When I was little.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

When I was little, Memoirs of Johanna Mason

My mother sometimes used to tell me stories of when I was little. Before I was born, and even after, she and my father would argue about how they would pronounce my name. A lot of pronounciations came into question. Joe-hannah, Joe-ana, Joe-hon-uh, Joe-on-uh.

My father argued it should be Joe-ana, while my mother argued it should be Joe-hon-uh.

They couldn't decide, so they would call me either one until I was old enough to decide for myself.

I chose Joey. All of the options above would be too... girly for me. But when people ask for my full name, I tell them Joe-hon-uh.

My mother was never really around as a child, nor was she through my teen years, and she still only sees me once every few years now that I'm twenty-three.

Five Years Old

I was in the forest on the outskirts of town with my father, chopping down trees. He looked at me, picked me up and held me on the shoulders, and told me,

"You see this, Joey? This is a Johanna tree. But nobody knows how to pronounce the name. It's what we named you after."

"Why did you name me after a tree, daddy?" I had asked, giggling. Smelling the pine needles. Smelling the forest. The forest was my favorite place to be.

"Look around, Jo." He said quietly, spinning in circles so I could see every different type of tree in the forest. "Jo, we named you after this tree, because it's the most beautiful. And you're the most beautiful little girl in all of district seven!" He lifted me off his shoulders and kissed me on the nose and I giggled.

Ten years Old

It was a warm April day. I ran home from school that day, excited to tell my mother and father about a new boy I met at school.

His name was blight, and he was a sixth year. I was only a fifth year, and he talked to me. I remember, I was so excited that someone a year older than me talked to me.

He waseleven years old. That was probably the most exciting thing that could happen to a ten year old in district 7, 13 years ago. Well, maybe besides a seventh year talking to you.

"Daddy! One of his friends told me my dress was pretty!"

"Oh well did you say thankyou?"

"Uhuh! I said, thanks, but I don't like wearing dresses much."

"And what did he say?"

"Well, his friend told me it was a shame. Then Blight told me it was sad because they made me look so beautiful!" I had giggled. All my friends were jealous of blighttelling me that I looked beautiful.

Fourteen Years Old

"God I am so UGLY!" I shouted from my upstairs room, looking in the full length mirror. I was already running late for school, but I didn't care. Right now, there was a bigger problem in Johanna-land.

I tried hiking my skirt up and down different ways, tucking and untucking my skirt, doing my hair in different ways.

"UGH!" I groaned. I looked over and saw my father, face in hand, rubbing his temples.

"Sweetie, you don't have to yell I'm right here." he had said.

"Yes, I do! There is a NATIONAL EMERGENCY ON HAND!" I had shouted back at him.

"And what is that?" he asked, sitting down and rubbing my back.

"Didn't you hear me? I look DISGUSTING!" I shouted again.

"Sweetie you look gorgeous," He had said, stroking my hair. "Honey, school starts in ten minutes, your school is a five minute walk away. We'd better get a move on,"

"How. Can I leave the house?" I asked. "When I'm so goddamn ugly!?" I shouted again.

"You can't." He said.

I looked at him quizzically. "That's why we're leaving the house right now. Because you don't look ugly."

I ended up leaving, but not voluntarily, and definitely not happily. But on the way to school on my last day as an eighth year, (where I would be graduating to second school), my friend Pine greeted me. We had been friends since fifth year, when she told me how right Blight was when he complimented me. Pine was always telling me I was beautiful. I never believed her.

After my dad left, Pine remarked "Oh my God! Johanna!" Pine was the only person other than my father I let call me by my real name.

"Ugh. I know, I look hideous, you don't have to tell me, Pine." I said sighing greatly, my shoulders moving at least 3 feet up into the air.

"Jo! You've never looked ugly a day in your life!" She said. I rolled my eyes at first, but then I felt something. It was Pine's hand interlacing with mine.

It was from that moment on, that I knew, I was never meant to like boys.

Fifteen Years Old.

On the first day of ninth year, when I was fifteen years old, Pine came up to say hello and I asked her about it.

I took a deep breath and said, "Pine, what did you mean by holding my hand last summer?"

She looked at me and closed her eyes, "I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that."

"And why?"

"Because, I don't know what it meant."

"What do you want it to mean?" I asked her, scared of what her answer might be.

"I don't know. What did you want it to mean?" She sighed.

I took a deep breath, swallowed hard and said, "Pine, I like you a lot. Like more than a friend."

That day she kissed me on the mouth. I felt something I had never felt before. Sparks. Travelling between me and Pine's lips. She pulled away and smiled.

"I was hoping you would say that" She smiled and kissed me again.

Seventeen Years Old.

It was the day of the reaping, and Pine came over to help me do my hair-- she could do this awesome braided bun that I so desperately wished I could do, alas, her numerous attempts to teach me failed. Miserably.

"Joey," She sighed. "Jo, I want you to know that if I get reaped, I love you."

"I love you too," I smiled back, and kissed her on the mouth.

"But why would you say something like that?" I asked her, suddenly worried.

"Jo! We all know that ifIget reaped, I won't stand a chance."

"Pine!" I had shouted, "Don't talk like that!"

"It's true!" She countered.

We walked hand in hand to the square next to the justice building where the reaping was taking place.

We stood in the seventeen year old section.

"Ladies first!" Our announcer, Radia, had said. She reached into the bowl, and Pine gave my hand a squeeze.

"Remember," she said, "If I get called, I love you"

Radia smoothed the paper.

"Johanna Mason."

Pine and i hadn't even discussed what would happen ifIgot reaped.

That day, in the justice hall during our goodbyes, Pine said, "Look, Jo. You're stronger than them. You've been handling an axe since you were five years old, and you know how to do this. Baby. I believe in you." We kissed a little until the peacekeepers escorted her out.

Eighteen Years Old.

I had my birthday in the arena. .

But I fought. And I fought. And I fought. For Pine.

And when I got back, Blight's mother was the one who told me the news.

Pine and my father were caught stealing something to eat, sincemy father was too old to work, and Pine too young.

They were both executed on the spot.

I had nobody left to love

Twenty Three Years Old.

The quarter quell. And I get reaped again. Great.

But it doesn't matter anymore. There's no one left I love.

But when I get into the arena, there's something about Katniss. And it just... it erks me. She's so perfect. So... I don't know.

But in the arena, Finnick tells me, "Joey, be nice to her."

"Why should I?" I had countered.

"Because. I said so."

Finnick had been the closest thing to an older brother I had ever had, at only a year older than me. So I was nice to Katniss.

I got to know her. I ended up liking her. She was so sarcastic, and perfect, the very thing that made me hate her before.

And then I realized-- I loved Katniss Everdeen.

Twenty Four Years old.

I had my birthday in the arena again. Twenty four. The big two four.

Not that it mattered anyway. But the day after my birthday was when I was lifted out of the arena. But not by the rebels, as I had expected.

But by the Capitol.

They tortured me, forcing me to give up information about Katniss, but I refused.

Because I loved Katniss Everdeen.

Submitted: April 04, 2012

© Copyright 2022 catoandclovesknives. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Gosh, I didn't think of any of this like that! xD Ugh, I need to stop reading other people's entries, then I get jealous and want to stop writing mine. xD Ok, JK, but this was really good. My only suggestion is that some of the words were clumped together, and when you did italics, they were also clumped together with the word before it. :D

Wed, April 4th, 2012 11:26pm


Thanks:) And my booksie writer thing is all messed up so when you backspace it like clumps words together. I tried to fix it all but it got jacked up and a;sfjdasd;kfjasd. Grr.

Wed, April 4th, 2012 5:20pm


Oh my! Dude this is amazing! xD I loved it! You should really turn this into a novel or extend it! I want to know what happens to Joanna! Well done its awsomet!~chloe~ xox

Fri, April 6th, 2012 2:08pm


Well I might, but I'm busy right now with my Clato fanfiction(:

Sat, April 21st, 2012 9:49pm


I like it! best of luck to you! May the odds be EVER in your favor :)

Sat, April 7th, 2012 1:12am



Sat, April 21st, 2012 9:44pm


You are an amazing writer. Freaking fantastic! People like you make reading a whole lotta fun!


By the way, do you have a Fanfiction. Net account? Link, please?

Tue, May 8th, 2012 6:27pm

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