The Biggest Bang

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A spoof of the theories of creation and evolution.

Submitted: February 27, 2012

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Submitted: February 27, 2012

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The Biggest Bang
 
“Have you read the mail today, Father?”
“No I have not.”  He flopped in his easy chair. Overseeing ALL was getting more tire- 
some each day.  Put his feet up on the stool.  He looked at Mother standing in the door. “Is
there any special reason I should read the mail tonight?”
She disappeared.  He assumed to bring the mail.  Mother walked quickly across the bare
flooring.  Each hardwood plank squeaked.
He smiled sheepishly.  “I’ll have to fix that one day.”
She leaned over and kissed him softly on the top of his shaven head as she dropped 
the mail in his lap. “If you are so tired all the time, get Sateen to help.  She knew what his respond
would be. She quickly returned to the kitchen not wanting to hear Father berate Sateen.
“Sateen is never here.  I don’t know what that boy does all day. Probably somewhere 
trying to look pretty and starting trouble.”
Father opened the mail.  “What in the name of ALL is this?”
“I can’t read it from there Father.”
Father willed himself out of his comfort chair. His knees complained the entire trip.  
“Something smells really good in here.”
“It’s your favorite, Sheppard’s pie.  Let me see the letter.  It reads you are in notice to 
show why you didn’t file a construction permit for the most recent project.
“The most recent project?” 
“Hmm, I’m guess the reason for my favorite meal is because you know that I don’t 
have any projects going right now.  Therefore this is the work of Christy your son.”
Mother really didn’t what an argument.  She put a large bowl of stew in front of him.
 “Eat the stew. Get some rest tonight.  I’ll have Christy ready to go with you in the 
morning.
 
 
Christy wasn’t feeling comfortable in the Hall.  She wished Mother had come along 
today.  At least Father hadn’t spoken three words. She looked around at all the Beings in
attendance.  Whenever Father made a public appearance, Beings wanted to hear him speak.  
Christy didn’t like standing near her Father.  Father always looked perfect.  His clothing immaculate.
She didn’t care about her personal appearance and it showed. Her wooly hair was unruly but always clean.
Her robes hung on her like a bed sheet.  A two day growth was always on her face.
Head Counsel rose.  “Let’s have order please.”  Even though it was quiet as the beginning of All.
 “Father please approach the counsel.”
Father guided Christy ahead of him.
“Ah Christy it is good to see you here.”   “Are you here to represent Father today?”  
All five Counsel members smiled and chuckled politely.
Christy focused her eyes just over the Counsel shoulders.  She could see her creation 
behind them.  “I uh…. I am here to uh… apply for the project permits.”
The Counsel glance quickly at one another.  Head counsel slowly shoveled papers 
around.  “Father we were under the impression this project was your work.” “Is your statement the project
here is the work of Christy?”
Looking at the Creation for the first time.  Father felt a great swelling of pride. 
Magnificent he thought.  “You heard Christy.  This is his work and it is good.”  He didn’t want to swell Christy
head by declaring the work ‘magnificent’.
The Counsel stared at Father. “One moment Father.”  The Counsel put their heads together and spoke
in whispers for several minutes.  Christy looked at Father and grinned.  
“At this time young Christy we will grant you a provisional permit.  Before we adjourn several Counsel
members have questions.”
“Christy you have decided to construct your new creation in the deepest darkness regions of All Everything.  
I assume to keep it a secret from Father.”   “How will you manage this project?”
Christy shrugged her shoulders and smiled.  “I figured I would let there be light.”
“Light?”  Again the Counsel exchanged glances.  “How will this light be constructed?”
She was feeling much more confident now  “Ahem…  The light will be constructed of hydrogen 91%.  Which
according to my calculations will be 71% of the total mass.  Also helium 8.7% which is .99% of
“Put it in your full report.”  This from the Head Counsel. 
“Christy would you please explain this object which you have labeled I believe.”   He 
looked down at his notes.  “You have labeled this object “Earth.  It seems that you have a special affinity for this Earth.”
The doors into the great Hall opened and Mother and Sateen walked in quietly to take a 
seat beside Father.
“Earth is my creative juices flowing.  Sorta my signature piece.” She stole a quick glance 
at Father.  She was happy to see Father still smiling.
“Can you be more specific.  What are you designs for this ..uh.. Earth?”
“Well, I have been doing some reading in Father’s library.  She glanced back.  Father was no longer smiling. In
fact he was giving Christy the stare and squirming restlessly in his seat.  Sateen giggled loudly.  
“With Father’s permission and guidance I am very certain that I can develop life on Earth.”
The entire Hall erupted into a clamor. Everyone talking at the same time. Beings in the 
upper gallery jumped from their seats trying to steal a look at Father.  Christy turned and looked at Mother.  
She wouldn’t dare look at Father.  Through the clamor she could hear Sateen’s ‘little brother’.
Head Counsel rose. He slammed the gravel several times.  “Let’s have quiet please.  
Christy, Father this session is adjourned until tomorrow morning.  We expect a full report.”   He turned and walked out
not waiting for a reply.  The other member followed quickly behind.
Father looked at Christy.  “Come we must talk.”
 
