Fuck You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
The poem is not what you think its about. Dont judje a book by its cover. Dont judge a poem by its title. Hope you enjoy!! :)

Submitted: April 21, 2015

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Submitted: April 21, 2015

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F- F is for all the fun times i had with you that are all gone now.All of those days when we would just be cuddling on the couch watching tv and playing video  games. Or the day when we shot the guns outside. And all those times we went outside with your crossbow competing to see who could get the arrow in the exact spot. I miss all of those times, But do you?
 

U- U is for the unmistakeable pain in my heart. Its easy to understand that you dont love me. The hard part is accepting it. I dont know if u realize or even care, But i really fucking loved you. And still do after all the bullshit.
 

C- C is for the cuts that have peirced my arm and wrist. When you left me i didint know whether i was gonna be able to take it. I havent cut in 3 years. Ive always found another way to cope, but i broke. We have been through so much crap that it surprises me how easily you let go.

K- K is for the kisses that i miss so much. Every time you kissed me, i felt relief. You were my refuge when i was havinng trouble or when i was in pain. You were my hero. I dont know what im gonna do without you.


 

The blank space in the middle represents the emptiness inside of me. You were my other half. You were my life and i have nothing now. Nothing to fill the emptiness. I been sitting around every second, of every hour, of every day for the last month trying to figure out what in the hell i did wrong. I just dont understand.


Y- Y is for…..well…. Y??? Y did you leave? Y did you have to do me like this? Then go back to that other bitch? Was i just not good enough? What did i ever do to you? It hurt me when i read all those lies you told her about me. Y did you tell those lies? Tell me truthfully when i ever fucking hit you. Or a time when i threw my phone at you yelling at you. Y all these lies? Y the goodbye?
 

O- O is for the obsesssion we had for each other. All the things we used to do together and say to each other. I was there for you on christmas, your birthday, New Years. And you were there for me. We did everything together. We would have died for each other. What hapened to all the promises you made me? I thought you loved me.
 

U- U is for the unrealistic feeling thing i am feeling. I want to think that all of this is a really bad nightmare and every time i wake up in the morning im gonna be in my bed, in my room, with my phone right beside me to text you the minute i wake up. But then every time i wake up im still sitting in this fucking shelter wondering what is going to happen to me. I live day by day not knowing whats going to happen.


All of this is coming from my heart. I don’t know what happen to us.i thought we were gonna be forever. That’s what you said. You promised you would never leave. Well that’s funny bcz you fucking left. theres one song i listen to every day that is exactly what i’m feeling. I have made some modifications to fit how im feeling. Its called “Just a dream” by Carrie Underwood. When you get the chance, listen to it;

“Baby why’d you leave me?
Why’d you to go?

I was counting on forever,
Now I’ll never know.
I can’t even breath.

Im lookin from a distance

Standing in the background.
And all i keep thinking is
‘He’s not coming back now.’
This can’t be happening to me.
This is just a dream.”


And theres something else i wrote for you. I don’t know if you care but here it is..;


“ You see that girl? She looks so happy right? Telling jokes, smiling, laughing, having a great time and…. dying inside. Shes hurt. Shes tired. Tired of all the drama,tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesnt want to look dramatic, weak, and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything is perfect, but cries at night. So everybody thinks shes the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is perfect. If only they knew the truth…. If only they knew how many sleepless nights she has suffered from bcz of all the stuff that is going on  in her life. If they only knew that she goes to her room at night and cuts her wrist, then hides the scars with barcelets. When people ask her why she is wearing them, she smiles and says “Just fashon” but in all reality, shes broken. And she became even more broken when the love of her life left her. All of this is almost too much for her to take and she thinks every night about just putting an end to her pain. Maybe going a little deeper tonight. Why not??? She has already lost everything that meant anything to her anymore so who cares?? If only people knew that this is what she is going through, And these were her thoughts every night, Then they would realize that she is a completely different person then they think she is…….”


© Copyright 2020 Caroline Gates. All rights reserved.

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