“Would someone just kill me now?” Serenity said when her alarm clock rang at 6:30 in the morning on the dot. She just wanted to throw it out the window and go back to sleep but she knew she could never do it. School was too important to miss since this was her last year everyday counted.
Her head was killing though. She knew she should have never snuck out last night but she had to defy her mother. She could not remember anything that happened last night at the party. All she remembers was coming through her window, throwing off her clothes, jumping in the shower and scrubbing herself intently. For some reason, when she got home last night she felt dirty like she had a whole bunch of people touching her. After she got out she took two sleeping pills and went to sleep. The feeling she felt last night but it was not as intense.
She slowly dragged herself out of bed and went to closet to pick out her outfit of the day. Which since she did not do laundry yesterday like her mother asked would be her dark blue jeans and her huge black tigger sweater that she stole from her sister before she moved out. She stole most of her clothes from either her mother or her sister since no one liked to buy her clothes and it was cheaper to give her hand me downs.
“SERENITY PATIENCE WRIGHT! Are you up?” her mother yelled from downstairs.
“NO! Mom I'm still in bed!” she yelled back sarcastically. Her mother was always up before her even when her mom was not working she was always up. That just gave Serenity less of an excuse to linger in bed and hurry downstairs so she would not miss the city bus. She stole a banana from the fruit basket on the counter and kissed her mom goodbye before she ran out the door.
When she got to the bus stop, she finally noticed the dark clouds in the sky and she knew this day would be one of the longest of her life. Then it started to rain.
She raised her hands to the sky and shouted “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing” a low voice said behind her.
She spun around only to look into the eyes of a tall, blond haired, brown eyed young man in a blue jean jacket, blue ripped jeans with black gloves with the fingers cut off and black army boots looking like he just stepped off the set of the 1980's movie, The Breakfast Club. She knew he went to her school but they had never talked he was her friend Jake's friend. He smirked at her like she was being funny.
“What did you say?” she snapped.
“I said nothing” he laughed.
“Do you find something funny?” she snarled.
“Yes I do.” he said seriously.
“What? You find my self- pity funny?”
“Yes I do.”
“Go to hell.”
The flashing words on the bus caught the corner of her eyes coming up the street and she rushed to find her bus pass. She could not find it. She looked up and saw the bus at the red light. She checked her pockets, her book bag, her cell phone pouch, and even her bra but it was not there. “Looking for this” She turned around and saw him holding her bus pass in his hands. She lunged at him. “Give that back!” she got on the bus pulled as soon as she managed to get up from the ground. She got on the bus and sat way in the back hoping he would not follow her but he got on and sat right next to her. She tried to but there was nowhere else to sit except stand. She had bad balance so that was out of the picture so she sat and suffered. She prayed he would not talk to him. “Well, that was rude.” he said to her. His arm brushed her and made her jump a foot out her seat. “So are you going to ignore me?” he asked. She turned her back to him as much as she possible could on the crowded bus.
She could not wait until her stop came up. She practical broke the lever and ran off the bus happy to get away from him.
When she got to school, it was 7:30 am and the school did not open until 7:45 am so she had to stand outside until then. She took out her twenty dollar Mp3 player which only held about 40 songs and just sat down on the stairs to wait. Her back was leaning against the side of stairs so she did not see him walk toward her plus she was in the middle of her favorite song “A Beautiful lie” by 30 Seconds to Mars. He pulled the ear plug out of her ear and said “hey” in her ear scaring the hell out of her.
“Have you lost your mind?!!” she said as she jumped up.
“Just a little.” he smiled.
“You truly want to die today don't you?” she asked as she put away her Mp3 player.
“Maybe I do” he said with cockiness.
She did not know whether to strangle him or just walk away. She decide to walk away she knew that would not result to jail time. She checked the time it was 7:46 am. “Thank God!” She walked inside the building and thought about going to the cafeteria but decided against it. She went to front office instead to see if any of the secretaries were here yet.
“Hey! Wait up a minute!”
She wanted to just die. She did not know why he kept bothering her. For a minute, she had the sudden urge to turn around and punch him in the face but she kept that urge at bay. Instead, she turned around and walk right up to him.
“Why do you keep bothering me?”
