Today I went surfing feeling the ocean in such a way was incredible feeling so small and powerless not in control, was an awakening for me I am not in control of every thing I need to go with the flow.
According to nature it's not in my power to control life only to continue life, as the world changes as the seasons and time passes on obstacles will arise but I need to remain relaxed and focused and let nature take its course and move my body into the proper position.
My soul needed drastic change I was not living I was a slave to the world I still am in many ways but I am awakening my spirit to old ways of life older than my body but my spirit knows and recognizes the positive change and is comfortable. I always felt so much older then my age and know I know that my body is young and my mind is unreliable but my spirit is old and wise find your spirit and you will find abundance.
I mourn for my children every day. Even though I know I made a healthy decision. I do not mean to be selfish or uncaring but I need to find myself how can I take care of them how would I show them down the right path when I can not do it for my self the righteous thing to do is to put my self on the side for them my reasoning was wrong but now I can make it right!
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