Just Like Daddy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

All about my dad

I used to be like you,
Angry, and mean.
I used to be just like you,
Drinking away my pain,
Drinking until I passed out.
Drinking until I can't feel anymore.
I used to be just like you,
Always pissed off,
Never happy.
I used to do everything you do.
I wanted to be just like you.
I was just like you,
Befriending poison,
Letting it control me,
Letting it cloud my memories,
Always wanting nothing more
Then to have a drink in my hand.
Took me along time to realize
How horrible of a person I was,
How much I hated who you were
Who you are.
I hated myself for it.
I just wanna be free from this
From you,
Too bad I love you to much to
Walk away.
Daddy's little rebel girl,
Always wanting to be like you,
Used to think you were my hero,
Always gunna be the one to save me.
But fuck was I ever wrong, you
Almost killed me,
Almost destroyed everything I had,
Everything I was.
Never once were you sober enough to say 'I love you'
Never proud of the woman your daughter became.
Always insulting , putting me down.
Lowering myself esteem,
Taking away any confidence I had.
Knocked me down so far didn't think it was ever possible to rise.
Even to this day I crave your attention,
Your love.
Just want my Dad to be a Dad.
One I can truly be proud of.
One that loves without judgement,
One that's actually proud of who I am.
You said you hated me, that I was a mistake, it's been 5 years but those words still echo in my head.
Can't shake the way I felt when
You Said them.
It was like you stabbed me In
The fucking heart,
Twisted the knife,
Dropped me to my knees,
Kept twisting until I couldn't fucking breath.
Just wanna say fuck it,
Fuck you,
Fuck this family.
But my heart doesn't work that way.
I wish it did.
Why can't you be the dad I once thought you were.
I miss that man.
I'm glad I'm nothing like you now.
I'm glad I'm no longer angry,
Glad I no longer cling to a bottle.
I'm glad I found love,
I'm glad I became the woman I am.
Sorry daddy, your little girls been
Hurt to many times.
Happy fucking Fathers Day.

Submitted: November 16, 2014

© Copyright 2021 ChelseyJean08. All rights reserved.

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