“Because I can” he said. She wanted to kill him she was seeing red. She had to put hers hands in her pockets because she was afraid she might just strangle him.
“Do you plan to torture me all day?” she said straining to keep the words she really wanted to say to him in her head.
“I don't know. If you weren't so rude to me this morning...hey wait?...how am I torturing you?” he asked.
“Hello? You’re not serious?”
“I'm dead serious.”
“First of all you laughed at me this morning, second you stole my bus pass, third-”
“Wait! I did not steal you bus pass you dropped it and I picked it up then you lunged at me!”
“I did not drop my bus pass-”
“Yes you did!”
“I tired of you interrupting me.”
“Oh! I'm so sorry oh humble one I did not mean to interrupt you. As you were saying?” he said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes at him and walked away.
She wanted to kick him until he bled then leave him to bleed to death. She knew she did like him and probably never will. He was as annoying as a child but a child she could handle him she just wanted to kill. She decides not to go to the office anymore but to go to put something in her stomach before she throw up.
When she got into the cafeteria she sat down in her favorite spot in the back corner and waited for the cafeteria lady to start serving breakfast. She took out her planner to see what was on the agenda for she had free period first so that meant she had English last today. She just loved that her school had a rotating schedule it benefits the student a lot. Now, she can catch on her reading that she did not do last night. She went to bend her head down to get her book out of her bag and she heard someone sit down. She knew it was him because if it was anyone else they would have tried to scare her half to death or would of said hi when they sat down.
“What do you want?” she said still with her head bent wondering if she left her book at home.
“Nothing I just wanted to apologize for your rudeness.” he said nonchalantly.
“You just don't realize how close to dying you are coming to?” she said as she got to get breakfast. He got up and followed.
“So are always this way? Or are you just this way because I'm here?” he said as came up behind her.
“Just because you’re here” she said so sarcastically.
“That's so cool. I feel so honored that you are this way because of my presence.”
“Go....do something with yourself!” she said as she grabbed a bagel with cream cheese and a juice then stormed off back to the table.
She attempted to ignore him while she ate her breakfast but he kept trying to go through her things. She had to punch him in his arm twice in order for him to stop.
“Oww! If you would talk to me like a civilized person I would not have to result to searching your bag to find out your identity.” He took the other half of her bagel and bit it. She wanted to scream but she just continued to eat the rest of the other half.
“So you plan going the ignoring route. Okay? I can play that game to.” he smiled then snatched her bag and ran out the door. She got up and went after him but when she got to the hall she did not know which way he went. She wanted to curse out loud but she settled for her head instead she decided to head up to the second floor to see if he went up there but before she was up the first step she was stopped.
“Ms. Wright, where do you think you are going?” She wished she had just gone back and sat at her table. She did not fill like dealing with Mr. Edwards right now especially because she was already irritated.
“Nowhere” she said avoiding his eyes.
“Nowhere what?” he said. She was not in the mood for this.
“Nowhere, Mr. Edwards, sir” she said annoyed. She looked at him. He was short with brown hair and brown eyes wearing a tan suit with a blue shirt. He always looked strange to her ever since he came back from being fired. He always wore suits and not just any suit but uptight suits like he always had a stick up his butt. He tried to be fun but all his jokes instead of making a person laugh they more like freaked them out. Serenity always tried to avoid Mr. Edwards at all costs. Everyone did. He was a force not to be reckoned with.
“Why don't you just head back to the cafeteria and we will forget about this whole incident?” He winked at her. She almost threw up. She said “thank you, sir” and hurried away.
When she got back in the cafeteria, she was heading back to her table when she tripped over this kid's book bag and fell face first to the floor only to land in someone's spilled milk. She sat there for a might dazed thinking that she can't believe she was about to drown in spilled milk. All of the sudden, someone picked her up.
“Are you alright?” he said with concern. At first, she did not want to open her eyes because she knew who it was but she knew she would have to in order to get away from him. She heard everyone around her laughing and she felt humiliated.
“Yes, I'm fine.” She said with agitation in her voice taking the napkin he had in his hand and wiping her face. She walked over to her table, grabbed her book, and trash then walk out the door throwing away her trash. As she knew he would, he followed her.
“Hey, wait up!” he yelled behind her. She kept walking until she got to her locker.
