Seasonal Depression

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Seasonal Depression: A depression that occurs each year at the same time, usually starting in fall or winter and ending in spring or early summer.

Submitted: January 12, 2012

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Submitted: January 12, 2012



The season of new life,
Of babies crying,
Of responsible mothers
Taking care of their children.
All this serves to remind me
Of what I could have had;
Of what was lost,
Of the little boy
That wasn't meant to be.

The season of freedom,
Of quiet night life,
Of insomnia,
And restless, sleepless nights.
I have too much time---
To think and to wonder why,
And the thick blanket of air
That smells of fresh cut grass and honey
Just hinders and suffocates me.

The season of age,
Of too many sleeping pills,
Of watching the leaves fall
Out of the hospital window.
A nagging feeling,
A buzz in the back of my mind,
A warning that's unclear
But still very much there,
And thoughts that go unheeded.

The season of bitter cold,
Of frozen tears and blank stares,
Of death itself, and fear.
The diamond glint on snow,
Blinding me to everything else.
Tunnel vision, and the thought of rest,
The want, the need, to give up,
And to lay down,
Forever still and on my own.

Three hundred and sixty-five days,
Four seasons and plenty of mistakes.
Days wasted in withdrawn sadness,
In anger with myself,
And sometimes just a bitter loneliness.
A quick thought,
A bad dream,
A poor lie,
And long sleeves.
Sometimes I can hold it together,
And some days I can't breathe.
But I promise you this: You can't fix me...

© Copyright 2018 Cayli Ann. All rights reserved.

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