Writer's Delight

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
Thought you knew everything there was to know about writers? Here, we go behind the scenes. Report what's real. You won't believe what we decide not to reveal. What does it take to do it? Behind the pen, we mean, not between the sheets. Read on and look for more, here, from the Quite Insane Asylum.

Submitted: February 25, 2014

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Submitted: February 25, 2014



I guess it’s like when you choose to write over watching dancing girls – that’s when you know you were meant to be a writer. (Ladies, you know what I’m talking about, so stop the feminine complaints about fair play and all that). Only because I don’t know what you gals truly like. Do you like ironing more than washing, or vice versa? Just kidding there. I’m actually all for fair play. Actually, there should be a handicapping system, like in golf. In golf, they know everyone’s not equal and they’re up front about it. We, on the other hand, especially in the West, vehemently believe in the Priciple of Equality. But where do you find it? You'll have to go to the beginning and you'll find that it's not fair in the nursery.

Forget the socio-economic figures for now, and just look inside their newborn brains. Count the neurons. Count the number of connections. Compare the glow from the information processing. That is when handicaps should be given out. In the nursery, as soon as the baby is born. They do a little test and are given a number by the computer. The child’s handicap in life. From the beginning, before any prejudices are brought in. That child is given a Perrenial Handicap Number, their own PHN. And it’s all objective. No humans are brought in touch with the decision making capability machinery of the Computer. It’s all Decision Driven. The algorithm decides all. The algorithm taking into account the only independent variable – neuronal count and synaptic redundancy. From this, a handicap number is deducted and imprinted into the very fiber of the new soul. He will live with that handicap. And life will finally be fair. Everything depending on your handicap – your discounts, your income, your social security. Those endowed with more grey matter, the more they have to do and the less they get. Those on the lower scales of intelligence, more.

A writer is definitely born. The most intelligent sub-species. Less than 1% of todays “writers” can truly call themselves writers. They can call themselves whores and bitches all they want, but not writers. A writer does not write because he or she has hordes of fans to please. That’s just Whoring. A writer does not write a particular genre in a "successful" formula because it sells and in the process gives up the most important aspect of their life – independence. That’s a Bitch. That’s what you are seeing in bookstores and the “book” aisles of supermarkets the nation over. Those are not writers. Writers belong not to another genre of people, but are another people entirely. There may have been only 100 true writers in the past 500 years. Those that gave it all away. To write. To write. To write. And nothing else.

What can a writer expect from society? Humiliation, Degradation, Deriding Looks, Sneers, Snorts and Snickers. Pity. Others may outwardly think him cool, but inside, they think him fool. They figure he writes because he’s unable to do anything else. Let them laugh, the writer retorts. “I follow”, he proclaims “in the steps of genius and madmen, angels and devils, the forlorn and the damned”.

The writer accepts no handicap. Leave him entirely to his own devices. Starve or Eat, let him decide. Soon enough, he will come to a realization of what he truly is. It follows a simple computer algorithmic subroutine: “If NOT writer, then else.”

Don't expect that you will know before the age of 40. You may have a tinkling, you may wonder, you may walk the unbeaten path from a young age - just don't believe it until the magical age of 40. Then you'll know.

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