Dancing on rooftops

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
A lov story about the struggle of acceptance

Submitted: April 22, 2016

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Submitted: April 22, 2016

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Dancing on rooftops

By Charlotte S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking at her across the schoolyard it seemed that she didn’t have a care in the whole world. She was so self confident, laughing with the widest smile and throwing her bleached blond hair around. Putting on a show for the boys with her girlfriends. The way her hands accidentally moved with her excitement and as choice of words when she talked. And how her knees gave in and she almost tumbled when she found something being extremely funny. How her postures still made it look like there was nothing that could break her, nothing that could stop her, she was so fierce.

Now I know that is not the fact.

After I really got to know her the 9th of June last summer it changed. Not that it is a bad view; it’s just a different one. I still think she’s strong and incredibly pretty but I can now see the vulnerability through her incredibly bright happiness. I can see the act that she puts up when she is around them boys, but still her outgoing personality is always pure. I’m quite sure that she was born high, at least on life.

Last summer we were doing crazy things together, some that should never be mentioned again. We were having the time of our life. Time didn’t seem to pass when she was with me and everyday brought some new excitement and memories.  Everything was just so perfect. Way too good to be true. And I realized that that was the case when her friends came home from their summer trip, that she hadn’t been able to afford to go with them. They hadn’t let her know that they were coming home and were going to surprise her. But when they came storming in, the surprise was not theirs anymore, when they saw me, the soccer girl lying in her bed. She flipped, I had no idea that this side of her existed, and when her friends were gone all she did was cry and scream and cry a little more. No matter what I tried nothing could make it right and then she started pushing and throwing things. Eventually she managed to push me out the door. That was the last time we talked.

Sitting on this bench thinking about this past summer in a safe distance from Carmen is the closest thing I will get to her, even though I know that she is completely aware of me staring, she pretends like nothing ever happened. But hey, that’s her problem, she’s the one that is stuck, at least I am free to do what ever the fuck I want to and not let anyone affect that.

 

“Hey you weirdo, what are you doing staring into thin air like that, the break was over 10 minutes ago” her friend Adrian called at her.

Leslie turned away from the fence of the soccer court, took one last look at Carmen, shook her head and joined the practice again.

“Who are you calling a weirdo” she said as she tackled him to the ground.

“Oh this is so on!” Adrian said as he sprinted to his feet and ran after her laughing.

 

After practice Leslie headed to the locker room to change. She Adrian and Eleanor were going to go to her place to study and order pizza. Since she was the only girl that practiced with the boy’s team at her school the locker room was always empty at this time of day. She liked coming in there to take a shower and to be alone with her thoughts for a minute. She untied her shoes and put in the combination for her locker. She let her ponytail down so her straight brown hair fell all over the place, stroked her palm over her face as she took her towel out of her locker.

Next thing she knew, she got smashed against the wall, face first.

“Are you telling people lies about me? ” One of the three girls said

“Well if it isn’t Carmen and the A-team to what do I owe this pleasure?” Leslie said as she realized the circumstance.

“What the hell have you been saying to Markus about her” Karin said

“I saw you whispering something to him after practice yesterday” Heather added as she turned Leslie around still holding her tight against the wall.

“Good to know your pets are keeping an eye on me” Leslie said while looking at Carmen who stood in a safe distance behind her friends

“Seriously though, you don’t think it was me? As much as I might wish that it was I don’t have more energy to waste on you and you know it. Mark was probably just trying to get you down since you wont accept to be his property. Although we both know the truth and maybe its just time that it got ou -”. Leslie got a punched in her stomach followed by a fist in the face. As she fell to the ground she got a kick in her leg and another ones followed onto her head.

“Told you it was her” Heather said as she looked at Carmen and alongside Karin walked out laughing.

“I will be right behind you” Carmen called after them.

She was left in complete silence trying as hard as she could to hold back her tears.  After a while she bent down to Leslie that was lying motionless on the floor and the tears came storming down. She laid her head on her chest and hugged her tight. After a few minuets she raised her self up, kissed Leslie on the cheek and walked out.

“Wh-…why are you torturing yourself?” She heard said faintly from behind her as she walked out the door.

 

  1.  

 

When Carmen came home, she threw her backpack on the floor, microwaved some popcorn, turned on TV and lay down on the couch. She had a really hard time wrapping her head around what had happened. She had cancelled her plans with her friends to go shopping, told them she was getting sick. Even though she tried very hard to concentrate on the TV-show that was on she could hear Leslies voice whisper on repeat in her head. No matter how she tried to distract herself she couldn’t stop thinking.

