My Fear Of Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

My fears

My heart can't take much,
It's been broken to many times.
Love destroys so many things
Including me.
I've watched people leave,
I've lost too many.
I've seen things I shouldn't have.
Been broken down too many times.
Words can't be erased,
Scars will never fade.
The words "I love you"
Scare me, puts thoughts in my head, makes me insecure and drives me insane.
I just want a simple life,
With A man who loves me unconditionally, never intentionally hurting me.
A man who'll stand by me,
Be patient and hold me when I feel completely afraid.
There are days, I feel so disconnected, so alone.
Not sure if it's him or if it's me.
Just wanna guard my heart,
Just wanna protect myself
From all that can hurt me.
Risks scare me,
He scares me,
Being an "us" terrifies me.
What if he doesn't love the woman I am?
What if I'm nothing he thought I was?
What if I fall && he doesn't catch me.
I keep trying to let him in,
But still putting up my walls,
I can feel them closing in,
I wish I could be brave,
Wish I could be strong.
I wish I trusted love, the way
I trust him.
Loves let me down one too many times,
Hopefully he's the one who can show me a new light, a new way.
I just want to make him happy,
Stand beside him, hold him when he's sad, listen when he needs to vent.
All I want is him, all of him.
All I want to do is give him all of me but that little voice in my heads
Telling me not to be stupid, not to fall again.
I care for him, I do
I'm just terrified of falling && him not being there.
I'm terrified that he's the distant one, that it's not just me.

Submitted: November 16, 2014

© Copyright 2021 ChelseyJean08. All rights reserved.

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