“What do you call them?”  He looked closer.  “It’s a lump of clay.  Kinda looks like you. Two arms. Two legs.
 A plain boring face.”  Sateen looked at Christy and laughed.
Sateen and Christy were standing in the Haven.  The lab where Christy did all his work.  He was the creative one
of the twins.  Sateen was pacing eager to get away. She was the gregarious one. The people person. 
“What, I should give them fangs and horns?”   “I don’t really have a name for them.” 
Sateen looked at herself in the stainless steel table.  She loved her reddish mane and darkish hue.  Her eyes
held the ability to captivate.  Her voice the ability to hypnotize. She was the most beautiful Being ever created.
“Whatever, you don’t have a name for it. You don’t know what it is.  Let’s get out and have some fun.”
Christy stood on the edge on her creation.  Watching energy and matter move at unimaginable speeds. “Can’t, I’m on punishment.”
“Wow, Father put you on punishment.  You shouldn’t have said anything about the life thingy.  Father looked
really angry. But he chilled pretty quickly. “How long are you stuck here?”
Christy walked away and flopped down in a easy chair.  He could hear voices outside the door.  
He looked back at the creation.  “Sateen shut the door.”   He paused.  “Actually the entire creation thing was a accident.  
All the stuff I say at the Counsel.  Made up.  I was in the here in the Haven just playing around with anti-matter and a bit of
it fell in a vacuum of matter.”
Sateen couldn’t contain his glee. “BOOM!!”
A smile gathered on Christy’s lips. “The Biggest Bang you ever heard.”
Sateen mouth was wide open. “Did you tell Father all this?”  “I can’t believe it.  Christy made a mistake. Dude you
never slip up. You’re always perfect that’s what I hate about you.”
“What do you mean, that’s what you hate about me?”
Sateen dismissed Christy with a wave of his hand.  “Don’t worry about it.  He looked at the door. Yesterday
before the Counsel. I was in the first MATTER skipping the black holes.  Having good conversation with the OLD ONES.”
Christy sighed.  Everything was about Sateen. “You know you are not allowed in the first MATTER. You get caught.
Father will send you to live with the OLD ONES.
“I won’t get caught.” He walked and sat beside Christy. “So how long are you stuck here?” 
“I’m here until I finish explaining all this.” He turned and looked at his Earth beginning to cool.  “Sateen I need you
to do something for me tomorrow. I think if you bring in my prototypes they will help support my case.”
Sateen actually shuddered.  “You going to use those thingies in your project. You bring these thingies into the Counsel
you are just hurting your case.” “Did you show Father all this?”
“Yea I did.” “Guess what?”  “Father said I could manage the creation. He said all the decisions are mine to make.”
Sateen snarled and threw a chair across the Haven. His eyes flashed and turned from red 
to a violent purple.  He hissed when he spoke. “Father would never grant me such a honor. “Only for his favorite the perfect Christy!”
“Oh Sateen, Father loves you too. You just don’t listen.”
“Whatever Ms. Perfect I’m out of here.”  He strode out of the Haven. He didn’t look back.
Christy loved her twin sister and she would do anything to show it.  She wished she could be more like her.  The beautiful
and talented Sateen.  Life was easy for her.  She did whatever she loved.  Even Father was blinded by her manipulations at times.  
Christy wanted them to be happy all together.  Not apart and always fighting.  A plan was forming in her mind.
She was sure it would work.
 