 

 “Get up you lazy pants, put this on, we are going out ” Noel said to his sister as he threw at her a bag from Urban outfitters where she was lying in bed “Even though your lame ass friends left you this summer for some stupid rich girl Europe trip it doesn’t mean your not allowed to have some fun, I wont allow this”

There was silence in the room, his sister lifted her head from the pillow, and stared at him with a suspicious look on her face.

 “No worries, Meredith dropped them by, she thought they might cheer you up, we, Sam and Mark are all going to a party at Adrian’s and you are coming with us, no buts, just say thank you and be ready in 40 minutes ” He said as he ran out.

Carmen sat up on her bed and took a deep breath. She stood up from her bed, and walked to the bathroom. She hadn’t done anything for four days and looked like crap. She wasn’t very fond of going to this particular party but she was getting quite tired of watching TV-shows in bed. She put on the clothes her brother’s girlfriend had bought for her, a black detailed tank top, all over ripped mom jeans and some mix and match necklaces, not bad she thought to herself. To complete the look she wore her thick beach wavy hair down and put on a pair of high-heeled boots.

 

Adrian and his friends had obviously put a lot of work into planning the whole thing. They had made the rooftop of his house into a dance floor with lights everywhere. He had blown up a plastic pool and put up soccer goals in one of the corners. Adrian had ordered so much pizza that he could probably feed the whole neighbourhood for at least a weak after the party. The music was very loud and most of the people were already dancing when they arrived. Sam and Meredith had met their girlfriends inside so Carmen was left with the boys. Other then the people she came with Carmen couldn’t spot anyone that she knew, except from a few friends of Noel’s, which didn’t come to her as much of a surprise. Since her brother was in the year above her.

“Hey yo, Noel, Mark!” Adrian called when he saw them entering the roof, he was dancing with two girls, one was red haired with brown eyes and very petite, she was wearing a flower dress and flip-flops. The other one was tall, rather tanned, had very blue eyes and long brown hair. She was wearing tight black jeans, a green loose T-shirt and a red snap-back.

“And you must be Carmen!” Adrian added as he shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, these are Eleanor and Leslie”. The girls greeted her and Leslie gave her a smile.

They all went to the bar table to grab some drinks and soon the boys had joined in on the soccer, they tried to drag Leslie along but she wasn’t up to it. The girls found a seat and soon they were talking and laughing so hard together.

“I see you’ve made some friends” Noel said as he bent down to give his sister a very sweaty hug. “Let go Noel, I swear to god!” Carmen said sharply but couldn’t help laughing. “We are going to go dancing if you want to join. Carmen I know Mark would be very delighted if you would honour him with you presence” Noel said with a grin on his face. His sister punched him in the shoulder “Screw you” she said as she gave Leslie an awkward smile. Noel looked at the other girls “Leslie?… Eleanor?”  Eleanor looked at Leslie with a very convincing look on her face “Just go you idiot I know how badly you want to dance, I will join you later, I promise, I mean someone has to keep Carmen here company” Leslie said as she gave Carmen a flirty smile. Noel looked suspiciously at Leslie and his sister but then went to join the others on the floor.

 

 

“THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG, YOU HAVE TO COME DANCE WITH ME” Mark shouted over the loud music as he came running towards Carmen who found her self dragged on to the dance floor before she could say anything. Leslie had gone to the bar to get them something more to drink. But when Carmen looked back over her shoulder Leslie was nowhere to be found. Mark was the kind of guy that all of the girls would kill for. But Carmen had never gotten what it was about him that was so unresisting still Mark would not give up on her. As a matter of fact he hadn’t given up since he first met her when she was fourteen, that was three years ago, Carmen found that quite pathetic. After a while of dancing with Markus and pretending that she was very interested in everything he was telling her Carmen spotted Leslie across the floor dancing with Eleanor. Leslie has already been looking at her and gave her an eye as theirs met. A shiver went down Carmen’s back, what the hell was that. 

“Carmen look I’m very into you and I know that your into me as well, I mean a guy likes his teasing and all” Mark said into her ear as he grabbed her waist and drew her closer. Carmen still had her eyes stuck on Leslie. “ I mean babe can’t you just stop being so childish and let things float like they are suppose to“. The lack of attention Mark was getting started to bother him. As he made an attempt to kiss her she ripped herself loose in anger, bent down under the crowd (one of the perks of being small she thought) and tried to get lost. She could hear Mark cursing behind her and she couldn’t help but laugh about it so she almost tumbled. She went to the place that Leslie had been dancing still bent down but both Leslie and Eleanor were gone. Leslie had probably misread the situation; she had probably given up on the whole thing when she saw her with Markus. Or was there ever a thing? She was so stupid, she was probably just being ni-“ She got poked on the back “Looking for someone?” someone said from behind her and as she turned around Leslie kissed her on the lips.

 

  1.  

 

“Dear god Leslie, I know you don’t want to be bothered while showering and all, but this is probably the longest shower someone has taken since the history of showering” Eleanor shouted as she entered the girls locker room.

“ You do realize we’ve been waiting for an hour after you beauty queen? your mom just called me to say that the pizza is on it’s way, she said you weren’t answering your phone…” Eleanor continued as she approached Leslie who was sitting on the bench between the lockers with her head in her palms.

“Well when you get kicked by your fate in the face and pass out for a quarter of an hour or so before the shower it gives the most magical results, from the scale one to ten how do I look?” Leslie said faintly as she drew her palms away from her face.

“Oh my lord Leslie what the hell happened?” Eleanor said as she took a seat beside her.

“Well since you´ve been telling me to step up my make-up game recently, I decided to try on some purple Smokey. Was pizza date not the right timing… or is purple just not my colour?” Leslie said with a smile but teary eyes.

“You can just never be serious can you?” Eleanor said as she attempted to put her arms around her.

 “Yeah… ” Leslie said as she pulled back “I put some purple eye shadow on my shoulders as well, we don’t want it to get smudged into my T-shirt do we” Leslie added. Eleanor couldn’t help but laugh.

 “Shouldn’t we get going, we don’t want the pizza to get cold?” Leslie said as she stood up. Eleanor gave her a very worried look. Leslies biggest flaw was probably the fact that she always felt like she was bothering other peoples with her problems, she didn’t want them to feel bad for her so she always tried to run away from it, Eleanor hated it.

“Come on, I will tell to you on the way to the car, for real” Leslie said as she stretched out her arm to Eleanor.

 

When they arrived at Leslies home her parents had already gone out for their movie date. They went up stairs and took the two boxes of pizza that were lying on the dining table with them. On one of the boxes was a note that said  “– For the three musketeers, with love Bella (Mom)”.

Adrian and Eleanor went straight down to business and were already arguing about something test related. Leslie took a seat on the couch on her windowsill, put her headphones to the highest volume and looked out the window.

 

“Don’t be such a pussy, I’ve been up here a dozen of times, and I swear to my life that you wont get caught!” Carmen shouted down to Leslie. They were at an abandoned construction area on top of a hill on the outskirts of town. Carmen was already climbing over the big wire fence.

“This does not look safe Carmen, we are definitely not suppose to be here!” Leslie called back at her while looking carefully in every direction.

“ You’re such a wet blanket Les, that’s the whole point of it, that’s why it is fun” Carmen called back at her from the top of the fence.

“Well if you aren’t coming you are going to have to stand out here alone, and I am pretty sure that is not something you want to do either!” Carmen shouted as she threw her backpack at the other side of the fence and then jumped down herself. Well, Carmen was right about that so Leslie followed shortly after.

“Are you sure no one will see us?” Leslie whispered into the darkness. Carmen just rolled her eyes, picked up her backpack and took her hand. They went to the back of the building and climbed up a ladder that had been left there and led to the way up to the top of the building.

When they climbed onto the unfinished rooftop Leslie looked around in astonishment. All around she could see the lights from the houses back in town but still they were faint enough for the starts to be clearly visible.  Carmen took two blankets out of her backpack and laid one of them on the roof. The other one she wrapped around herself, and then sat down and tilted her head backwards to look at the stars.

“So, what to you think?” Carmen said after a while

“Not bad” Leslie answered as she laid down beside her and gave her a grin.

“Not bad?” Carmen repeated after her trying her best to seem offended as she looked at her. Leslie pulled Carmen down to kissed her.

Leslie lay awake watching the beauty of the night sky with Carmen who had already fallen a sleep lying on her chest.

 

 

“Earth calling Leslie, hello, yeah hi” Adrian said as he lifted up one ear of Leslie’s headphones. Leslie turned her head from the window and looked at her friends who had their books spread all over the floor and were deeply sucked into their homework.

“Leslie this test is tomorrow you really have to concentrate” Eleanor said to her. Without saying anything Leslie stood up from the windowsill, walked to her closet and put on a black rain jacked and some sneakers. Her friends had their eyes stuck on her with worried looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry, I have to go get some fresh air, I will be back soon, just continue without me” Leslie said to her friends as she climbed out her bedroom window.

“Yeah like we’ve been doing all evening” Eleanor sighed.

 

  1.  

 

Carmen woke up to her brother and Meredith coming home. The two siblings had been living alone, well except for Meredith who had almost moved in, for the past months, their parents decided to go travel the world with some even older and greyer group of people.

“Can I borrow the car?” Carmen asked her brother as she sat up on the couch.

“I just brought Indian food, your favourite and you are just going to abandon this incredible feast, we were going to pray, light a fire and make a sacrifice before we ate, and you are just going to walk away?” Her brother said as he opened up the bag, laid the food on the table and made a red dot on his face with the sauce from the chicken.

