A piece I wrote recently

 

Walk

Walking has always been a major love in his life. The more so as autumn merged into winter; the park was carpeted with frail fallen leaves as birds and other life forms waged the daily struggle to survive. It was not easy. Walking led to deep thought.

Naked trees yearned upward. Even within vulnerability and frailty was the knowledge that he must go on. Gulls called, he looked up as he often did. Now, it was all memories.

The killing was a memory. Nobody had wanted to know how he felt; the pain of violation by events beyond his control. There was the hurt of final betrayal yet, killing the one who betrayed him achieved no real freedom.

Earlier the chaplain had been; he would come again. They had prayed the prayer left by Jesus “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Yet, it was beyond him, mercy was his resting place and abiding hope. Someone spoke his name and said –

It’s time”

The Chaplain was beside him, this was the final walk. Entering the shed he climbed the gallows stairs. While waiting he spoke –

I have no fear of death. I fear only a life where none wish to see clearly. A life where expression of rage and pain is stifled. A life where hurt and killing are as coldly premeditated as my death is now. I have never been brutalized as you who now kill me are. Killing me is wrong, the rage and pain inflicted on me are wrong…even now may forgiveness come where it is needed.”

Distantly a Gull cried

I’m ready”

The Chaplain read, “Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow…”

Darkness, the rope…

Thou art with me”

The drop; motionless in space

Thy rod and staff comfort me”

The chaplain closed his book.

George Coombs (310 words)

 

 


Submitted: May 29, 2012

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Comments

Livebecauseyoucan

Good job, I like it! :)

Tue, May 29th, 2012 9:34am

Author
Reply

Thankyou, its good to hear from you

Wed, June 27th, 2012 4:01am

kittycatt738

I like this piece because it's ending is so dramatic but it sneaks up on the reader. The introduction is great and compelling and as you read, you realise it is someone's last memory.

Have you thought about filling out this story? I'd love to know why he killed someone and what the betrayal was!

Wed, May 30th, 2012 7:43pm

Author
Reply

Thankyou for your useful and constructive comments

Wed, June 27th, 2012 4:00am

Chiang Yee

Thankyou friends, its good to hear from you

Wed, May 30th, 2012 10:30pm

Chiang Yee

Thankyou friends, its good to hear from you

Wed, May 30th, 2012 10:30pm

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