Revenge of the White Man

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The poor white man. All these people are coming and taking everything from him. First his job. Then his house. Then his woman. But there's something up his sleeve - The Law of Diminishing Returns.

*** READ FROM THE BOTTOM UP. THIS WAS WRITTEN IN TWITTER.
MK

Submitted: March 13, 2014

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Submitted: March 13, 2014

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Tweets

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2m

~ The End ~

 

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handing of the briefcase from generation to generation would necessarily stop with him. He boarded the elevator to the 56th floor in silence

 

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white man, in the end, the white man would win. That his most prized possession, his son, would not be of him, he would be of them. The

 

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the white man. Still, something troubled the young Indian-American. Something gnawed at him. He knew that of all the ways he had beaten the

 

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a fleet of more than a hundred white men. At his disposal. Imagine that. From the first grade onwards, he had beaten the white boy and then

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  8m

the ways he had beaten the white man - at his own game no less. He had just come over  not more than 10 years ago, and now...he commanded

 

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Indian working in fast food as it was to see a white doctor. Maybe even less. There are still some white doctors left. He thought about all

 

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to himself "I've made it". He said it in his native tongue "Kuch Bun Ghaya". He felt sorry for the white slobs. It was as common to see an

 

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And now as he was pacing to his office, briefcase in hand, wearing his Polo shirt, across that parking lot, he thought to

 

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the girls gave him a hug, and, well, we got nothing.

 

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attend that classroom for four exams and a Final. I'll tell you one thing though - that old geezer got something I didn't get - almost all

 

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it wasn't fair, but we weren't hurting nobody. I think about those classes and I'm glad they're behind me. What a waste of time! To have to

 

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there, to study, sometimes all night, to meet with others to study, to prepare with flashcards, CBT's - all this and to fail? Yeah, I know

 

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every one by heart. And we passed with higher scores than you. Some of you even failed the fucking course. Like what a waste of money! To go

 

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answer, but you weren't sure. And when you kept changing your answers, we laughed at you. We never changed our answers. We knew each and

 

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Singaporeans, Taiwanese, Indonesians - we watched at how you tried to remember. We saw that look in your face when you thought you knew the

 

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We used to watch you sweat. Every one of you. The whites, the blacks, the Chinese, the Japs. And all the other Orientals - the Malasians,

 

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scores in the 90% - 95% range. Some of the greedy ones took home 97's and 98's. Those that didn't give a damn gave themselves in the 80's.

 

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true win-win situation. We would miss some of the questions we knew on purpose so as not to invite suspicions. Most of us maintained our

 

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off of us and that was it. We didn't mind. We never really like basketball or getting high and they could never understand cricket. It was a

 

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But not much, though. He had a reputation to protect amongst his homeys. Couldn't be seen with us too much. Just enough to be able to cheat

 

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him. Because he helped get us blind dates. With his friends, of course. We were even invited to a couple of frat parties and house parties.

 

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white boy. The black man knew though. He knew we had the goods. He even tried to hang out with us. To get the goods. And sometimes, we let

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  41m

And we - there were fifteen of us - we swooped in to the lecture hall and we flew right out. First ones done! You wondered how we did it,

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  41m

hell are we going to benefit from the crap in that class. What gold or silver or Mercedes will it buy me? Yeah, so we just came to exam day.

 

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getting a hold of last years exam and committing it to memory. And we have no qualms about not showing up to class either - like what the

 

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all consumed. So every class for 140 semesters received the exact same exam, verbatim. And unlike the paler race, we have no qualms about

 

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What do I care about integrity, academic honesty, creed and colors? You are not permitted to waste any more paper until all those papers are

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  45m

productively in the course of your employment here at the university. We don't pay you enough to be wasting our precious paper. What?

 

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had happened (by the usual routes, of course), He gave that Elder an ultimatum: Either you eat those 60,000 sheets of paper or you use them

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  47m

learn how to copy double sided if the originals were not double-sided. The concept eluded him. When the department chair got wind of what

 

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instead of 50 and when he came back in the morning, there were 5,000 copies of his 12 page exam, all one-sided because he never bothered to

 

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The geezer was naturally lazy and never changed his exam. I wonder if he ever even saw them again. He probably made 5,000 copies one day

 

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what that dastard word means. But I passed the exams. Oh boy, did I ever pass. 100% on every exam. At least that could've in theory happened

 

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do not to barf all over the lecture hall was to stuff our mouths with our scarves, which we wore year-round, by the way. I never learned

 

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when that old geezer was teaching the class, Humanities 101 it was, I think, it came out like some innate guttural sound and all we could

 

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liberal arts! Freaking Roman Architecture and "Baroque" paintings. The damn word itself is nasty enough to want you want to hurl. And then

 

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of that guy with the briefcase. And here he was. Flesh and Blood. The guy with the briefcase. He had made it. All those years of intolerable

 

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, knew it. And that child, since the day he was born, has been held up in many many arms, kissed by many many people, who were all thinking

 

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and mind and soul that it must have transferred through. He never felt it like that night though. That night, five years and nine months ago

 

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when it was finished nor when it ever began. He comforted himself that whenever it happened, the right thoughts were in his head and body

 

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that Hindu man as he lay with his wife that night. It's all he thought about! So caught up was he with this vision that he no sooner knew

 

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not have modified his gait, speed, motion, or direction if even a torrential rainstorm were thundering upon him. That guy was in the mind of

 

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black parking lot, headed towards a glass-enshrouded tower, head bent low, jaw serious. It might as well have been raining. The man would

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

Five years and nine months ago, this man had an image of another man - a man in great earnest! Briefcase in hand, rapidly crossing the

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

to school on his very first day with that image calming his limbic system. It goes further back, though, a little bit further down the road.

