Mary

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
When I was in college I spent a semester on campus. There was a cable line, but no TV (you had to provide it yourself. I guess they figured if it was yours you couldn't steal it). Anywho, I had no computer in there wither, and I did not have a roommate so I was bored at many times (when I wasn't doing homework or working). So I spent much time reading the bible. I decided to read the book, and as I was reading (because I am crazy) I started to think of the people in the bible and how they would live if they were living in 2003 (thats the year I was on campus). That's where I got Joseph from and that's where this skit (Mary) comes from. I thought how would Mary say today, to her mother (being a teenager), that she is pregnant (and of course not married). I present to you Mary.

PS this is another skit in my published book, which you can purchase.

PSS I am a believer so I am in no way making fun. (not trying to offend).

Submitted: May 12, 2008

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Submitted: May 12, 2008

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CHARACTERS
MOM
MARY
 
MOM
(Mom is cleaning the house, Mary enters). Hi, Mary.
 
MARY
(Mary sits) Hi, mom.
 
MOM
Uh-Oh, something’s wrong. I can tell by your face. So just be straight with me. What’s wrong?
 
MARY
Before I tell you I know you’re going to be upset, but there’s an explanation of it all.
 
MOM
Just spit it out
 
MARY
I’m pregnant
 
MOM
What?! Mary, but you’re not married. Who is it, what man defiled my baby.
 
MARY
Mom, please calm down, let me explain.
 
MOM
Just tell me who it is. It’s that Joe boy, isn’t it?
 
MARY
Well, believe it or not mom, I’m still a virgin. God impregnated me.
 
MOM
Is this a joke, Mary, you think I was born yesterday. How in heaven or in hell can God get you pregnant? I don’t understand why kids blame God when they do something wrong.
 
MARY
Mom, you don’t understand. An angel came to me in a dream and—
 
MOM
What’s an angel got to do with this?
 
MARY
Mom, if you would just understand. God needed someone to carry His child, and he chose me. Isn’t that exciting?
 
MOM
You won’t think so after you give birth to the thing. Do you know how much your body is going to change? You know, instead of just telling me the truth, you go around lying to me.
 
MARY
Mom, I’m not lying. You know when I’m lying.
 
MOM
I sure do, your mouth shakes, your eyes roll and your feet clap.
 
MARY
Am I doing any of those?
 
MOM
(Pause) Oh, my gosh, you really have been chosen. So, God picked you. Why didn’t He pick me?
 
MARY
I don’t know.
 
MOM
So, my baby is giving birth to the messiah. I don’t believe this. What are you naming him or her?
 
MARY
I’m naming Him Jesus.
 
MOM
Jesus? What kind of name is that? You should go with Howard, or Mark or even Babalulu.
 
MARY
God told me to name Him Jesus.
 
MOM
I’m gonna have to talk to God about that.
 
 
END SCENE


© Copyright 2017 Casey Bell. All rights reserved.

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