A Touch of God

Reads: 462  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A low self esteem leads to a suicide attempt. This is an account of how I almost lost my life had it not been for a Touch of God. I hope to inspire those who battle with low self esteem and depression to know that God is watching over you and cares about you.

Submitted: February 20, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 20, 2015

A A A

A A A


~~A Touch of God
“911! What is your emergency?” asked the dispatcher on the other end of the line.
“I just swallowed a whole bottle of Tylenol Pm and I am scared! I wanted to die but now I don’t!”
“We have an ambulance on the way. Stay with us!” the dispatcher told me.
The day had started out like any other day. I picked up clutter from around the house and did a load of laundry. Nothing in my life seemed out of place. In fact, I was very happy. Then what was it that had prompted me later on that evening to take such drastic measures to end my life?
As the day crept into evening, I became restless. My children were away at Grandpa and Grandma’s house and I was alone. Being alone was a scary place for me and as the evening shadows turned into the darkness of the night, the ghosts of who I was came out to play.
I have always battled a low self-esteem like thousands of others across the expansion of the world. My life was no harder for me than anyone else, in fact I held a good job and had two beautiful daughters. I had loving parents and was liked by everyone who knew me. My only enemy was myself! Some days I would get an over whelming sense of hatred toward myself. I felt that I was all alone in my world. I was a single mother and my childhood values were that this was something that made me a bad person. I carried a lot of shame and quilt.
On this particular evening, the demons came to torment my soul. The only way I knew how to not care about who I was and what I had become, was to drink alcohol to the point of oblivion. I tried to make it a point not to drink excessively when my children were home, and so this particular night I knew they were safe. I was free to go out to the tavern. That is exactly what I did.
As I sat there nursing my wounded self with glasses of slow gin, I became more and more depressed. Instead of making me feel happy and satisfied like I belonged in this world, it had the complete opposite effect. I couldn’t endure it any longer, sitting there by myself with not a friend in the world, I got up, paid my tab and left.
I entered my house and got ready for bed as the alcohol was making me very tired. I lay in bed no more than a few minutes, when I got up as though some being stronger than me was propelling me to the kitchen. Beside the kitchen sink was an unopened bottle of Tylenol Pm. I picked up the bottle with trembling hands and opened it. I began pouring handfuls of pills into my hand and with a glass of water swallowed the entirety of that bottle. Then I turned and went back to bed where I lay awaiting the outcome of the pills.
Suddenly, just as quick as I had climbed into bed, I jumped out. I grabbed my phone and called 911. Soon the ambulance and police were at my door. I was rushed to the hospital where I was treated for an overdose of Tylenol Pm.
Are there unseen angels at work? I choose to believe so. If it had not been for the unseen hand of a Power Greater than myself, I would have died that night.  To that I will be eternally grateful because I am worthwhile. I am a valued human being and capable of bringing joy to others. My life on earth is not over. I have a place to fill. My mission is to love and be loved!
 

 


© Copyright 2020 Charmain Kaye. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply