The Masochist

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this , but when the pencil stopped , there were lots of typos . I don't know what it's supposed to mean , or why I even wrote it , but it irritated me when I read it . The title is kind of unfitting , but hey- I don't know . ~enjoy~

Submitted: January 06, 2008

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Submitted: January 06, 2008



With a simple prayer and what could be considered my final will , my heart shattered beneath the impaction of cruelty , seeing as how my wishes were never met . However , that cruelty aside , though that infatuation I may have had ages ago , I must simply say that I am not at all ashamed by what has occured , and the events following , now leading me out of purgatory and into the deepest depths of the Hell he will never see . Why , you ask , will he never know these depths of Hell ? By that wish , I had somehow protected him from the hatred and despair I had taken in his place , and thusly , purgatory shall lead to a beautiful Heaven for him . Which is why , I must say , the agony I once felt , what with being seperated from him , had been replaced with a releif that he hadn't been sent to this same Hell in which I dwell , and for my greed for wishing to exchange a spot in Heaven just to see him for a final time . What was it that drove me , the emotion that possessed me into beleiving , that somehow , I shall be saved ? The ill fated child I have become , though I may smile at my own pain , I have started to wonder if I truly belonged here , somehow sparing the guilt when I felt that I somehow didn't belong in this prison . For what would be better than to fall in love ? Paradise , and it is what I crave for , for the only true paradise , far better than Heaven , is his equivalent affection as much as my affection for him . And now , I still crave for that paradise , though years have passed and my tormented body had become worn down , disentegrated from work , and slowly becoming less and less recognizeable by the day . And one thing I shall never know is what his paradise was , praying it went according to plan..

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