“Noel… we order Indian food at least once every two weeks, why are you acting so strange?”

“Well, Karin and Heather called me and told me that they were worried about you. Said that you had gone home sick from school and were worried you might have caught the flue, said you had been awfully quiet all day, what is going on?” Meredith added to the conversation

“The stupid shopping trip? Really? Tell me do I look sick to you?” Carmen couldn’t hide her astonishment and anger  “I tell you two one thing I am sick of all the idiots around me! What is wrong with all of you, are you all blind? Can no one see that I am really hurting? Can you please hand me the Car keys Noel, I really need to go someplace ” Carmen said as her voice cracked.

“Why the hell should you be suffering so much, you get what ever the fuck you want to handed to you on a silver plate within seconds, all of the girls I’ve ever met would undergo anything to look like you! Everyone who meets you falls in love with you, you have best friends who are trying to help you, what more do you want!? You are so ungrateful, I hope you know that!” Her brother shouted back at her.

“My friends?! Are trying to help me, yeah sure, you want to know what! Today they just punched the living shit out of the only person I care about, and what did I do? I fucking stood their trying to impress them and I just watched them almost kill Leslie and didn’t do-  …” Carmen stopped as she realized what she had said. She hurried towards the door, grabbed the spare keys to the car and slammed the door behind her.

 

“What are you looking at?” Leslie said to Carmen as she searched for her clothes on the floor.

“You know... if you want to stay over, I don’t mind, Noel is staying at Meredith’s tonight so we would have the house all to ourselves” Carmen said as she rose herself half way up on her bed. Leslie walked towards her.

“Plus… you are also afraid of being alone in the largest house ever … Like who even needs eight bathrooms, that’s just excessive.” Leslie added.

“Yeah... I was going to leave that out but since you’ve brought it up then yes, that to” Carmen answered.  “But seriously though if you want to, or well if you don’t want to I understand it and I am no going to force you to stay but I mean I would really like it if you would, but as I said it’s completely fine if- ”

“Carmen, I might just love you” Leslie said as she silenced her with a kiss.

 

“SURPRIIIIISSEEE!!” Heather and Karin shouted as they came storming in with giggles but when silent as fast as they came, when they saw Leslie and Carmen, in bed together, hardly wearing anything. For a few minutes silence overtook the room, no one even dared to breath.

 

“GET OUT I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Carmen shouted as she threw Leslie her clothes and then some pillows from her bed followed.

“Carmen chill out, they are your friends, they wont say anything” Leslie said as she tried to approach her. “I didn’t know you were this ashamed of yourself”.

“I am not ashamed of my self, this is not me, this is you, you’ve dragged me into your little fantasy and I never wanted anything to do with it. ”Carmen cried as she walked out her bedroom door. “This is not who I am suppose to be… I, I could have any guy that I like, and, and… I am going to loose my friends because of you and they will tell everyone at school and they will all l think that I am some sort of a freak, and everything in my life will go down the sink!” She was in so much frustration that she could not stay still.

“A freak?! Is that how you think of me? You know had all the right to walk away when ever you wanted to so do not try to blame this on me!”

“No not you, with you it is different you are just gay, , but I, I am just me and I have all that I want to be planned in my head and then you come along ruining everything and taking me off my track you wouldn’t understand”

“JESUS CARMEN ARE YOU REALLY THIS BLIND!? Tell me, if you could have all these boys, why have you never had one of them, why do you always flake out on them? Like Mark at the party why did you not just kiss him?”

“GO TO HELL!, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” Carmen screamed as she pushed Leslie towards the front door.

 

 

 

Carmen climbed up the ladder and managed to pull herself up to the rooftop. She walked to the middle of the building, wrapped her hands around her self and looked up to the sky. There were no stars to be seen, only big dark clouds and the full moon.  She felt her tears blown away and she shouted out at the wind. She had become restless from all the crying so she had to sit down. She shut of her thoughts and looked around. The moon was so bright that it lit up the whole ground; she could faintly see the lights from town. She could hear the sound from cars driving on the highway and an airplane flying over and it made her feel calmer.  And then suddenly out of the blue she got poked in the back.

“Looking for some one?” Leslie said as she pulled Carmen up and wiped what was left of her tears away, put her hands on each side of her face and kissed her.

“Ouch” Leslie said as she drew away from the kiss. “That did not turn out like I had imaged”.

“Yeah... I’m sorry you might want to get that checked, you kind of look like Kylie Jenner though, cant decide if it is hot or not.”  Carmen said as she laughed through her tears.

“You are such an asshole” Leslie said as she hugged her tightly.

“An asshole that might just love you ” Carmen added.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2017 Charlotte S.. All rights reserved.

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