I opened the front door of my house to see some Christmas carolers. They started singing Deck the Halls in perfect harmony. If only it were that simple. I often times listen to Christmas songs or peoples wonderful christmas stories and wonder, 'why can't I have a Christmas like that?'
One time I even wrote a letter to myself about it.
You used to be a happy and fun time of year where my family and I could get together to celebrate the Lord Jesus Christ and have a good time. Not you're a major blow up catastrophy. What happened? Why can't I have one of you like everyone else? Why do they get the good things and I get people screaming at each other all season long? You've offically become my least favorite holiday.
Yeah, I know, weird. But it helped me get my feelings out. Feelings about everything I really don't feel like going into detail about.
As soon as the carolers were done I thanked them and closed the door. Then I went back into the living room and tried to listen to the TV over the sounds of my mom on the phone talking to someone and my dad in the kitchen cooking dinner. It wasn't easy. At all.
'Well I don't care. We've done that for sixteen years now. I'm done having to choose." My mom said into the phone. She paused a minute then spoke again. "Yes, but it's not fair to Angela to have to choose."
I sighed and went to my room where I could have at least some quiet. Until my dad came back. "Dinner is ready and you're mom wants to talk to you."
I went out and my mom sat in her chair with the phone by her side. She was on the computer checking her email and scowling. She looked up when she heard me coming. "Ang, you need to decide what you want to do for Christmas. BNoth sides of the familuy want to do things at the exact same time and, Since we can't travel through time, we have to choose."
The phone rang again and she answered it.
"Choose?" I whispered to myself. I couldn't choose between my families. They may both be obnoxious and insane at times but they're still family. And why was my mom putting this on me? I'm sixteen. I can't do this. I hav other stuff to deal with too. Like school. Finals were in two weeks and I still had a lot of crap that needed to be done. Like a Modern America project, a health notebook check and test, and english teacher I couldn't stand. And not to mention I had to prepare myself for our blow up Christmas.
My mom hung up the phone and looked at me. "Ok now we've got some times change. Grandma just said she'd do a Christmas brunch if you're other grandma is doing the afternoon Christmas."
"So I don't have to choose?"
"If everything works out, no."
I sighed in releif. Thank God.
Two weeks later, on Christmas day, we all got together at a family and had an... okay time. It was pretty much just like any other Christmas. Woopie. But at least I didn't have to chooce between all the people I love.
Deck the halls with hate and joy. They balance each other out.
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