heart broken...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

it is about myself seeing love at 1st site

It was the 1st term of 2008. I was excited to see all my friends and my teacher. I was dropped off at school at 8:15am I was nervous like a dog on Monday.  I took my bag from the car and put it on my back like I always did. I went inside my classroom put my bag down when I heard this person laughinglike an angel I was ran outside and see who it was. It was a new girl called katlien she had long blonde hair and blue eyes I was in love for the 1st time in my life.
I introduced myself to her I was smiling like a happy boy. She said nice to meet you Jordan my name is katlien we shook hands I knew this was my 1st true love because I had this feeling in myself. When all my friends came to school I was saying to them have you seen the new girl she is beautiful. They said well I can’t wait to see this girl and see how pretty she is. When school started I had this weird feeling she liked someone already. At lunch i went up to her and asked her do you like anyone? She said yes why? I said because I like you. She just stopped talking she said oh well i don’t like you sorry i like someone else I said that’s ok I walked of and thinking about her and thinking that same moment she said to me.
I was heartbroken my heart shattered into pieces i was so said i was crying that night I was so tired I went to bed and thinking  of her the hole night and i said to myself i will always love you katlien.


Submitted: June 21, 2008

© Copyright 2022 cetta. All rights reserved.

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Comments

SteelSniper

wow, u acted fast! Good job for your first try, My first was blood and water if your interested. ok It could have turned out better of you worked at it longer and you could have had a better start lake "the first term of 2008, I'll always remember it as when i fell in love". When u write another one try to make it longer, and the characters more defined. For instance, I as the reader knew nothing of this girl You need to put more time into explaining personality. Also the her appearance You did teh same as my first time, A tip work it into the story. like this.
"I ran into the hall to see a beautiful girl standing their talking with some friends, she turned around letting her golden-blond hair swing around.
"hi", i stammered, SHe smiled and a glint of amusement flashed over her Blue eyes"
I think next time u write one you should have vastly improved, Booksie tends to do taht 2 u!

Anyway, the important thign to remember is she wont be the last, im 14 anfd ivae already had 5 'true loves', lol. But still, keep chasing her!

Sat, June 21st, 2008 1:38pm

Author
Reply

thx man i will keep chasing her i promise ahahha well thx for the comment cya

Sat, June 21st, 2008 6:43am

Maple Bowen

It was a great attempt! I thought it could use a few touch ups like spell check, but other wise it was great! Keep it up, and if you ever post some more of your works let me know! =)
~Maple

Sat, June 21st, 2008 4:49pm

Author
Reply

thx i wil promise

Sat, June 21st, 2008 4:52pm

QueenRandomFollower

Awww! How sad! You're super duper brave for telling a girl you like her like that! I wish more boys were like you! All the other guys make a friend go and see if someone likes them or not, so then the friend has to be humiliated. You've got guts! I like that!
*Huggles!*

Sat, June 21st, 2008 4:57pm

Author
Reply

thx alot all my friends get there friends or me 2 go say 2 them

Sat, June 21st, 2008 4:17pm

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