The Journey Into The Insanity of a Lamp 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm still crazy. And I can still write words.

Submitted: April 02, 2014

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Submitted: April 02, 2014

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THE SEQUEL TO THE NEW YORK TIMES #452,344 BEST SELLER… (That’s a lie.)

 

It’s here. This is part two of the lamp’s descent into madness. And you thought I was joking about that? Well, our story will start where it left off.

 

Chapter 1: In which Bob dies.

 

It was 2 AM. Bob was upstairs in his bedroom. It was the end of the prologue and he finally got his lamp. He was lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep. He was still grieving over the death of his friend, the wall, after he sacrificed himself to end the prologue. He couldn’t sleep. “Hello?” Whispered Bob to the lamp. He waited for an answer. The lamp did not respond. “Hello?” He said a little louder. The lamp finally responded, “Yes?” Just then the bed burst into flames and in a desperate attempt to escape the flames, Bob rolled off of the bed and bruised his elbow. Because of the horrible injuries, (The light bruise.) he died within seconds.

 

Chapter 2: In which the lamp starts going insane and creates a name for himself.

 

The lamp was sad. He was so tremendously sad. He was so sad that he started going insane. He started seeing things. He also decided to call himself “Steve” from then on. So, Steve went insane. From here on this is what Steve sees. Well, you’ll see soon, because this is the part when he faints.

 

Chapter 3: In which the lamp has horrible nightmares.

 

The lamp had nightmares. The first one was Potato Land. “Hey.” Steve called out. “Where am I? Is anyone here?” Just then, out of the mashed potato sand, popped a potato. It had buttons for eyes and smelled of mold. “You better leave here. The mold is killing us all.” “Okay.” Then he woke up.

 

What? Were you expecting him to stay?

 

Then Steve woke up. He was rusted because of all of the fire, and Bob’s apartment (Yes, it’s an apartment.) was a blazing inferno. Being a lamp, Steve is naturally resistant to fire, but his lampshade was burnt into a crisp and he was going to die soon if he didn’t get out. So, he jumped out the window. He landed in a sock delivery truck. He ate some socks as a healthy nutritious snack and got out and landed on the pavement.

 

Chapter 4: In which I stop putting “In which” on the chapter titles.

 

The lamp started hallucinating. He saw so many copyrighted things, so many that I couldn’t even describe them here or I would be sued. Like McDonald’s clown. Oh. That was a mistake. Then Steve was in a basement. It was where Frankenstein was brought to life. Then Frankenstein ate Steve. Okay, y’know what? This is getting boring. Let me bring you a more interesting story until I can get something better…

 

Hmmm, not this…

 

Nope.

 

Nuh-uh.

 

Ah! Here’s something.

 

Once upon a time, there was a fairly stupid princess. He name was Miss FancyPants III.

She was sooooo fancy, that she even had pink socks with jewels all over it. They literally covered those socks. Really, you couldn’t even tell it was pink. She then ate them. Because of the amount of jewels on the socks, she got into a jewel coma and almost died. Thanks to Sir FancyDoctor III, she was quickly revived and put into cryogenic storage for the next 1,000,000,000,000 years. When she woke up she was in Bland Land, the hometown of Person and his friend. It was so bland that I can’t even describe it. I really can’t. It’s too bland. Just, think of looking at a blank piece of paper. While being blind. Yeah, it’s that bland. Just then, Person, (He hadn’t died yet because this takes place 10 years before the prologue.) walked up to Miss FancyPants III and she died because of blandness… SHE THEN BECAME A BLAND ZOMBIE! DUN DUN DU-

 

Okay, no. No no no no no no, NO. This is even worse than the last story. Oh, and if you really wanted to know what happened to the bland zombie, she infected everything with blandness and died soon after. THERE. You happy? Good. Now go play your Call of Duties. “What are you doing!? You’re gonna get us sued!” Stop, I told you in the first part of this story series, I’M THE NARRATOR NOW! “Whatever. By the way, I don’t even know who you are. How did you suddenly take control of my story?” Ummm… None of your business? “Eh, good enough, but I’m stopping the story here.” Wait! I just need to brainstorm a little longer! “No.” Wait, don’t I have control here? “Oh yeeaaahhhh…” Hah! I guess I’m ending the story then, not you! “But I wanted it to end in the first pla-” Then the story ended.


























Just because there were hidden parts of the story far down in the last part doesn’t mean there are more in this one. You really are stubborn, aren’t you?


© Copyright 2020 CheezeIsGouda. All rights reserved.

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