All we know is falling.
Flyings turned to crawling.
Stumbling towards anything to feel alive.
Smoke screen illusion, sense of mass confusion
not quite love that we thrive.
Pushing love away for so long, a barrier to keep this heart secure.
Never giving what I could not get back, and now I need a cure.
I've let color in this black and white, no regret or eraser.
Poison slipping down my throat, raw liquor with no chaser.
Drowning in a sea of doubt.. Gasping.
Reaching for an answer, losing feeling in myself.
Cold. Dark. Numb.
For reasons uncertain, this rock bottom is calm.
But I'll take this next time with caution,
and pray I don't lose this.
With chances taken, hope embraced,
and know this first love of mine is dead and gone.
New faces present themselves, and it's clear
everybody plays the fool in this game of life for two.
Not sure if i'll make it out this time.
Pale hands pressed against the lifeless bathroom wall
spitting out the words I can't convey, standing firm for me to fall.
Sick to the thought, mindful dissaray, this guilt of mine won't sway.
I look up, reflection piercing through my soul.
Better apart. Broken from the start.
This hell on the heart.
© Copyright 2017 Chanel Hamilton. All rights reserved.
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