhythmic breathing, and even that I was trying to soften. I edged closer to the fire, the flames bursting in my face. It created a spark in me, as if a jolt of contentment bolted up my back. The fire was so entrancing, that I reached out my hand, and touched the dancing flames. “Ouch!” I exclaimed, withdrawing my hand. A few kids cast a fleeting glance at me, and I carefully avoided eye contact with them.

Instead, I concentrated on the voracious flames of the bonfire. There was an image…it was still swirling around until the picture finally made sense. My sister, Dinah. Her tangled black hair had become twisted in the flames and her smile burnt a hole in me inside. Her chocolate brown eyes were also smiling at me, her hands waving.

It had been almost a year since Dinah died of cancer.It was a very tough obstacle, trying to forget her.She was what you’d call the perfect sister. I don’t know how to explain her to you-if you spent even one minute with her, you’d understand. And I spent only thirteen years with her. That was like eating only a crumb of bread. “Elephant rides! Elephant rides! C’mon, folks! They’re for free!” Ms. Granger announced, and a big group of campers walked to the elephant ride lines. At first glance, you could see that they really wanted to ride that thing. Ever since I was young, I used to have this phobia for big animals. Dinah never did, though. I sighed, and pulled my head closer to my knees, and buried it in the gap between my arms.

“Fiona? Don’t you want to ride the Indian elephants? They’re really fun, you know.” Ms. Granger was touching my arm gently, and the hairs on it perked up a little. I shook my head and plastered on a smile. “Um, no thanks. I prefer keeping myself from getting crushed by…..big animals.” Ms. Granger laughed, but she left me. Somehow, the echoes of Ms. Granger’s laughter slowly turned to Dinah’s tinkling laugh. God, I needed to stop thinking about her all the time! I got on my feet, brushed the dirt off my pants, and proceeded to the elephant rides line, despite my fear.“Fiona! I see you’re ready to ride one. Why don’t you ride Wendy? She’s a real dear on beginners, being a mother and all.” Ms. Granger said, obviously pleased.

I nodded my head, fully knowing that it was too late to turn back now. I sighed as a man boosted me up on Wendy. At first, I was scared; I was so high! The trees brushed by my head, the leaves crackling as they did so. The clouds were moving in, and the sun was hiding behind them. Suddenly, I felt victorious. Joyous, was the correct word. The clouds formed Dinah’s face, and once again, she was smiling. Her lips formed the words ‘I love you’ just before she disappeared. I don’t know how to explain what exactly made me happier, really. I can’t explain everything! But I’ll tell you this. When you know that your sister is happy in heaven, you just can’t help being happy either.

When I came down from Wendy, Ms. Granger was smiling as she said, “So, Fiona, how did you like the ride?”

I couldn’t help grinning at her. “It was great!” And I bounded away.

I settled close-up with the bon-fire, the intense flames directed at me. The fire was so entrancing, that I reached out my hand, and touched the dancing flames. And this time, it didn't hurt.

Submitted: January 17, 2009

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Add Your Comments:



This was short, but sweet. I love how you twisted it around to something that I would not have thought of. Your sentence was in the first paragraph as I asked, but it wasn't anywhere in the end..that's ok, your chances of winning are less likely, but I still liked your story, I saw your animal in there and it was great. Elephant rides are fun! I have been on it once. I'm glad that she finally got over her sisters death though. Oh and I didn't see your word...did you use Obstacle in there? Hmm, this was great.

Thanks for taking part in my challenge!

I'll be judging soon!

Sat, January 17th, 2009 8:34pm


Oh....oops! I forgot that we had to put it in the last paragraph. Can I change it now? AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO YOU OBSTACLE TOO! Agh! I just can't get anything right! And yes, elephant rides ARE fun.

Sat, January 17th, 2009 10:59pm


That was sweet. :) How did Dinah die?

Sat, January 17th, 2009 11:57pm


I changed it, so it's cancer.

Sun, January 18th, 2009 4:59am


duh, kylie, it mentioned that dinah had died of cancer! no offense.
but mel... awesome story! I really liked it. :) lol!

Sun, January 18th, 2009 9:33am


No....i changed it. Updated it. So Kylie, it's OKAY!!! And thax so much lil! I'm so glad you like it!

Sun, January 18th, 2009 4:55am


Wow, it was so much better this time around! I mean I loved it the first time and all, but Wow! You did everything that I asked you to, and it's okay that you had to go back, I guess that I wasn't very clear in my directions :) I'll try to be next time! I loved how you used the last line, and you said that it didn't hurt her to touch it this time. I felt as though Dinah was watching over her that time around! I'm glad that she is finally healing from her broken heart, and that she found out that Dinah is happy where she is! Amazing! Thanks for going back and doing as I asked :)

Tue, January 20th, 2009 11:19pm


Yu're welcome, Kayla! I'm so glad that I was able to sort of change your mind......thanks for that! Can't WAIT till Feb 1!

Wed, January 21st, 2009 8:53am

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