So I had a moment where for no real defining reason I just sat back closed my eyes and feel the sting of tears and I thought what do I have to complain about here I am with friends,
family, food, clothes...life but it’s still like something’s missing…and I realized my life is filled with all the things in it except it’s missing me. Everyone looks at me like a brick wall…
they need to lean and of course I am here. But whose suppose to hold me when I start to lean. And then again there’s the tug of war effect where I'm standing in the center of a
circle surrounded by everyone important to me so that every direction I move in I’m closer to something and pulling away from something else. In this brief moment where I had a few seconds to
myself I forced myself to take a look at myself. And I know I am important to so many people that I became unimportant to myself. I’ve lost myself, but I also realize that all is not lost
and that I’m not going to change because I am this way for a reason I am the support system of many and it gives me purpose. With out me as harsh as it may sound I would hope that
they would all crumble if even just a little because it would mean that I mattered. If I took the time I wish I could to find myself they would lose me and maybe mattering to many is better than
mattering to one. Myself.
© Copyright 2016 CarolJoe. All rights reserved.