“Why don't you just go jump off a bridge somewhere?” she hissed.
“Why so I can brighten up your day?” She glared at him. “Sorry, Princess, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” She finally got her locker open only to have him push her over stuff her bag in and shut it.
“You...God!” She wanted to just go home back to her comfortable bed. She was about to cuss him out but then she saw her best friend, Theophana, walk through the door. She ran to her like it was her life.
“Hey Theo!” She wanted to hug her but she knew her friend would kill her if she did that. She did not expect her friend to acknowledge her either because Theo was not a morning person. Serenity just wanted to get away from him before she exploded.
Theo looked at her friend wondering why she was talking to her, not seeing the desperation in her eyes. She did not feel like talking to Serenity because she was mad at her for leaving her at the party last night. She was about to turn around the corner to head to the cafeteria when she saw him, Jake's friend. She had seen him at the party last night. He's the one who spilled his drink all over her last night but left before she could say anything. She walked around Serenity to go over and give him a piece of her mind.
Serenity stood there looking at them. She thought her mind was playing tricks on her. She was not seeing her best friend, her best friend who was like her sister talking to the boy she loathed. Not only that but she acknowledged him before she acknowledged her. Serenity did not know what to think so she just walked away. She was about to walk to the bathroom but the bell for homeroom rung. She walked up the stairs and tried to avoid getting hit in the face with kid's bags from them rushing up the stairs trying to get their lockers.
She finally got to her homeroom only to find her teacher was not there yet as usually. She did not feel like going through Mr. Jenkins's room and hearing all his BS about not liking seniors in his room but she did not feel like staying out in the hall. So, she played deaf and got into the room. She practically slammed the door on his face. She did not bother to turn on the light. She just went to the desk in the corner farthest from the window, put her hood on, and put her head down. She tried not to cry but she felt miserable and the feeling she felt last night was coming back more intensely.
She heard someone knock but she ignored it. After a few minutes, she heard someone go into Mr. Jenkins's room then she heard them walk into the room. They walked toward a desk near the side of the room near the window and put something down. It sounded like a briefcase and she knew it was her teacher, Mr. Walters. She hoped he would not notice her. He walked over and turned on the light then walked back over to his brief case. She thought she was safe for a minute then he turned around and walked toward her. She could hear his footsteps. He lifted up her hood.
“Aren't you suppose to be downstairs with the rest of the seniors?” he said. She forgot about the assembly that was taking place downstairs with ladies from the health center talking about what shots to take before people go off to college.
“Yeah, probably.” she said putting back on her hood and putting her head down. She wished he would just leave her alone.
“Don't you think you should head down there?” He pulled off her hood again and she pulled it back on.
“No” she growled. He pulled off her hood again then she stood up, walked around and went to sit by the window where she put back on her hood and put her head down.
“Serenity, you need to go downstairs.” he commanded in one of his “I'm authority” voices as he stared at her.
“I don't need to do anything but sit here.” she mumbled.
“What?” he said walking over to his briefcase.
“I said I don't need to do anything but sit here you heard me now” she practically shouted at him.
“Is everything alright?” he said. She just put her head back down so he would not see the tears swelling up in her eyes.
“I'm fine. I just want to be left alone.” she said. Her words were muffled but he heard her and just left her alone. They sat there quietly until the bell for first period rang. She did not raise her head and leave until she made sure her eyes were dry. She got up and made sure she did not look at him or he would want to talk to her. She had almost made it out the door when he called her.
“Yes?” she said not turning around.
“I want to talk to you after class” he said more like commanded. She just walked out thinking she would call her mom at lunch to come pick her up during his class.
She walked downstairs heading toward the conference room where she usually spent her free period. No one was there when she walked in she assumed they were still in the assembly. She took her English book out of her pocket and started reading but this feeling like she forgot something she should remember kept nagging at her. Suddenly, the feeling of being dirty came over her again.
She was so engrossed in her thoughts she did hear Jake come in. So when he put his arm around her like he usually did she screamed like someone was attacking her. Everyone in the office came rushing in to see what was going on. They saw her sitting in the chair and Jake trying to calm her down but she just kept screaming. She tried to stop but each time Jake touched her she screamed harder until the secretary finally got her to calm down by sending Jake to get the nurse.
When the nurse came, she took me to her office and made me lay down. She ended up falling asleep only wake up screaming. She was still in the nurse's office but the nurse was not there. She guessed no one heard her because no one came rushing in. She got up and walked to the bathroom. She went to the bathroom; she washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She wondered what made her react like that when Jake touched her. He always played with her like that, she hated it because he was harmless but she just could not shake off the feeling his touch gave her.
She walked out the bathroom and walked right into to her nemesis. She wanted to retreat back into the bathroom but instead she ignored him.
“So we are still playing this game are we?” he said blocking her way.
“Move!” she demanded. He did not move.
“You’re still in a bad mood?” he said annoyed.
“If you must know, yes...yes, I am”
“Well get out of it.” He said as she glared at him intensely. “I see an evil in you, my child.”
“You make me so angry!” she pushed him away and ran up the stairs to third floor. She was walking across the sky bridge when she heard someone calling name.
“Serenity!” she turned around to see her friend, Mike walking toward her, her body started to shake uncontrollable then the last thing she remember was seeing Mike standing over her but it was not on the sky bridge that she saw him but it looked like a bedroom or a basement…
She woke up back in the nurse's office. This time when she woke up the nurse was sitting at her desk talking to Theo who was sitting across from her.
“Is she on any medications that you know of?” the nurse said.
“Not that I know of except she does take sleeping pills when she can't get to sleep”
“Did anything happen recently that may cause her to act this way?”
“No, all she did was go to a party last night but she left early.”
“Did she take any drugs or was there any in the punch or drinks?”
“No...Not that I know of. I did not see her drink anything but a can of coke.”
“Okay then I guess, that is all I need to know until her mother gets here. You can go back to class now.”
Theo got up and glanced at Serenity. Serenity quickly closed her eyes before Theo saw she was awake then Theo left. Serenity pretended she was asleep until her mother came.
When Serenity opened her eyes and saw her mother talking to the nurse she wanted to jump into her mother's arm then tell her to hold her tight and don't let go but all hope went when she saw the look on her mother's face. Her mother had a scowl on her face. Serenity knew she was due for a long lecture especially making her mother come from work for what her mother would call “a senseless girl moment.” When the nurse was done talking to her mother she left leaving Serenity to endure her mother's painful glare.
“I can't believe you. Go get your coat so I can drop you off at home and get back to work. You are going to have pick up your sister because now I have to work over time so I can get my full pay.”
“Don't you BUT me not now not ever do you understand me?”
“Now go get your coat so we can go.”
Serenity got up and walked quickly past her mother afraid she would hit her but she knew she wouldn't, well not yet.
As Serenity was at her locker, he came up and leaned against the locker next to her. At first he did not say anything but then...
“You don't remember me, do you?” he said looking at her.
“Why should I be remembering you?”
“Okay so I take that as you don't.”
“No I don't” He did not say anything after that. He just stood there with his head down.
“Are you going to remind me or do I have to force it out of you?” she said staring at him.
“You seriously don't remember?”
“No, I don't seriously. What happened?”
“Nothing. It looks like your mom is waiting for you.” Serenity turned around to see her mother glaring at her. She took her bag out her locker and closed it.
“So I'll see you tomorrow?” he said.
“Yeah I guess.” she said as she put her bag on then suddenly that feeling of being dirty came over her again then she had an overwhelming feeling to scream.
“Serenity.” her mother said impatiently.
“I'm coming mom. See you later.”
He just stared at her wishing he had the courage to tell her. He knew was a coward and she had a right to know what happened. He should have told her at the bus stop this morning that is the whole reason he took the bus this morning instead of taking his car. He promised himself he would tell her tomorrow no if, ands, or buts about it.
When Serenity got in the car, she thought she would get an ear full of it from her mother but it was not until they were half way home when her mom final went off.
“Can't believe you went out last night when I specifically told you not to!...You keep testing me and testing me!...I try to give you freedom but then you take advantage of me...I don't know what I'm going to do with you...I think I'm going to send you off to live with your father”
“Well, you won't listen to me you won't do what I say...I think that is what I'm going to have to do.”
“Maaa...I promise I'll listen to you and do whatever you say. Please don't send me to my father”
“Serenity I can't handle you anymore. You’re just too much to deal with plus it will only be until you graduate from high school.”