 

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planet. It is the end goal in college. It is the end goal in High School. It is the end goal in Middle School. Even the Kindergartner goes

 

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looming glass enshrouded tower in the distance, that walk across the parking lot, hand clasped over the finest leather specimen on the

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

That is the end goal for each one of them. The briefcase, the dark suit, the sunglasses, the cabin-forward lean in his gait, that large,

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

ever done to earn notoriety. They find it comforting that it's a large employer with a long track history of increasing dividends yearly.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

some a legacy. "Pox to small business!" they shout, mixed with a good measurement of laughter. "What good is small business, what'd they

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

it like the M was capitalized. Those young Hindus. They all want to work for a Multi-National Corporation. As if it's going to earn them

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

A good thing it was too. That they ended up winning. We couldn't manage our sock inventory much less a multi-national corporation. They say

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  1h

Chapter 2 - A Good Thing

 

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We will never earn recognition.

 

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real good even the Mona Lisa looks like jaded peaks. So we survived. We are a minority. But we will never be treated like one.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

Thank God. There's comfort in that. I don't think I want a perfect anything. How vain, indeed! How we can call anything 'perfect'? Magnified

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

you are. You and me. We made it. Look around you. Ah, the disgusting look apparent. It came do 99.9995 success, but nothing is perfect.

 

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They were determined to eradicate the propagation. This would be the end of them, they thought. But a few survived. A scant few. That's who

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

a long-winded house guest. Who is overdue his stay by four weeks. They started castrating the prisoners first. And the actors second.

 

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funny, relaxed, let our hair grow, etc., they would let us live in peace. A minority we were. They tolerated us like we tolerate a

 

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controlled banks, media, museums, governments. We were musicians. We entertained them for a long time. Entertained them. Because we were

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

In the end, it ends up like this. One by one, the rebels are killed off to reduce the ranks, as scouring brush wipes off stains. They

 

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from the interview, out the door, under the sign that said "Innovation. Courage. Invent" and you know you made the right decision.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

in my own company. They don't want to entertain the thought of hiring you. It repulses them more than nothing else. You end up walking away

 

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higher-level manager or higher. The rest of us can rest knowing that that the only way I am going to reach a senior-level position will be

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

The ones that always did what the teacher said. Or screamed. Those pupils get their names entered into a global database of hiring-eligible

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

want a freaking nut walking around here?" They don't want inventors,  they want elementary school children before they learn to become bad.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

They want nothing of the sort. Human Resources (the department) cringes at the idea of hiring somebody different. You hear them say "Hey,

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

We don't know when to stop. They say they wan't different, with a Capital D, but their workers all look alike. And act alike. And eat alike.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

Then why aren't they hiring us? Maybe because we never learned public etiquette and the right way to eat a sausage. We think too much.

 

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to the prevailing winds. They are the one's getting jobs. You and me are different. But they're looking for different - aren't they?

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

water fountain. You don't fit there. You grimace and frack on your lower lip but the fuckers in the ad look nothing like you. They conformed

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

risk it. No one ever got fired for hiring Fred Middle-of-way-Bell Curve Jaspers. That's the guy they hire. Those are the people around the

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

mouth water. Never given credence. That innovator is sitting there, IN HIS GARAGE!" "You won't hire him. You can't take a chance. You can't

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

Innovation used to be honored! But never invited. Never given employment. Never given the sweet taste of benefits. Just the word makes your

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

factor, or CF - the higher it goes, the more honored you are." He closed his mouth and looked at everyone for a good half-minute.

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

this motherfucker for a loooooong-ass time - you wouldn't know. We were honored to be different - now, you're honored by the compliance

 

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the opportunity to meet even. "Well, I'll tell you something.", he (the rulebreaker) began, "Yeah, we had it good a good long time. We ruled

 

 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

They the sole reason Burger King permitted you to have it your way. There were a lot of you back then. Quite a few, we were honored with

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 mK ?@mk_wordsmith  2h

remain, to agonize the public needlessly. These were the people who wanted things to run "their" way. They had a problem following rules.

 

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He was brought before the court for a crime committed against the State. They thought they had gotten rid of them long ago, but remnants

 

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Twas the least they could do. Oh, it might be fascinating a little, we might garnish a laugh out of it yet. They thought. it might be fun.

 

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Condemned he was. By the highest Court in the land. He had won an appeal and they had accepted the plea. To hear him, they would.

 

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A new story tonight enfolds

amidst the nite-ties and pantyhose

To parley a message, urgently sent

from one condemned, broken and bent.


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