Christy was glad Mother decided to walk with him.  She made a good buffer.  Sateen was no where in sight.  
Father was silent.  Christy didn’t know it was a good sign.  The hall was SRO Beings standing almost shoulder to shoulder.
Even the upper gallery was filled.  Some hovered in mid-air. Head counsel stood.  “Father, Christy please approach the bench at this time”
“I will allow Christy to present his case.”  This from Father as he walked slowly to the rear of the Hall.
“Before we come to the issue of life.”  The entire gallery stirred.  Please let’s keep the chatter to an absolute minimum.
The Counsel has several questions and we would like to get Christy’s report into public record today.”
“Good morning Counsel.”  He had practiced all night.  He was feeling very confident.
“This light. You stated the life span is 5-8 billion years determined by the composition and mass." 
“Yes, as we speak the creation is one billion years old.  There are approximately one billion billion of these lights.”  
The murmur stirred in the gallery.  These lights are the blood of the creation.
“Uh, uh. Now Christy. Please speak on this mass which you have labeled ‘Earth’.  You seem to have a certain special
purpose for Earth.”
“Yes counsel.  As we speak you notice the Earth is going through several changes.  The core composition is iron, oxygen
and silicone.  These elements make up over 75 percent of Earth. I chose these elements and several other because I feel and my
theories are confirmed by Father’s writings that thiscombination of elements are perfect for life."
Again the galleries erupted with loud conversation.  Everyone speaking at once.  Someone shouted, “Let Father speak.”  
Head Counsel stood.  “Please let’s respect these proceedings and have absolute quiet.  Christy do not speak of life
until we arrive at this subject.”
“Yes Counsel.  Very sorry sir.  I have calculated the natural evolution of the process of oxygenation of the Earth to take
approximately 2 billion years.   After the process of …..  after oxygenation I have designed for the processes of …. new developments.
Head Counsel rose walked to the edge of the creation.  He turned back to the gallery. “I must admit this creation is rather intriguing.  
This life process would produce what type of life.”
“In the beginning sir the life formed will be a simple life such as bacteria, protozoans and algae. From these forms more advance
forms will evolve.”
“Christy, you said in the beginning. The Counsel is curious. I would be safe in saying the entire Hall is curious.”
“What happens after the beginning?  Where is this evolution going?”
“Ahem.  Well sir simple life will evolve into more advanced forms and”
Sateen slammed through the doors pushing the prototypes on a table. Thankfully they were covered.  “Where do you want this?”  
Father rose and walked behind Sateen.
“Up here.”  The gallery was completely quiet.  All eyes were on the covered table and Father.  The galleries whispers became
louder with each step; until Father raised his hands.
Sateen was glowing with glee.  He could smell the angst in the galleries. It was intoxicating. The anticipation of chaos and
confusion made his entire body glow.  He was grinning from ear to ear.  “Can I stay and watch?”
“Yes I want you to stay here.  This will be a great moment for both of us.”
“Now?”
Christy looked back at Father. He looked up at Sateen. Closed his eyes.  “Yes now.”
The galleries exploded in an outrageous roar.  The Hall shook.  Actual pushing and shoving broke out as several Beings
departed from the Hall in disgust and indignation.  Sateen laughed.  She was in her element.
Father raised his hands.  “Quiet please.”  The galleries grew silent.  “Allow Christy to explain herself.”
“Father do you condone this uh … this type of uh presentation?”
“I condone allowing Christy the respect to continue her presentation. Christy the floor is yours."  
“Ahem ….I done all the calculations and I stand behind my decision as this being the highest form of life evolution.  The form
will possess high intelligence and wisdom.  After his form there is no other.”
“Very well.  The Counsel needs several minutes.”
Christy looked at her creation.  The Earth a beautiful shining green and blue ball. In a sea darkness.  The vastness surprised even her.  
The beauty stunned her.  She turned and looked at Mother and Father.  In returned she received smiles and two nods of approval.
“It is good.”  This from Sateen.
Head Counsel stood.  “At this time all provision are approved. The Hall shook. The cheers and jeers erupted from the galleries.  
Beings crowded Father to get his official words concerning the outcome. 
Head Counsel raised his arms.  “Please, please.  Christy you have anything to add at this time?” 
“Yes I do.  I would like to ask Sateen to be the guardian of Earth.  To watch over it and keep it from harm.”  She beamed a smile at Sateen.
“Yes I will.”
Christy hug her twin brother.  “Thank you and I have one condition.  For this to work you MUST introduce the female form first.”  “Understood?”
Sateen grinned. “Sure Christy anything you say.” 
 


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