“Ma, that means I have to finish high school in some other school and I don't want to” she cried.
“You should have thought of that before you decided to sneak out last night and that is the end of this conversation. Do you hear me?”
“Yes” she said with tears rolling down her cheeks. She did not realize when she started crying but she was and the tears would not stop. They rode in silence the rest of the way home.
When they got to the house her mother gave her twenty dollars to order pizza since she would not be home to cook dinner. She was about to get out of the car when her mom put her hand on her shoulders.
“I'm going to call your father when I get home to see what schools are good, okay?” her mother said. Serenity just nodded her head.
“Don't forget to pick up your sister and I don't want anyone over tonight Serenity I mean it, you hear me?”
“Yes I hear you mother” she said with scorn in her voice as she got out the car.
Her mother drove off when she opened the door. She went up to her room, turned on her light, threw off her book bag and laid it on her bed. She cried for awhile then she wiped her eyes and tried to remember what happened last night. As she was trying to remember she started to tremble violently then she started crying. She did not know why but she felt awful inside then feeling of being dirty came back to her again. She wished the feeling would just go away. She decided to take a shower but when she got out the feeling was still there but more intensely. She wanted to feel something other than this feeling she was feeling so she took the razor she kept under mattress to keep away from her sister who liked to cut herself. At first she cut lightly but she found it was not enough so she cut harder and deeper. She did not realize she cut a vein until the bleeding would not stop when she cut her other arm. She put her arms under water to clean the cuts and wrapped a towel around her wrists then she got in the tub. She sat and prayed the blood would stop. She did not see the blood soaking the towel or the blood soaking her clothes. All she felt was herself getting tired and wanting to just go to sleep...
“Cathy, you got a phone call from your daughter's school” Cathy thought what now? Serenity probably forgot to pick her up.
“Hello?, yes, this is Cathy Wright...My oldest daughter was supposed to pick her up but I'm on my way now...Thank you” She hung up. She was going to kill Serenity when she got her hands on her. When she got in her car she tried calling the house from her cell phone but Serenity did not pick up. She could not believe she left the house when she specifically told her not to. Now she would have to take her daughter to work. When she picked up her daughter she was fuming but by the time she finished work and she got home she was boiling. She saw her daughter's light on and knew she was home.
“SERENITY! SERENITY!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. She stomped up the stairs and opened her daughter's door to find her not in there until she saw the bathroom door closed. She opened the door at first she did not see her because she only glanced in to see her not there but then something caught the corner of her eyes. She turned and saw her daughter soaked in blood.
“Oh my God! Serenity!” She ran over to her and bent down to see where she was bleeding from. She unwrapped the towel and saw the cuts on her wrists then she looked at her daughter. She saw her eyes closed. She reached up to touch her face with trembling hands and felt her cheeks. They were cold. She snatched her hand away and ran to get the phone to call 911. The ambulance came and deemed it an accidental suicide.
The next day at school everyone was devastated about the death of Serenity Patience Wright. No one understood why she would do that to herself. It was her last year in school and she just got accepted to her number one college. She had everything going for her but why would she kill herself. Not even the police knew why such a young girl would kill herself but all they could do was deem it a suicide until they had further evidence.
The guilt was weighing on his chest. He knew he should have told her yesterday like he had planned to. He knew he had to tell someone what they did because he knew what they did was wrong. He wished he had never gone to that party the other night. Serenity would still be alive and he would not feel so guilty.
He walked into the police station with a tape in his hand demanding to see who ever was in charge of the investigation of Serenity Patience Wright.
“Go sit over there on the bench and wait” said the officer at the front desk. He waited there for several minutes before someone came to get him to take him to another room with no windows except a one way mirror. He sat there again for another 10 minutes until a man finally came in.
“Hello, son, I'm Detective Richards. They tell me you have something to tell me about the Wright suicide?” he said as he sat down across from him.
“Yes...Yes I do” he stumbled.
“What is your name, son?”
“Well, Louis, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”
“I know why...I know why Serenity may have killed herself.”
“Are you willing to put this all on tape?” Louis nodded. The Detective left and came back with a tape recorder.
“Well, the night before last I went to this party...”
The Night of the Party
“I hate you! You never let me do anything!” Serenity yelled at her mother before she slammed the door.
“I'll show her. She thinks I'm not going out but just watch me.” she said to herself. She waited until her mother was asleep before she climbed out her window and walked to the Party which was not far.
When she got there, her favorite song was playing “Life is Beautiful” by Six A.M. She went in search of her friend Theo who should be there by now. She found her by the punch bowl waiting.
“Hey I thought you said you weren’t coming.” Theo said as she passed her a drink. Serenity looked at it. “I got some before they spiked it.”
“Oh, and I changed my mind plus I didn’t want to leave you alone, best buddy.”
“Yeah… right.” Theo rolled her eyes.
They just sat there quietly watching the crowd. Seeing who was there and who was not there. They sat there until Jake came and snuck out before Theo and scared her half to death.
“Uhhh…I cannot stand you Jake!” she screamed.
“But you know you love me.” He smiled.
“Serenity, why didn’t you warn me?” Serenity was too busy laughing to answer her. Theo was mad that Serenity did not warn her, and she wanted to get away from Jake, so she stormed off. Serenity was going to go after her but Jake grabbed her arm.
“What do you want Jake?” she said trying to pull her arm away.
“Nothing, I just want a hug.” He said holding out his arms. She looked at him with suspicion but then he smiled and she gave him a hug. When she was about to let go her hugged her tighter.
“Are you okay, Jake?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just want to feel you.”
“Okay, Creepy.” She said as she took his arms from around her and she walked away to go find Theo.
When she finally found her, she was talking to her ex-boyfriend, Robert. They were arguing about something again. She thought there whole relationship was stupid and dumb. He was a jerk and she was a sucker in a way they did fit though I guess it depends on how you look at it. She decided not to intrude so she went to see if there was anything to eat or at least munch on.
When she got to the kitchen though, there was nothing but a bowl of chips but someone spilled punch in it. It smelled so disgusting she almost gagged. She looked in the fridge and all she found was beer and liquor.
“You hungry, too” She turned around to find her friend, Mike.
“Yeah” she said as she walked up to him.
“Me and the boys got some food in the basement.”
“What are you guys doing in the basement?”
“Playing a game”
“Why don’t you come down and see?” He grabbed a twelve pack of beer off the counter and opened the door to the basement which was behind him. Serenity thought about it for a minute then went down. She was normally nosy or as she would put it, curious.
When she got downstairs she seen all the food on the table and the boys were sitting in a circle just drinking. They all looked at her as she came down the stairs.
“I have arrived with more beer and a special guest.”
“She is not a guest. She’s a bum.” Jake said.
“Shut up and move.” She said as she pushed him out of his chair. “Now what game are we playing?”
“Who is “we”?” Jake said getting up from the floor.
“Shut up, Jake. If she wants in on the game then let her.” Jake and Mike looked at each other for a minute and smiled.
Mike proceeded to explain the game. It was truth or dare with a twist. Each time a person did not do a dare or answer the truth they had to drink but what Serenity did not know was that each time she drank Jake slipped a drug in her drink. Serenity did not notice until the twelfth round when she started to feel dizzy.
“Hey, is anyone feeling dizzy?” she said holding her head.
“Look, you drink too much. Go lay down on the little bed over there.” She looked around to see the bed in the corner. She got up and tripped the whole way there but as soon as she hit the mattress she knocked out. They waited twenty minutes then Jake got up to check if she was really asleep.
“Is she knocked out?” one of the guys said.
“Yeah” he said as he began to feel her breast.
“Let the party begin!” Mike yelled.
Later that night….
Serenity woke up on the bed, her head was spinning and it was dark. She got up and felt around for her shoes. She did not remember taking off her shoes but she was to dizzy to give a care. She finally found them. As she put them on she had these feeling just come over her like she was dirty. It felt like someone had licked her all over. She felt disgusted and just want to go home. After put her shoes on, she got up to find the stairs. She finally bumped after walking around the room a few times.
When she got up stairs, the whole place was trashed and there was sleeping bodies everywhere. She walked over them and out the door. She did not remember the walk it took all that matter was when she saw her house she ran for it like it was her life.
© Copyright 2016 Charley Black. All rights reserved.